When the Pilgrims came to the Americas, the Indians welcomed the new interlopers who had decided not to slaughter all the natives and seize the land… yet. The Pilgrims, the Indians, and the turkeys all worked together in harmony to grow corn and tobacco and drill for oil on the behest of Halliburton. Everyone was happy… until the ninja attack! The Pilgrims fought back with their guns that had barrels shaped like horns while the Indians used their ancient Indian magic and arrows (mainly arrows). And there was much kung fu fighting. Eventually the Pilgrims and the Indians prevailed, but they wondered how had the ninjas found them at all. This was answered when the they saw the turkeys hiding their bags of ninja gold. The Pilgrims and the Indians then slaughtered the traitorous turkeys and prepared them to eat in a feast where they gave thanks to God for their victory over the ninjas. This became known as “Victory Over Ninjas Day” but was changed to “Thanksgiving Day” after the 1679 Ninja Peace Accord.
To this day, the turkeys have never been forgiven.

There’s a lot to be thankful for now. I really like how the election turned out and the statement it made to our enemies, but, even if Kerry had won and somehow the Democrats had seized both the House and the Senate, I’d still be so thankful of the country I live in and the opportunity it give me, those who have fought for her, and those who fight for her now.
There’s a lot in my life to be thankful for, and today’s a good day to let the people I’m thankful for know. That includes you, my readers. If I one day make it big writing or God has other plans for me, I’ll always be thankful of how you let me share my humor with you.
God bless, and I promise to be funny again after the holiday.