Or any of your friends who are part of the Zionist Conspiracy for that matter.
One of these.
It, I dunno, just works on so many levels doesn’t it?

A lot of you have been wondering why I haven’t said anything about Israel buying two more Dolphin-class submarines from the Germans.
Well, aside from the fact that the Zionist Conspiracy would have me rubbed out as a traitor, there is now the problem of Paul McCartney wanting to rub me out, too…

Continue reading ‘We all live in a Jewish submarine’ »

Nope:

Jessica Lynch, the former prisoner of war whose 2003 rescue in Iraq made her an instant celebrity, is pregnant.
She and boyfriend Wes Robinson are expecting their first child in January, publicist Aly Goodwin Gregg said Thursday.

Having babies out of wedlock… yeah, I’d say she’s adjusted back into West Virginian civilian life.

Tiny monkeys!
Now nowhere is safe from monkey terror! They could be hiding in your pocket or in your coffee mug!
Soon they will be so small they’ll invade your bloodstream!
Make sure to write your congressman that you want a ban on these “Saturday-night special” monkeys before it’s too late.
(hat tip: everyone)

Did you know there were such things as bomb recycling plants?

At least 10 explosions rocked a bomb recycling plant in northwestern Louisiana today, forcing the evacuation of at least 600 students from two schools and more than 400 prisoners from a jail, authorities said.
No serious injuries or deaths were reported.

What do they recycle bombs into?

Continue reading ‘I bet this joke bombs…’ »

The Bombay/Mumbai restaurant that glorified Hitler will be changing its name soon:

A restaurant named after Adolf Hitler that enraged Bombay’s Jewish community will soon have a new monicker, its owner promised Thursday.
Puneet Sablok said he would remove Hitler’s name and the Nazi swastika from billboards and the eatery’s menu since it had angered so many people. He had previously said the name and symbols were only meant to attract attention.
“Yes, I have decided to change the name. I never wanted to hurt people’s feelings,” said Sablok, who made the decision after meeting with members from Bombay’s small Jewish community. He did not say what the new name would be.

So, what Jew-hater should he name it after now?

Continue reading ‘Hitler’s Cross needs a new name!’ »

Pluto has been stripped of its planet status. All you’ve been taught in your youth has been rendered invalid by cold-hearted astronomers.
I demand vengeance!
Vengeance for Pluto!
…Even though it is quite small!
Who’s with me?