Everyone these days hates terrorists, but most people don’t know what they can personally do to help kill terrorists. Since I’m here to help, here are some tips.
FRANK IDEAS TO HELP FIGHT TERRORISM
* Stand outside a mosque and do the “I’m watching you” hand signal to anyone entering or exiting.
* If you see anyone who looks Arab on a flight, report it to the captain.
* Wear a “Terrorists should die; ask me why” button. (available soon from the IMAO store)
* Report any suspicious, terrorist-like activity — such as reading the New York Times — to the FBI.
* If you run a restaurant, make sure all items have bacon in them to keep away terrorists.
* When visiting neighbors, check their bookshelves for a Koran. If one is spotted, immediately flee and call the police.
* If you hear someone speaking French, punch him in the face. Speaking French may not help terrorists, but it sure seems like support of terrorism.
* When leaving a parking lot, checks underneath your car and the cars next to you for a bomb. If you see anything you don’t recognize, leave a note on the person’s car saying, “You have a bomb.” Make sure to put a smiley face on the note since you’re being helpful.
* If you see a reporter, beat him with any nearby blunt object. He was probably about to do a news report that would embolden terrorists.
* If you see a terrorist, kill him.
If you have other ideas, put them in the comments.
Remember: Only you can prevent terrorism.
Report any suspicious, terrorist-like activity — such as reading the New York Times
That should also be “such as writing for the New York Times”.
If your car breaks down in a predominantly terrorist neighborhood, whip
out your notepad and pretend to be a journalist working for CBS.
Tell them that they are strikingly handsome and applaud their sense of style.
I think a good way to keep terrorists off of airplanes would be to put a bunch of snakes on the planes. I bet terrorists don’t like snakes.
If confronted with a suicide bomber, convince them that if they kill us
in the same bomb blast, then we will also go to heaven because we are
dying in a jihad war right along with them. If they don’t want sloppy
seconds on the 72 virgins (and I do mean SLOPPY seconds), then they
should just go ahead and kill themselves first.
I say we hunt down folks like the mfl critter, babbles, Jane Fonda and other trolls, and forcibly ship them to Iran, Syria, and other anit-reality countries. The the plan being that once the trolls are “integrated” into these moronic societies, the extremists will be so disenhearted by the trolls’ vitriolic attitudes they will lay down their arms in despair…that or they’ll violently send the trolls to Allah. Either way it’s win/win for the US.
Carry a ten pound hard salami on all flights to beat them with (the pork will add a bigger dread to them).
Wear an ” I Bathe with Swines ” T-shirt and get in peoples space, anyone keeping their distance should be photographed, send email to FBI.
Be on the lookout for anyone praying toward mecca.
All in-flight meals to be replaced with ham sandwiches.
All security measures at airport checkpoints replaced with a simple observed consumption of one strip of tasty cooked bacon.
These two measures should utterly eliminate any kind of air terrorism. Sorry Jews, you’ll have to take a bus or a boat, in the interest of national security 🙂
Knave… good idea but Jews shouldn’t be punished for being Jews.
What is something that Jews can eat but terrorists can’t? Kosher Hot Dogs… yum.
So we’ll have a nice selection of bacon and kosher hot dogs that everyone will have to partake in before getting on the flight.
Sorry vegetarians… National Security and all that jazz.
Put up signs that point ever which way that say, “This way to Mecca”.
Kill the ones that look confused in a really angry way.
Pack bacon grease into your hollowpoints so that when you kill them it doesn’t count as martyrdom.
Plus, you get that yummy bacon smell with every shot!
Make a bunch of stickers out of the “Mohamed” cartoons and put them in all airport urinals.
Then tell everyone going through airport security that a urine sample is needed. When a potential terrorist sees the prophet’s urine soaked likeness they’ll go ballistic and either prematurely trigger the explosive devise or rant so loud and crazy like that they’ll violate SOME law and allow security to beat…er…arrest them.
Have a “Terrorists eat free” night at Denny’s. When someone claims the free meal put a large “I ate free” sticker over their heart as they leave. Once they walk out of the restaurant, Marine snipers put a round right through the “t” on the sticker.
Starfox,
If they don’t want to eat either of the meats, then offer them a carrot from a bag that’s plainly marked “Product of Israel” on the front.
