This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested.
They’re rebuilding the monkey house!
How can this be? I even used hidden speakers and squibs to make them think the place was haunted. Still, there they go rebuilding it.
Thus, the wife and I have been quite busy painting the house and getting it ready to sell. We’re going to move to Texas where there are many laws on the books regulating how close a monkey house can be to residential areas.
Painting is a pain. It’s not the painting so much as the prep work such as the taping and the drop cloths. And then little things are always coming up and needing to be fixed. It seems like we’ll never be done and away from the monkeys.
And then there’s those trips to the hardware store. I was rushing to get to Home Depot before it closed when someone jumped on my hood. “We need to talk!”
Batman! “Like hell we do.” I maneuvered the car to ram into a telephone poll, but he jumped off just before the collision.
Bruised and battered I struggled to get out of the car, but then hand gabbed me and yanked me out. “They’re still investigating you about Aquaman’s disappearance!” Batman yelled at me.
“I don’t have time for this; Home Depot closes in fifteen minutes.” I came at him with an uppercut. He dodged and socked me in the gut. I ignored the pain and took the open shot at his head. He kicked me, knocking me to the ground, but I had what I needed: His grappling gun.
I fired it at a truck that raced by and zipped myself to it, grabbing hold of the back. “Goodbye, Bat… stupid!” I yelled at Batman (I really need to write those sorts of lines ahead of time).
I got to Home Depot and got a new can of orange peel texture spray just before it closed. I then had to call SarahK for a ride back and sent a tow truck for my car the next morning. Stupid Batman. I wonder what he wanted?
So you think you can just move to Texas and get away from the monkeys?
A 1997 National Geographic documentary, Snow Monkeys of Texas, directed by UT professor and filmmaker Richard Lewis, would later confirm that all through the fall 1995 hunting season, would-be big-game hunters were coming into the nearby towns of Dilley and Millet, searching for guided monkey hunts, monkey tags, a monkey lease, monkey ranches, or just anybody willing to let them bag a monkey.
But as the winter months slowly passed, the animals remained safe, and the primate protectors began to breathe easier. It was the last week, and then the last day, of hunting season. And then –
On the final day of the 1995-96 hunting season, the four snow monkeys were shot. They had survived into a second generation as refugees from a sprawling suburb on the other side of the world, but they made the mistake of crossing a fence line in Texas. Five San Antonio hunters, described as guests of guests of people with a hunting lease, were the suspected villains, but for lack of evidence, no charges were ever filed. Too late to help Missy and her mates, TPWD spokespeople finally clarified the legal status of refuge primates. You can’t shoot someone else’s animals. ***You can’t shoot a trespassing monkey. There is no monkey hunting in Texas. ***
The martyred monkeys didn’t die entirely in vain. The shooting led entertainer Wayne Newton to San Antonio for a fundraiser. Other people gave cash and their time. From its small beginnings in Texas, the primate refuge movement has grown nationwide. Shortly after the shootings, the snow monkeys were able to move to a larger and more secure facility — now known as the Animal Protection Institute Primate Sanctuary — where they live to this day.
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Issue/story?oid=oid%3A283057
We’re going to move to Texas where there are many laws on the books regulating how close a monkey house can be to residential areas.
I’m looking forward to your arrival…I will enjoy making your transition here…pleasant. leer
Sounds like you got your ass kicked by the very homo bat man! Sad day for IMAO readers…sigh:(
You might wanna watch out, the way this guy is acting… I wouldn’t be surprised if someone is trying to set you AND Batman up.
You can get orange peel paint in a can? Speaking of Florida and orange peels, while in Pompano Beach visiting my Dad I saw a 300lb woman thing in a thong… couldn’t even think about orange peels for many years afterward. Children running and screaming while passerby’s tried to push her back into the ocean, horrible just horrible.