We need to pray for Fidel. I for one am going to pray that nothing happens to him during his surgery. Nothing at all.
They just carefully open him up. Then nothing. Nothing at all happens for a few hours.
C’mon guys, please. This is a human being we are talking about. Someone who is revered as the father of his country. Freeing his people from the shackles of a corrupt Batista government that took advantage of his people. You know, the type of father who is fair but firm. If it is necessary to kill one of his children, so be it. The type of father who will ground a good number of his children for years if necessary. A father that hordes all the rsources since he does not have enough for all his children. I mean, a father can’t show favorites, can he? No, Fidel is like a Latin Hugh Beaumont, you know, the Beaver’s dad on television. Fidel “el Wardo” Castro. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I wonder what Fidel has been doing to al the “Beavers” in his country.
But I digress. As el Jefe goes under the knife, you may want to say a prayer, like “Dear Lord, damn those beavers, damn them”.
No, Frank, not a Junior Mint. It’s refreshing and delicious, and would likely make him all better. What he needs is several pounds of C4 packed in his abdomen set do detonate when all his admirers come to his bedside for a vigil. We could eliminate quite a few notables, Chavez, Mother Sheehan, Jimmuh, and if we’re lucky, Maw Mood Ahmadinnerjacket. Ah, sweet justice…
I’ve always been a fan of using one problem to solve another problem.
Problem 1.: Nuclear Waste. Our glorious nuclear power plants produce not-fun waste products that must be disposed of. The problem is that no one wants it disposed of near them.
Problem 2.: Castro is still alive, even though he’s on an operating table with his chest wide open.
Solution: Stuff Castro with as much nuclear waste as we can fit into his diseased chest cavity. This helps alieviate problem 1 (even if only slightly), while solving problem 2 (or at least irradiating it, which is ususally the same thing.)
Oh no, no, Rick, we can’t waste valuable toxic waste on an already nearly dead Casty! It’s got to be something amusing, yet useless, like Cuba in all current world affairs… an extended metaphor, if you will… perhaps a McDonald’s toy, like a lttle Superman action figure with only one moving arm, as if to say, “F You, compliments of Superman and the American economy, you faggot commie.”
Or maybe a taped episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. And it has to be a VHS tape. Amusing and useless.
” I know what I’d have done to all the beavers had I been a brutal dictator.
Posted by fmragtops at August 1, 2006 01:22 PM”
You are a naughty, naughty person, fm. But I do agree with you. We ARE talking about socialized damn-building projects, right…?
ZK-
Castro is already a supervillian, so giving him superpowers would just be redundant. In any event, if that were to happen, all we’d have to do is sic Chuck Norris on him.
Well, that is what happens with socialized medicine sometimes. Let’s hope the doctors go on break!
But maybe something could fall in. I’ll pray for that. Something cool. Like a match. Or a banana. Ha.
C’mon guys, please. This is a human being we are talking about. Someone who is revered as the father of his country. Freeing his people from the shackles of a corrupt Batista government that took advantage of his people. You know, the type of father who is fair but firm. If it is necessary to kill one of his children, so be it. The type of father who will ground a good number of his children for years if necessary. A father that hordes all the rsources since he does not have enough for all his children. I mean, a father can’t show favorites, can he? No, Fidel is like a Latin Hugh Beaumont, you know, the Beaver’s dad on television. Fidel “el Wardo” Castro. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I wonder what Fidel has been doing to al the “Beavers” in his country.
But I digress. As el Jefe goes under the knife, you may want to say a prayer, like “Dear Lord, damn those beavers, damn them”.
GT,
Maybe a Junior Mint.
I know what I’d have done to all the beavers had I been a brutal dictator.
No, Frank, not a Junior Mint. It’s refreshing and delicious, and would likely make him all better. What he needs is several pounds of C4 packed in his abdomen set do detonate when all his admirers come to his bedside for a vigil. We could eliminate quite a few notables, Chavez, Mother Sheehan, Jimmuh, and if we’re lucky, Maw Mood Ahmadinnerjacket. Ah, sweet justice…
Did Castro ever paint any triangle art? Maybe we should invest.
I’m with Paleo! Maybe Babwa wawa too!
I’ve always been a fan of using one problem to solve another problem.
Problem 1.: Nuclear Waste. Our glorious nuclear power plants produce not-fun waste products that must be disposed of. The problem is that no one wants it disposed of near them.
Problem 2.: Castro is still alive, even though he’s on an operating table with his chest wide open.
Solution: Stuff Castro with as much nuclear waste as we can fit into his diseased chest cavity. This helps alieviate problem 1 (even if only slightly), while solving problem 2 (or at least irradiating it, which is ususally the same thing.)
Oh no, no, Rick, we can’t waste valuable toxic waste on an already nearly dead Casty! It’s got to be something amusing, yet useless, like Cuba in all current world affairs… an extended metaphor, if you will… perhaps a McDonald’s toy, like a lttle Superman action figure with only one moving arm, as if to say, “F You, compliments of Superman and the American economy, you faggot commie.”
Or maybe a taped episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. And it has to be a VHS tape. Amusing and useless.
I just wonder whether it’s really going to be any better for Cubans when he’s gone. It sure didn’t work that way in North Korea.
” I know what I’d have done to all the beavers had I been a brutal dictator.
Posted by fmragtops at August 1, 2006 01:22 PM”
You are a naughty, naughty person, fm. But I do agree with you. We ARE talking about socialized damn-building projects, right…?
Rick: Good idea, in theory, but what if Castro ends up getting superpowers?
how about Ed Asner, let’s stuff ed in his beloved’s chest.
ZK-
Castro is already a supervillian, so giving him superpowers would just be redundant. In any event, if that were to happen, all we’d have to do is sic Chuck Norris on him.