Here’s something we haven’t done in a while – let’s open up the mail bag!
Wow! Here’s a neat letter from a Walter Schneider. I should write him back:
Thanks for the letter! IMAO thrives on feedback. I thought your letter was so special that I wanted to respond to it point by point.
> I assume your joking, nothing here improves your standing or your party’s
> standing? (that’s a rectorial question)
Well, Walt, you’re off to a whiz-bang start here. First off, just because you put a question mark after a sentence (or attempt at a sentence), that doesn’t make it a question. Ignoring the other grammatical problems, you basically made two statements. “Are you joking?” and “Does anything here improve your standing or your party’s standing?” would be questions. See the difference?
Also, I’m pretty sure “rectorial” isn’t a word. Hypothetically, if it were a word and I were to guess at its meaning, I’d say your whole e-mail is “rectorial.”
> Everything you’ve stated makes you sound stupid and bigoted.
What about when I said, “Whenever entering a building, fire blindly into the rafters.”? I’m pretty sure that was only stupid.
> What sort of person are you?
I’m a conundrum wrapped in a riddle and placed in an enigma.
> your stating things that would, I more enlightened times WOULD be
> considered anti American. I’ll bet you’ve never had someone call you that
> before, have you?
I was once called “anti-Armenian” which is close.
BTW, English ain’t yer first language, is it?
> And one more thing, your under the delusion that the democrats are far
> gone, but you still fail to realize that they still made forty one percent of the
> vote, all of them despised George Bush, a majority voted for Albert Gore,
> and There are still a number of third parties with liberal beliefs.
Yes, but 41% tards just can’t stand against 59% non-tards. They will be crushed like a shoddily constructed chair beneath Michael Moore’s buttox.
Also, no one calls Al Gore “Albert” except for his mother. Do you think you’re his mother, Walt? You need help.
Finally, third parties are full of deluded nuts. Didn’t you get the memo?
> The world needs liberals, just as it needs conservatives. A fine balancing act
> should always be maintained; how unfortunate that the balance is off.
The world needs darkness just as it needs the light, and evil just as it needs good.
Still, I prefer one to the other.
> I suggest you look into what liberal really means; look it up in a dictionary if
> you have to.
According to my modern dictionary, liberal is defined as “pompous douche bag.” Seems about right.
> It may educate you,
The dictionary is always educating. Did you know that “retarded” comes from Old French?
> or it may leave you feeling confused,
If I get confused by a dictionary, I’ll just look up what “dictionary” means.
> but either way may of the things you’ve said are un-American, fascist (really,
> look it up), and on the verge of being racist.
Webster’s Dictionary defines “fascist” as “the process of removing weeds from a garden.” What I’ve found, though, is that people who throw around the term “fascist” should look at themselves and see if they are the ones who actually are “removing weeds from a garden.”
Oh, and I am racist. I hate whatever race you happen to be, you stupid [insert appropriate racial epithet here].
> Additional: Most new voters are liberal,
And tards.
> and they’ll grow up and replace everyone else eventually.
While getting jobs and thus stop being tards out of necessity.
> If your in this young voters age group, I do believe you’re the minority; and
> you may very well be witnessing the next surg in liberal thinking and ideals in
> this country.
That’s okay; I have guns.
> I suggest you move to Mexico… or China.
Only after they’re conquered by America and have Taco Bells in short driving distances. And don’t tell me authentic Mexican food is better; I want my Taco Bell!
> They’ll be the only countries open to you; and if you don’t like that, follow my
> advice: crawl into a ditch, cradle yourself, bring your knees up under your
> chin, and die.
Now you’re stealing from me. So bereft of your own ideas, you have to revert to plagiarism. Tsk tsk.
> Sincerely: Walter Schneider
>
> PS. Why don’t you report me to the local government office claiming un-
> American activities.
I report everyone who slightly differs from my viewpoint. As Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can prevent terrorism.”
Don’t worry; the government agents won’t bother you. They like to spy on you surreptitiously until they finally grab you and drag you off to Gitmo.
Anyway, thanks for playing, Walt. Next time, try proofreading combined with a spellchecker before hitting send; maybe your next letter will then be a bit less “rectorial.” As for the content of what you’re trying to say, there’s no quick fix for that.
Cordially,
Frank J.
http://imao.us
P.S. I just used that new-fangled dictionary and looked up “rectorial.” Ends up it is a word that mean “Pertaining to a rector or a rectory.” I thought it pertained to a rect-something else based on your usage.
