In Hillary’s Arrogant Opinion

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Panicky pig in a pantsuit Hillary Clinton poured another 100 gallons of stupid into the bubbling cauldron of her campaign’s retarded soundbites by floating the notion that “we should have bloggers inside government agencies so that people get real-time information about what’s going on.”
It’s bad enough bloggers have a reputation as one-hand-typing, basement-dwelling, pajama-clad ignorant windbags of hate and irresponsiblity, but now she wants to add “cronyfied government tools” to the list.
Nothing – save the blithering one-thought echo-chamber of the Huffington Post – offends my sensibilities as a freelance beholdin’ to no-one speechifier more than the thought of the actual existence of an official government mouthpiece biting the nipple off the blogospheric bastion of anarchy at which I daily and enthusiastically give suck.
Still, since bad things DO happen to good people, the day may come when a blogger DOES get put into a government agency (which I assume is just a Clintonesque euphemism for “Super Happy Lucky Fun Re-education Camp”). Thus, I wonder aloud, “what will this dreary, Hillary-mandated outlet of 1984tastic goodspeakisms be titled?”
And answer myself thusly:

  • PravdaPundit
  • Winston Smith’s Daily Journal
  • Not Lying Because I’m Not Under Oath
  • Freedom! Horrible, Horrible Freedom!
  • I’m From the Government and I’m Here to Blog You
  • Ministry of Truthiness
  • ‘Status Quo’ is the New ‘Change’
  • Should’ve Listened to Ron Paul!
    Hey! How’d THAT one get in there?
  • Cankling to Prosperity
  • Sanitized For Your Protection
  • Your Tax Dollars Hard at Work Instead of Squandered on the Frivilous Crap YOU Had Your Eye On

And, of course, the obligatory witty tagline:
“Doing the Truth Like the DMV Does Customer Service”
Anyway, that’s just me. What would YOUR official Happy Camp blog be called?

59 Comments

  10. Hillary hopes the blogosphere will give her a pass and attack Obama in hopes of becoming a member of her staff.
    If you are real nice to Hillary in your blogs, a high-paid position in Washington may be yours!

    Reply to this comment

  15. KYFG (kiss your freedom good bye)
    Prostitution Central -it’s not just about sex anymore
    Oberman’s Oversight- The gatekeeper is in the house
    Coffee Break – doing on line what government workers really do all day long, on your tax dollars
    CHAOS -almost as competent as on the Get Smart TV, but paid for by you

    Reply to this comment

  21. There is already at least one government blog. It makes me sad when blogs like this one don’t know the facts. Note to this blog: Please do not make me sad again or I will leave. There are plenty of other blogs to read where the bloggers actually know things.
    blogs.state.gov

    Reply to this comment

  22. notbiasedatall.com
    “Just because we pay them doesn’t mean we control them”
    Seriusly, wouldn’t the government workers hate the fact that bloggers were getting paid more than them to do nothing more than criticize everything they do?
    Imagine if there was just one guy at your job whose sole job was to screw everything up for you. Now imagine if he was your subordinate. Those poor bloggers would go home every day black-and-blue.

    Reply to this comment

  23. Nothing – save the blithering one-thought echo-chamber of the Huffington Post – offends my sensibilities as a freelance beholdin’ to no-one speechifier more than the thought of the actual existence of an official government mouthpiece biting the nipple off the blogospheric bastion of anarchy at which I daily and enthusiastically give suck.
    That there, sir, is one helluva sentence.

    Reply to this comment

  26. Nate = sad = leave. OK.
    Because I proved without a shadow of a doubt that the blogger who wrote this post is ignorant about what is going on it politics you think I should go? All other online pundits know that there was already a government blog. It is common knowledge. The State Department blog has been around for months. You should all be very, very sad that this blogger was so uninformed.
    I say we give this blogger a chance to correct the post and fix his error. That’s what most bloggers do when it is pointed out that they have overlooked something huge like missing the fact that there was already a political blog.

    Reply to this comment

  28. I say we give this blogger a chance to correct the post and fix his error. That’s what most bloggers do when it is pointed out that they have overlooked something huge like missing the fact that there was already a political blog.
    #26 – Posted by: Nate on January 30, 2008 04:00 PM
    Um, I’m not really sure if he was pointing out that there was never a political/government blog before. I think he was just pointing out the scary fact that Hellary may want it to be a larger entity (and possibly have more influence) than current diarrhea-of-the-mouth bloggers already do. I could be wrong. Either way, simmer down.
    Note: I actually did not mean to spell Hillary’s name that way, but now that I have, I will leave it. Freudian slip?

    Reply to this comment

  30. Oh come on; it’s a joke, Nate. If you were coming here for up-to-the-minute news, then I believe you missed the point. Whereas this blog in particular is more accurate than, say, the NYT, that’s really just a side effect of the parodies.
    I think we’re all aware that political & gov’t blogs abound. I made a joke about Amanda Marcotte’s cluster f*ck of a blog for the John Edwards campaign; if you check IMAO’s archives from around this time last year, you might begin to get it.
    Seriously, if this is really making you sad, I suggest you hit this link.

    Reply to this comment

  31. Oh come on; it’s a joke, Nate. If you were coming here for up-to-the-minute news, then I believe you missed the point. Whereas this blog in particular is more accurate than, say, the NYT, that’s really just a side effect of the parodies.
    Ok, I will try and just enjoy the humor of it. The NYT is far more accurate than this blog. The NYT is one of the greatest newspapers on the planet. They have great writers just like the Wall Street Journal. I enjoy reading these newspapers. It makes me happy to do so.

