Here’s something we haven’t done in a while – let’s open up the mail bag!
Wow! Here’s a neat letter from a Walter Schneider. I should write him back:

Thanks for the letter! IMAO thrives on feedback. I thought your letter was so special that I wanted to respond to it point by point.
> I assume your joking, nothing here improves your standing or your party’s
> standing? (that’s a rectorial question)
Well, Walt, you’re off to a whiz-bang start here. First off, just because you put a question mark after a sentence (or attempt at a sentence), that doesn’t make it a question. Ignoring the other grammatical problems, you basically made two statements. “Are you joking?” and “Does anything here improve your standing or your party’s standing?” would be questions. See the difference?
Also, I’m pretty sure “rectorial” isn’t a word. Hypothetically, if it were a word and I were to guess at its meaning, I’d say your whole e-mail is “rectorial.”
> Everything you’ve stated makes you sound stupid and bigoted.
What about when I said, “Whenever entering a building, fire blindly into the rafters.”? I’m pretty sure that was only stupid.
> What sort of person are you?
I’m a conundrum wrapped in a riddle and placed in an enigma.
> your stating things that would, I more enlightened times WOULD be
> considered anti American. I’ll bet you’ve never had someone call you that
> before, have you?
I was once called “anti-Armenian” which is close.
BTW, English ain’t yer first language, is it?
> And one more thing, your under the delusion that the democrats are far
> gone, but you still fail to realize that they still made forty one percent of the
> vote, all of them despised George Bush, a majority voted for Albert Gore,
> and There are still a number of third parties with liberal beliefs.
Yes, but 41% tards just can’t stand against 59% non-tards. They will be crushed like a shoddily constructed chair beneath Michael Moore’s buttox.
Also, no one calls Al Gore “Albert” except for his mother. Do you think you’re his mother, Walt? You need help.
Finally, third parties are full of deluded nuts. Didn’t you get the memo?
> The world needs liberals, just as it needs conservatives. A fine balancing act
> should always be maintained; how unfortunate that the balance is off.
The world needs darkness just as it needs the light, and evil just as it needs good.
Still, I prefer one to the other.
> I suggest you look into what liberal really means; look it up in a dictionary if
> you have to.
According to my modern dictionary, liberal is defined as “pompous douche bag.” Seems about right.
> It may educate you,
The dictionary is always educating. Did you know that “retarded” comes from Old French?
> or it may leave you feeling confused,
If I get confused by a dictionary, I’ll just look up what “dictionary” means.
> but either way may of the things you’ve said are un-American, fascist (really,
> look it up), and on the verge of being racist.
Webster’s Dictionary defines “fascist” as “the process of removing weeds from a garden.” What I’ve found, though, is that people who throw around the term “fascist” should look at themselves and see if they are the ones who actually are “removing weeds from a garden.”
Oh, and I am racist. I hate whatever race you happen to be, you stupid [insert appropriate racial epithet here].
> Additional: Most new voters are liberal,
And tards.
> and they’ll grow up and replace everyone else eventually.
While getting jobs and thus stop being tards out of necessity.
> If your in this young voters age group, I do believe you’re the minority; and
> you may very well be witnessing the next surg in liberal thinking and ideals in
> this country.
That’s okay; I have guns.
> I suggest you move to Mexico… or China.
Only after they’re conquered by America and have Taco Bells in short driving distances. And don’t tell me authentic Mexican food is better; I want my Taco Bell!
> They’ll be the only countries open to you; and if you don’t like that, follow my
> advice: crawl into a ditch, cradle yourself, bring your knees up under your
> chin, and die.
Now you’re stealing from me. So bereft of your own ideas, you have to revert to plagiarism. Tsk tsk.
> Sincerely: Walter Schneider
>
> PS. Why don’t you report me to the local government office claiming un-
> American activities.
I report everyone who slightly differs from my viewpoint. As Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can prevent terrorism.”
Don’t worry; the government agents won’t bother you. They like to spy on you surreptitiously until they finally grab you and drag you off to Gitmo.
Anyway, thanks for playing, Walt. Next time, try proofreading combined with a spellchecker before hitting send; maybe your next letter will then be a bit less “rectorial.” As for the content of what you’re trying to say, there’s no quick fix for that.
Cordially,
Frank J.
http://imao.us
P.S. I just used that new-fangled dictionary and looked up “rectorial.” Ends up it is a word that mean “Pertaining to a rector or a rectory.” I thought it pertained to a rect-something else based on your usage.

Ain’t e-mail grand? (that’s a rhetorical question)