The rumors of Obama being Muslim won’t go away, even though Obama has come out and assured the American people he is most definitively probably not a Muslim. Even Hillary has got to hinting at it, saying that Obama is not a Muslim… “as far as I know.”
Now, the problem is that if Obama protests too loudly, he’ll look like he’s being insensitive to the Muslim religion, and we know how Democrats hate being insensitive to crap like that. Here’s my idea: While making campaign stops at diners, make sure he always orders things with bacon in it. If that’s too subtle, he can say out loud while he eats, “Mmm! Tasty tasty bacon!” It’s a simple solution.
Unless it’s against his religion.
Anyway, this tip from the political genius of Frank J. is free of charge. If the Obama camp wants anymore, they’ll cost cash money.

Big O can attend BBQ a pig roast in Texas, partake of the BBQ, and wash it down with some good beer (Sam Adams and Dos XX come to mind). And finish the day with a double shot of single malt Scottish whiskey toast to Israel. That should put an end to all the speculation.
If it isn’t against his religion.
Utter genius – the simple use of one of the world’s great culinary delights to defend the realm.
Then he’ll risk alienating the all important vegan vote.
Maybe he could take turns downing tofu dogs and BLT sandwiches during his speeches, pass them around so that people will stop fainting at his rallies. He might end up looking like Bill Richardson by the time November rolls around though.
I hate to pop you bubble folks but megalomaniacs will do and say anything to get what they want.
All he has to convince himself of is that all of this is for the greater good. It’s all for the glory of ALLAH. If I were his wife (thank the stars that’s not the case, one of us wouldn’t survive long) I’d be very careful. Once his power is assured her butt will be dragging around a burka, those daughters of hers will be sold to some rich, old, diseased radical who brought them with either influence or money.
I have yet to understand how the left can miss the fact that radical muslim extremists and most other devote muslims believe in the subjugation of ALL women and the extermination of the infidel. This includes anyone of any religion that isn’t Islam and homosexuals of any and all stripe. Where exactly does Code Pink, NGLA, the ACLU, PETA and the rest think they fit under Sharia law. I’d be interested to know.
Always blow dry your hair. (Never get caught wearing that towel again.)
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/hillary.htm
Maybe Barack Obama is a closet Muslim. And one day during his Presidency, he’ll come out of the closet wearing a turbin and utter the words “Allah Akbar” at a press conference.
And maybe Hillary Clinton is a closet Satanist. And one day during her Presidency, she’ll come out of the closet wearing a set of horns and utter the words… “Ha ha ha ha ha ha…”
And maybe John McCain is a closet Republican. And one day during his Presidency he’ll come out of the closet and… drop dead… making Vice President Thompson the President.
For all I know.
#7 so funny
i can hear it now……”Who Knew!?”
News is been coming over the wire that Obama has decided to change his name to a more closely associated Western name to gain votes for the primary. He now is hoping more people will warm to his candidacy as Barrad Hussein Obama.
Barack Hussein Obama is not a Muslim, has never been a Muslim, and wouldn’t know a Muslim if one endorsed him for President.
Rut Roh Frank… i’m scared to check for more.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2007/09/25/obama-to-skip-another-iowa-event/
Kidding (cough)
Mmmmm Bacon.
One of my lifetime best ideas involves bacon:
Imagine a small booth very much like Lucy’s psychological help booth. From the booth drifts the wonderful smell of bacon. Above the booth is a banner:
“Bacon for Jesus”
Set that booth up in Bagdad, Gaza, any number of trouble spots.
Jimmy…”MAYBE” Hillary is a closet Satatist? Maybe I’m a heterosexual…H-e-l-l-o!!! Hillary tells Satan what to do and what not to do and Satan does not want to piss this woman off!
#7
Jimmy that was priceless. I love it.
#13
All the Jimmy’s are on the ball today.
Excellent gentlemen, just excellent.
That would make Satan a “Hillaryist,” ussjc. Hell, even Obama doesn’t want to piss her off. Did you see how he kissed her a$$ at the end of the last debate? I hollered into my empty house, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Maybe mccain is a closet Republican, and mccain-feingold is just his way of making sure no one ever finds out.
Um, you know, if Obama doesn’t eat bacon it could mean he’s a closet jew. Of course he won’t admit that either because he’d loose the far lefty and terrorist vote.
Your guys’ stuff was much funnier 4 years ago. It’s been a while since I was on the site….Oh well I don’t blame you making fun of John Kerry was a lot easier.