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Archive of entries posted on 18th November 2003
Bite Sized Wisdom: French Demands, Anti-Semitism Out of Control, Bush in London, Our Kick-Ass Friends, Lamentations of a Chickenhawk, and Make Frank Famous
- We’re hoping to have a new government in Iraq by June 2004, but France is demanding one by the end of the year. First they’re not only no help, but they work against us, and now they’re trying to make demands on how to handle the liberation they didn’t support. I know it’s unprecedented, but the U.S. should just bomb France for being a bunch of douche bags. Just fly over them and drop a couple bombs on them. It’ll shut them up, and probably be an important learning experience for them.
- As I showed earlier, anti-Semitism is completely out of control since it’s now ever targeting Irish Catholics. What is it with those who hate Bush and hate liberating Iraq also hate Jews? I just love the irony of how they’re basically saying, “Bush is turning America into Nazi Germany… and it’s all because of the Joooos!”
- Finish him!
- They sure have a lot of security for Bush for his visit to London. If I were president, I wouldn’t have any security and instead just carry a .44 magnum with a scope. First protestor to get within shouting distance… POW! Those dimwits will scatter like rats. And it’s perfectly legal to kill people while in another country because their laws don’t apply to us.
- Britain has been a great ally, by the way, as have many others. Italy has really shown what their made of by reacting to the cowardly attack against them with even more resolve. Who cares if we don’t have the whiniest nations on board with us; all the most kick ass nations are already helping us out. We should like get together later and take over the world; I think the world would be a lot better for it. We could call ourselves the “Axis of Allies” or maybe just the “Super Friends”.
- Arnold is now officially governor. Expect to find a legislator’s head mysteriously crushed within a week.
- Dean is attacking Gephardt, Dean saying how he, unlike Gephardt, didn’t want the Iraqis liberated and would not support money to help our troops and the poor Iraqis. Why has my opinion of Gephardt suddenly grown?
- In monkey news, Indonesia farmers are having their crops destroyed by monkeys. Quote one farmer, “All my corn plants have been destroyed. I don’t dare do anything. If I throw stones to drive them away, the monkeys throw them back.” Of course, environmentalists are blaming this on illegal loggers as they always do. Sure, blame everyone except for the monkeys.
- That Tom Tomorrow comic about chickenhawks made me be a bit introspective: am I a horrible chickenhawk? When the attack on 9/11 occurred, I thought that some big war was coming, and I informed my boss that, if they made the call for more recruits, I’d have to quit my job and join up. When that never happen, I considered doing the reserves or National Guard, but that takes like weeks of training and sounds hard. What I’d be willing to do, though, is use a week of my own vacation to do some quick training, fly over to the Middle East, and kill some terrorists. I don’t want to be the only person on the block not to kill any.
- Actually, that might make a great tourist outing: terrorist safaris. Pay big bucks, and we help you hunt terrorists. Maybe we could even get Steve Irwin to help out:
“Those terrorist can be quite wily, and nothing pisses them off like implying that they’re homosexual. Just watch this. Hey! Omar! Who’s that next to you? Your boyfriend? Crikey! He’s trying to kill me now! Isn’t he beautiful?” - I really like the idea of setting the goal of me being rich and famous by the end of next year. I’m working on a couple things now, such as doing more rewrites on my novel and coming up with a book proposal based on humor from my site, but you people need to help to by coming up with other ideas for how I can achieve fame and money and helping me implement them. What I think could help me is growing the readership numbers on my site to give me more clout, thus I’m thinking of, instead of having a pledge drive, to have a readership drive. I’ll have more details on that as I think it up. I’ll also come up with an official name for the make Frank famous movement, and benefits for charter members for when I actually am rich and famous, such as, at book signings, you can go to the front of the line. Remember, if I get rich and famous enough, I could probably have Ted Rall disappeared. Think about it.