Ain’t e-mail grand? (that’s a rhetorical question)
What a Doofus…
hehe hehe
You said ‘rectoral’
hehe hehe.
it’s cool when you stuff trolls with their own stupid, baste in sarcasm, and broil.
I still like mine raw.
The problem with posting dumb emails is that it encourages more idiots to write in. I guess Frank is just a masochist. Hey, you can look that one up too!
You have hit a new level in hipocracy Frank. Accusing this nimrod Walter of palgiarizing you, a few sentences after you once again stole a line from Homer Simpson.
I actually stole from the Simpsons twice, but the Homer line only makes sense if you’ve seen the episode it’s from.
How does ole Walt manage to turn his computer on in the morning, or does his Mommy do that for him after warmin’ up his Pop Tarts for him…….?
Bravo, Frank. Excellent fisk.
“That’s okay; I have guns.”
🙂
Speaking of moonbats, Frank, are you going to comment on the recently started PETA campaign called The Fish Empathy Project? I’m sure they could use some rectorial questions.
You can tell old Walt is a liberal–he can’t spell or punctuate. (Obviously a product of public schools–maybe his parents should have used a voucher to send him to a school that would have taught him how to spell.)
“Palgiarizing?!” (Scott’s word, not mine.) Frank, that may be what you are doing, if you used a line from a show you like. You’d be their pal if you could, so you PALGIARIZED a phrase from your new pals, the Simpsons.
you rock frank, if i lived a tad closer to you, i would ask you to ask me to marry you.
I thought you were far too nice to Walter. Perhaps you are getting soft Frank.
As far as most young voters being liberals…yeah, what’s the news flash there?
young people who do not keep up with current events, get any news they do see from “The Daily Show” and let Hollywood nimrods and retards with names like P. Diddy tell them what’s going on and how they should think, how to be cool and anti-establishment, tend to be liberals. BRILLIANT!
I was a liberal too, for a few years. I called them college. See, the liberals supported legalizing pot and pro-choice. At the time, I did not care about my taxes, or social security or my kid’s education or my national security. I wanted my weed and was occassionally worried about a girlfriend getting pregnant. So the libs were for me!
Then I GREW UP! Happens to all of us Walt. I do not worry about young liberals. Most wise up. However, Walt, you should worry about supporting a party that relies on the ignorant and uninformed for votes.
Not a winning formula in most cases you big ‘rectorial’ guy you.
AHHHHH! I’m about to be pushed over the edge by people who confuse your & you’re!!!
Your = belonging to you
You’re = contraction for “you are”
If you can’t remember Walt, read it, replacing the word with “you are”. If it sounds right, use “you’re.” If it sounds wrong, use “your.”
There, their, and they’re – I’ll rant about those some other time.
sorry about the double post– it told me to try to post again, something about fix the post and try again after a while.
“Most new voters are liberal”
Whose passenger seat would you rather be in on the freeway? A new driver, or …
ps: it’s “buttocks”, Frank 🙂
Beatnik,
If homophone errors gall you, you better flee this site while you can…
“That’s okay; I have guns.”
Heh.
That’s like…totally the “Gotcha last!” of gotcha lasts.
According to my modern dictionary, liberal is defined as “pompous douche bag.” Seems about right.
Whew! wipes forehead
I thought it was just my dictionary.
Great work, Frank. As usual, I laugh at the stupidity of liberals. I’m willing to bet that Walter is around the age of 35-40. With that being said, I’m only 20, and I think it’s quite comical that I endure far superior grammar skills than a man his age. Wait, nevermind, he’s a liberal; it doesn’t matter what age he is.
Later on,
Drew
Oh, yeah, it’s cold here in Florida.
Drew
I see walt’s making the rounds, eh. oh well, more entertainment for me.
“I’m a conundrum wrapped in a riddle and placed in an enigma” Considering we are talking about “rectorial” shouldn’t that be “placed in an enema”?
Just asking.
Wonderful Frank. Lets hope the moron keeps writing so you have fresh meat.
What about the Limey?
What is that little (expletive deleted) up to?
He should also learn the contraction of you and are is not “your”, which implies ownership.
stupid f*cktard.
Frank, your response is wonderful. But it makes me sad that there are actually people who think this way. Some of them are allowed to vote, and a few can even operate voting machines properly. Scary world.