    Reply to this comment

  34. OK, Nate just achieved “Troll”. Congrats, Nate! You’re the first one ever!
    What does this mean? You think I’m a troll and the first troll here ever? That seems unlikely. Normally, I like factual blogs and blogs that are well-written. I was only trying to help by pointing out that there is already a State department blog so maybe Hillary’s idea is not as unique as she thinks it is. It would be unique to have a blog for every government department. I think this would be remarkable to have 100s of government blogs.

    Reply to this comment

  39. I’m surprised that some people still don’t realize that this blog is an official U.S. Government Blog, which is designated by the URL extension (.US).
    No.
    .us is the Internet country code top-level domain (ccTLD) for the United States, established in 1985. Registrants of .us domains must be United States citizens, residents, or organizations, or a foreign entity with a presence in the United States. Most registrants in the country have registered for .com, .net, .org and other gTLDs, rather than .us, which has traditionally primarily been used by many state and local governments (although any entity had the option of registering a .us domain). In particular, the domains .gov and .mil have been reserved for U.S. usage.
    The original administrator of .us was Jon Postel of the Information Sciences Institute at the University of Southern California. He administrated .us under a sub-contract USC/ISI had from SRI International (who held the .us and the Generic top-level domains contract with the United States Department of Defense) and later Network Solutions (who held the .us and the Generic top-level domains contract with the National Science Foundation). Registrants could only register third-level domains or higher in a geographic and organizational hierarchy. The vast majority of the geographic sub-domains in .us were delegated to various private entities and .us registrants would register with the delegated administrator for the level they wished to register in, not directly with the .us administrator. However, from April 2002, second-level domains became available for registration. The .us domain is currently administered by NeuStar Inc. under a United States Department of Commerce contract.
    Since the official release of .us as a second-level domain, it has been adopted and developed by a number of private corporations and local citizenry. The .us country code is no longer in the exclusive realm of only governmental agencies.

    Reply to this comment

  43. #17: Damn, Alan, ya beat me to it.
    Oh, and my Jedi senses are telling me Nate’s a froll. True, a person can be that much of an airhead, but even ‘progressives’ can’t type ‘ZOMG TEH NYT IZ TEH BESTEST PAPR EVAR!!1!1!one!!’ with a straight face. Not a bad parody of a pot-addled moonbat, though.

    Reply to this comment

  46. Nate – since you want my attention so badly, you now have it.
    I wrote this piece to make a point. The information in any official government blog must, like the information in any official government news outlet, be screened, controlled, and approved by the government.
    Such chilled speech adds nothing to the blogospheric conversation.
    Personally, I believe the dry, dull, sanitized content of the State Department blog illustrates my point perfectly.

    Reply to this comment

  49. Personally, I believe the dry, dull, sanitized content of the State Department blog illustrates my point perfectly.
    That’s a good point. I suppose Dipnote is kind of boring.
    Son of Bob – Same color I wear to bed at night – naked.
    That’s a bad idea. The bedbug problem is spreading in the United States. Some common advice in fighting bedbugs is to wear nightclothes that cover as much skin as possible. Going naked exposes much more vulnerable areas of the body to a bedbug attack. It isn’t just bedbugs either. One does not really even want to think of what kind of insect might attack and where such an insect might go if you are not wearing your nightclothes.

    Reply to this comment

  51. Who took Nate’s stapler? C’mon, ‘fess up, whoever did it. He’s down in the basement behind that bunch of boxes that came in, and he’s getin’ pretty mad…he might…he might just…just wait…he’s gonna…he’s probably gonna…

    Reply to this comment

  54. Y’all grandma says stop feeding the trolls and they will go away.
    If your hear looking for “facts” please go bother the folks at Kos. They pretend everything they write is “fact”. As was said previously the facts are only incidental to “hte funny”. That’s the point of parody, it takes a tenuous fact and squeezes it until it’s funny.
    Me I get my news from other sources (don’t be offended Frank). Before I decide to end it all, due to the stupidity and shear maliciousness of most human beings, I come here. That usually helps me to regain perspective. So I see this blog as a public service. Saving lives every day. Way to go folks. Even Hitlery can’t claim that.

    Reply to this comment

  56. * I’m From the Government and I’m Here to Blog You
    * Ministry of Truthiness
    Darling Harvey, would you mind if I use one of these for my forthcoming blog? (On a personal site with a .us address, no less. I think .com is kind of over for personal blogs/sites.) I’ll link back here.
    Ah, sometimes the comments are almost as funny as the posts.

    Reply to this comment

  58. #44, I think this is where I started giggling:

    The NYT is one of the greatest newspapers on the planet. They have great writers just like the Wall Street Journal. I enjoy reading these newspapers. It makes me happy to do so.

    But he let the mask slip here:

    Normally, I like factual blogs and blogs that are well-written.

    He’s parodying the humourless, pseudo-intellectual trolls who come here without the understanding that this is actually a humour/satire blog. Pretty good effort, actually. Gold star!

    Reply to this comment

  59. employedenglishmajorsforvotes.org
    freefrommarketforces.gov
    redcanklediaries.com (subscription based)
    dudeyourtaxesjustwentupsoicanblog.irs.gov
    dontactuallytalktothetroops.mil
    whitehouse.com (oh wait…)

    Reply to this comment

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