It is easier to use Bacos to pack into your hollow points you silly infidels. Do not use the bacon substitute ones or we will still go to paradise. You could also establish an anti-terrorist curriculum in your kindergartens and teach those cute little tykes to hate and despise all muslims. This would necessitate carrying on the program into elementary school but hey, it works, believe me. Then of course you would have to sacrifice your children when they are old enough to walk and set off explosives. Children, they blow up so fast these days! Oh, teach them to say “Allah Allah oxen free” as they blow themselves up. You have to have a catch phrase, it is the rules.
Doo wop, doo wop.
ramses… You see the the main difference with us “silly infidels” is we don’t need to resort to the shameful practice of human bombs….we have marines
shimauma,
You are my hero today. Do you think we could get them (lib wacko’s) to pay their own way? Maybe we could get the entire entity that is Hollyweird to go as a “special deal.” The actors and actresses left would be the ones who understand what this country is about and be willing and thankful to work within the rules of a civilized society.
Jane Fonda and Babs Striesand in Burkas. I’d pay a lot to see that picture.
Report any suspicious, terrorist-like activity — such as reading the New York Times
or living in San Francisco, Berkeley, Santa Cruz, or maybe Palo Alto, or reading the San Francisco Chronicle
or listening to NPR
Actually, I believe in the 72 virgins theory – but they will probably be catholic nuns.
Fred
I’ve always wondered why, when the Libtards visit the foreign countries they love so much, the bring a contingent of bodyguards. Seems a tad disingenuous to me.
Sent a bunch of redneck hillbillies from shitty little ass-juice southern states over to the Middle East to kill all Muslims. They will fail by attrition, but it’s worth a shot and will make America a better place by getting rid of the sludge.
Since Timothy McVeigh was a Christian, should we also stand outside churches making a “we’re watching you” hand sign?
That’s not how profiling works Tom, there must be something behind your stereotype for it to be effective. How many Christian blew themselves up last year?
Tom-
I don’t know where people come up with Timothy McVeigh being a Christian. Is it because he was white? That’s pretty racist. He was a neo-nazi anti-government terrorist, but not a Christian terrorist. No one even called him a “Christian terrorist” until after 9/11 as some sort of moral equivalence with the muslim terrorists of that day.
See this link:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/777090/posts
Put up some concrete evidence that his motives were driven by Christianity, or stop propagating this slander.
At the ATM, you always have that little question – Would you like to make another transaction? Put up another question – Would you like to rid the world of Zionism? Anybody that chooses yes can then be beaten, stabbed and drowned, and the ATM can shred their card for them too.
How many Christian blew themselves up last year? Well, there was Delay.
Fred
And “The Duke” Cunning-Ham
Fred
//Maybe we could get the entire entity that is Hollyweird to go as a “special deal.” //
Well they keep promising to leave everytime a conservative is elected to office, but they never follow through, point being, rich, limousine libtards are generally all talk, and no action, at least not where anything good is concerned.
They’d fit in well with the rich ruling house arabs that say they want peace in the middle east while financing islamoterrorist factions on the sly.
Sorry, I went on a rant. This column was about fighting terrorism. I’m gonna help fight terrorism by praying for God to make my brother, Billy Dee the colorblind demolitions Marine, invincible and accurate.
Oh, I forgot to mention Mel Gibson, another famous christian that blew himself up.
Fred
Ummm…remember when Bush said God told him to invade Iraq. Ya, well that is a Christian killing thousands in the name of God. He is even killing our countries own sons in the name of God. Whether you agree with the war or not. It is just as looney to claim God told you to invade Iraq as it is to be a terrorist in the name of Allah.
Heathen,
That only works if you make them work under too many restrictions. If you allow them to do it no questions asked, and open arsenals, then there is no more middle-east problem, and lots of new open real estate when the neutron bombs have dissipated their radiation in only five years.
Wait, Wait, lots of christians are blowing themselves up: like Senator “Macaca” George Allen and Senator “Firefighter” Burns of Montana. And and look at Katie “We Win” Harris of Florida (I mean look at those things).
Lets give them some credit people – now if we could only get them all to Iraq to show those people we have exploding patriots too!
Fred