I love it, yet at the same time hate it, when Democrats of all people rant about fascism. Uh, HELLO!!! Fascism pretty much means that the government is the most important thing in people’s lives. That’s exactly what the Democrats want! We know what fascism means; their common voters think it means “something really nasty that George W. Bush and his cronies want.”
But I sigh. What kind of rectorial twit would write something like this? (now THAT’S a rectorial question) Yes, we have four more years of tax cuts and dead terrorists; the trade-off is that we also have four more years of uninformed, loser-y statements from the America haters.
I prefer it this way, but it sure is annoying.
Of course, homophones are an important issue among conservatives!
Hahahahahahaha!!!
Smoky the Bear! I was wondering where he’d been! Now we learn he’s off on a secret mission fighting terrorism! Yay Smoky, and yay Frank J!
Your balance observation was also beautiful sniff
I just got back from the dentist and read this post….Thanks for the laugh!
I love the Weebl and Bob reference.
“I’m a conundrum wrapped in a riddle and placed in an enigma”
Or did they get that from somewhere else?
Sheesh – If conservatives were really fascist (I have been called that before) good ol’ Walt would have been taken out by the Evil Republican Stormtroopers….. think Empire stormtroopers, except with a GOP logo on their tummies, and were painted red, white and blue.
Liberals / Leftists / Commununists / Watermelons are the ones who promote degrees of facism, not conservatism!
– Government can tell you what car to buy due to environmental concerns
– Govt tells you what you can or cannot eat -fat tax
– Govt tells you what you can do on your own land
– Govt tells you whhat you can say (Political Correctness)
that kind of thing just to name a few. Sheesh!
Get a clue folks.
Republican stormtroopers would also be able to blast the rebel scum with a much greater degree of accuracy than their imperial counterparts.
Whew! You had me concerned for a fraction of a second that I mispelled “rhetorical”, when I commented on that monkey question, the other day. Thank gawd!
I’m so jealous. I dream of getting hate mail, like this. What’s your secret???
“Most new voters are liberal” Yeah, “until they got a job, moved out of their parents’ home and start to pay taxes.” (that’s Ann speaking, of course)
I didn’t think that such semi-retarded persons existed anymore. I understand that there are intelligent people and retarded people… but this retard actually attempted a rational thought (key word attempted) and even had the nuts (or was nuts) to try and email you with it. So B+ for effort, but F– for execution and product.
There are just so many things that one could potentially pick apart… maybe after he is not grounded anymore he’ll be allowed to go outside and we won’t have to deal with anymore email from him for awhile.
Either that or he’s an uneducated frustrated dem somewhere in his mid 30’s and very frustrated with his current social status (outcast).
Either way his outlook is bleak.
Ahhhhh! The grammar makes me wince! What is this guy, a 12 year old in special ed?
Scott,
According to my dictionary (Feline’s Collegiate, 9th Edition), “hipocracy” refers to a system of government characterized by either 1) rule by the “hip” crowd, or 2) rule by a species of large river-dwelling herbovores.
Seems like Oliver Willis’ kryptonite hasn’t reached this guy yet. Oh, that’s right, kryptonite, like liberal logic, only exists in the world of fantasy.
In response to his comment about young people all being liberals, I’m 20 and the majority of my fiends and those I know extremely conservative. Mainly because we see how much liberals and their socialist views have jacked up our beloved country. I think you would find that there are a lot more conservatives in my age group than a lot of people want to admit. This, I believe, really made a difference in the last election because a lot of new voters came on to the scene this election and they didn’t vote for Kerry.
Hey, who’s this fake “Scott” giving Frank a hard time and handing out misspellings faster than a Hare Krishna hands out flyers?
The Real Scott performs Frank’s IMAO for the Non-Deaf. This fake “Scott” is probably from France and is no friend of IMAO…
Ah, yes, the delusional statement:
The troll doesn’t comprehend the “Roe Effect.”
Readers of the WSJ Best of The Web, by James Taranto will be familiar with this.
In short, since liberals are so much more likely to abort their progeny, the past generation is much more likely to come from conservative families. Sometimes, I actually like the law of unintended consequences.
Admit that you made it up Frank! Real liberals are not nearly this funny!
bwahahahaha Frank J rox.
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Young voters have generally alwasy been more lib-leaning, then they get jobs/start paying taxes and only the more insane or enlightened, read “isolated from reality”, remain.
Sorry, wasn’t looking closely enough, whoops. 😮