For those who watched the debate, would John Kerry have gone to war with Iraq or not? I’m still confus-ed.
Anyway, I took tons of notes and will have a full analyzation of the debate tomorrow morning.
Be honorable, ronin.
UPDATE: I have a special exclusive on the debates. I’ll show you tomorrow.

I’m going to watch the presidential debate as soon as it starts. If you don’t feel like catching it, I’ll report everything you need to know tomorrow… and maybe have a new Know Thy Enemy™ if you’re all good.
Later, sportsfans.

New crazy theory: maybe the orange Kerry is a way to color code the different Kerrys with all the different positions. Soon we’ll see a blue Kerry, a red Kerry, a yellow Kerry, and maybe a purple Kerry. Each color Kerry will have it’s own differently nuanced position of the day.
Frankly, it sounds like a good idea.
So what color Kerry will we see tonight…

The House has voted to make the oak the national tree. I guess that’s all fine and good, but trees all look the same to me. Why not some more national things? Like, we have our national bird, but what about a national animal? I say the T-Rex… if it doesn’t have to still be living. Here are some other national ideas:
National Amphibian: The American Hellbender, baby. Its name is wicked sweet.
National Fish: The dolphin.
National Factoid We Don’t Care About: That the dolphin is not a fish.
National Firearm: I’m partial for the 1911, but I’m thinking it should be the peacemaker to piss-off all the Europeans who think “cowboy” is an insult.
National Country We Hate: France. It’s part of being an American to hate France.
National Simpsons Quote: Lots of good quotes to choose from. Here’s my suggestion:

Homer: Do you want it done right or do you want it done fast?
Marge: Like most Americans, I want it done fast!

National Action Movie: Die Hard. Taking out terrorists with a cowboy attitude. Yippee-ki-yi-yay, mother…
National Monotreme: Platypus or Echinda… how does one choose?
National Food: Stewed monkeys… or hotdogs.
National Attitude Towards Terrorism: Kill the Bastards!
National Made Up Kung Fu Move: Lunging Dragon Kick
National Blog: IMAO. My blog best represents America. If you don’t like IMAO, you’re a damn Commie!
National Insult: Damn Commie!
If have any opinons on these or ideas for other national stuff, put it in the comments… the national comments!

The media says that part of the Patriot Act was blocked by a judge, but the blogosphere says to the media that’s bull-pucky.
Why you so stupid, stupid?
Maybe the media will start running its stories past the blogosphere in the future before showing them nationally.
Also, since I’m part of the blogosphere, remember that I’m smarter than the MSM and to listen to me first.

Kerry tried using humor, and it was big news. Yes, he bowled them over with his “How can he possibly be serious?”, left them rolling in the aisles with his, “blah blah blah” and “you bet your boots,” and nearly killed the audience with all his changing horses mid-stream jokes.
Honestly, Kerry has a lot of potential for humor, and me, a professional humorologist, has some tips for him.
First off, the pratfalls are funny, but they’re more funny if he just laughs goofily afterwards instead of yelling, “That son of a bitch Secret Service agent knocked me over!” Also, I love his secret plans bit. “I have a secret plan for Iraq!” he says and, “I have a secret plan for North Korea!” while accusing Bush of “Secret plans to take away your milk!” and “Secret plans to draft your children!” That’s wacky crazy, but it still needs some work. Maybe has a prop, he can have a folder labeled “Secret Plans” that he guards with extreme paranoia. Also, he had a great setup for a joke the other day when he said, “I have had only one position on Iraq!” but he didn’t have a good punch line. Here’s my recommendation: “I have consistently held only one position on whether the war in Iraq is right, and that position is ‘Maybe!'”
Then again, Kerry seems more like a straight man, especially considering he hasn’t even mastered the comic timing of Lurch. Maybe he could team up with Edwards (if that guy is still alive; anyone seen him?) and for the comic duo of “John and John.” Then they can play jokes off each other:

Kerry: Hey, Eddie, why did the chicken cross the road?
Edwards: I dunno, Kerry, why did the chicken cross the road?
Kerry: I served in Vietnam!

Of course, Kerry really seems to be going all out with comedy now that he dyed himself orange. Just combine that with his bunny suit and my recommendation of dying his hair red, and he’d be hilarious. I just don’t know if we want someone that dedicated to comedy being president, though, but he could be a wacky host of a kids show.
Strangely, you’d think someone so French-looking would go for humor by yelling, “Oh lady!” in a high-pitched voice. Maybe that’s something he can try at the debates tonight.

Mt. Saint Helens is not near Florida, right?

All I ever hear about Al-Jazeera is about some new video from terrorists they broadcast. So, is Al-Jazeera actually a news stations, or are they more like public access for terrorists?
I say I’m not sure and thus we should bomb them to be on the safe side.
What do you think?

Man, commutes without traffic lights suck.
Anyhoo, usually I wait for Links of the Day™ to be the last post of each day, but there are some good links to start out with.
CBS stepped in it again by doing a story about a draft coming back which is nothing but an urban legend. Bill at INDC Journal got to speak to a CBS reporter and producer about why in the world did they do such a story. BTW, you can go to Washington Post and vote for INDC Journal as best inside the beltway blog while you vote for me as class clown (yes, I’ll take any plublicity I can get).
Pay Pal has ruled that Daily Pundit is no longer evil and fit for general consumption. Hooray!
Finally, SarahK now has the next day of our first adventure out together which involved going to a Dave Mathews Band concert. I guess I should write my own version later. I’ll just say now that it’s true she actually bought herself the edited version of Eminem’s CD’s (there’s like four non-bleeped words per song) and I was stopped by security when trying to get in the concert.
Oh, and we are plotting something special together… Muh ha ha ha!