“We have an economic problem,” Barack Obama told a crowd in Pennsylvania, “and the way to handle it is–”
“You’re not wearing any pants!” someone in the crowd yelled out.
Obama looked as angry as he was pantsless. “That has nothing to do with the important issues people care about such as the economy and healthcare. It is a distraction to bring that up.”
“But shouldn’t you have pants?” another asked. “I mean, you have the suit jacket and everything up top, but you only have boxers on down below.”
“This is the problem with you people,” Obama said. “You keep getting distracted by non-issues. If you would just think for a minute, you’d realize your whole moral stick up on people needing to wear pants had nothing to do with the real problems affecting you. It’s quite sad; I was just telling my rich friends in San Francisco how I knew something like this would happen.”
“Did you forget to wear pants?” one of the crowd inquired.
Michelle Obama ran onto to stage and pointed an accusing finger at the crowd. “This is why I hate America! THIS IS WHY I HATE AMERICA!!”
“It’s okay dear.” Obama gently ushered her off stage. “I can handle this.” He turned to the crowd once more. “The Republicans want you to be distracted by this. They want you worrying whether people are wearing pants or not instead of whether you have jobs or access to hospitals. If you people were only a little smarter, you could see this.”
“I really think you should be wearing pants,” one person answered.
“I can’t help you people.” He stormed off stage.
President Bush sat in bed with his wife watching the Obama speech. “I don’t get it,” Bush said. “The Democrats have spent eight years complaining about how I’m all stupid or something, so you’d think they’d nominate someone smart.”
“Well, the Democrats aren’t smart, dear.”
Bush thought about that. “Oh yeah. Guess they wouldn’t know what smart actually looks like.”
Don’t you hate pants?
I was at that rally. It was not a pretty sight. I required trauma counseling afterward.
But as I remember it, he was caught with his pants down and he insisted that this was the way everyone was doing it now. “It’s false modesty to wear pants around your waist, when you’re wearing underwear, too.”, he said, but way classier than that. So the rest of the crowd, except for a few misfits, pulled down their pants and started repeating, droning really, “Pants are false modesty. Everyone is wearing them this way now. You’re the one who is out of touch. Pants are false …”
Weeks later, I still have to double-check my belt in the morning.
SING THE PRAISES OF PANTS!!!
It has an “emporer’s new clothes” feel to it and funny as usual. Well Done!
Mommy, why is that man not wearing any pants? Shhh, hon, B-ho is the empoorer. We don’t want to insult him or he may not empoor us.
Perhaps SNOBamahammed doesn’t need pants because he has nothing worth mentioning to cover up down there. No wonder Michelle is so bitter….
Well, #5, maybe the lower half is white genes with no jeans. Gee, according to his theories, that half must be bitter, frustrated and “typical.” Hmmm.
Good twist at the end with Bush
I invented pants.
Well now that the biggest required question from the left has been answered (boxers or briefs?), the debates with McCain ought to be a breeze.
I guess he really is chicago style: http://yellow5.com/pokey/archive/index382.html