So who would be a good VP… IMAO-wise? I mean, I would like to continue writing In My Worlds™, so I’ll need someone I can work with. I kinda like Condi because then every week could be a story about her secretly trying to off old man McCain so she can be president and nuke Finland.
What do you think?
Cheney!
Elliot Spitzer
Cynthia McKinney
Keith Oberman
Ron Paul
Ted Kennedy
Michelle Obama
Jeremiah Wright
Osama Bin Laden
Oprah
Dan Rather
John Kerry
Arnold Schwarzenegger. All you have to do is change a stupid law so he can run.
Then he would nuke…well, everyone.
Perfect for you, Frank.
Hmmm, from an IMW perspective?
Obviously you Frank. Imagine live-blogging the State of the Union speeches?
Or Aqua Man! Although he’d spend most of his time assaulting young male Secret Service agents so that would probably not be a good choice…
Bill Clinton? How perfect would that be! You would have Bubba back in the White House. His new job is “not worth a bucket of warm spit” so he has plenty of free time on his hands to do “his thing”… Great fodder for IMAO!
Shame on you, Frank. You of all people should know that Fred is the perfect choice in every single respect.
Pick someone that the Secretary of No Buggerin’ will like, too. You, know, someone he can “work with” and have a good time keeping in line, like Larry Craig. Then there’d be a renewal of tapping and tap dancing all across America. Just think of the rhythms!
I say he should pick me. I would make the White House interesting for everyone. Like launching a pretend nuke at China on April 1st.
The best person for McCain to pick, in Frank’s world?
Rosie O’Donnell.
Explanation of # 10, Donald Trump would have to be secretary of something, that way Frank could combine his love of celebrity gossip and in fighting with that of his love of political tom-foolery.
Ann Coulter
or
Newt Gingrich
or
Snoop Dog
Huckabee wouldn’t be bad, since he would always be trying to convert McCain from Satanism. Plus, he could say “SHAZAM!” a lot.
Fred! would be an obvious choice. The Rumsfeld Strangler could be replaced by the Thompson Decapitator.
Michael Steele would be OK, although McCain confusing him for the butler would get old after a while.
Pretty much anyone works as long as McCain has an occasional flashback involving them as someone else.
You should make W McCain’s veep. McCain taps W to make him his bitch in retaliation for the 2000 primaries.
I think we will get Felipe De Jesus Calderon. Why not have the current president of Mexico be our vice president? After a couple years of McCain’s open borders policy, we won’t be able to tell the diffrence.
Michelle Malkin
Ron Paul
Bono
Eliot Spitzer
SarahK
Obama (lots of good racist material there)
Albert Einstein
John Bolton
Karl Rove (is there anything that man can’t do?)
Jack Lelane
John Wayne, Bruce Willis, or Rambo
Anyone that makes “old man McCain” look young. Any old geezer on his deathbed will do. Like Tom Brokah.
You could run one for each candidate with a In My World: 2010, where they all have been Vice President for 2 years (with the exception of Condi, where she killed off McCain and declared herself Supreme Ruler of USW (United States of the World)), and see which ones work best for you.
I keep hoping that whoever he does pick, it’ll be somebody decent. Then when McCain goes in to one of his fits of fiery apoplectic rage and keels over from a heart attack, we’ll have a president that doesn’t suck!
I’m thinking the best choice would be Yoda!
1st: he would make McCain look younger
2nd: he could handle Iran by himself. That would be and awesome midgit on midgit scrap.
3rd: he is a worse public speaker than Pres. Bush.
How about in move to get us conservatives on his side, he digs up the corpse of fellow Arizona senator Berry Goldwater. That would be great. In your world Frank, people can ask Berry’s corpse questions, and make up their own answers, in which will usually piss off the questioner for their idiotic liberal stances.
McCain dies of a heart attack and the United States ushers in 10 years of prosperity under the guidance of Goldwater’s corpse.
I don’t know if she is still being concidered by McCain or not but Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin is hot.
I don’t know if she is still being concidered by McCain or not but Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin is hot.
I say stick with Condi. She’s blacker than Obama and more womanly than the Hildebeast so she has both the race and feminist vote locked up. Plus being single she can tell the Hildebeast at least she didn’t have to strap herself to a man to get where she is so the Feminazis will love her.
In terms of “In My World”, there is only one logical choice for McCain’s Vice President.
George W. Bush, Jr.
Of course
Realistically, Romney would be a great choice. He’s more conservative than McCain (and on theright issues), younger than McCain, nicer than McCain, more presidential than McCain…
Not to mention, how great would it be to do IN My World talking about Satan and Jesus being brothers, or multiple wives?
I think we will get Felipe De Jesus Calderon.
#15 – Posted by: BigRichardSmall on April 9, 2008 02:12 PM
Nah. Leave Calderon in place. I’m sure Vicente Fox is probably in need of a steady gig, though.
Sorry, I don’t know how to say Semper Fidelis in Spanish.
So, Semper Fi!
FRED. DALTON. THOMPSON.
“Thompson Decapitator”
Greatest VP ever.
Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson. Could you imagine the confusion that would result? That would be fun.
I gotta say, W would be the funniest veep. Especialy if McCain actually got someone else to be his veep and W just thinks he was his VP. That would be pretty funny.
echo5a,
You’ll pick it up after you have to work with the Mexican Marines. Their motto is Semper Profugus. “Always Migrating.”
He should pick two…El Presidente’ of Mexico and the Prime Minister of Canada who I’m sure is quite gay (hey it’s Canada). Then tear down the damn walls and open ‘er up for everyone. After all it’s “those people” that McCain heard about on Immigration!
Ted Kennedy
Ted as VP in an IMW? They work so well together in the Senate. Teddy might let slip about his brother and the family tradition of being President … “So, can I fix you a drink?” And the guys could reminisce about the fine time each of them were having on July 18, 1969. The trouble is, that would make him next in line to be President, which would not be worth the risk.
John Edwards
The first woman VP could be great fun as the first woman VP. The trouble is, being a woman and VP, would make him next in line to be the first woman P, which would not be worth the risk.
Hillary Clinton
Despite being the first spawn of Satan to be VP, Hillary could slip right in to the Dark Lord role vacated by Darth Chenious. And the intrigue forcing McCain to watch his step would be a lot of fun. The trouble is, being a woman and VP, would make her next in line to be the first woman P, which would not be worth the risk.
I think JC Watts or that toothsome Governor of Alaska would be great, though not as much fun as the three Democrats.
Barbara Bush ’cause most people in this country need either a grandma to love them or a mom to spank them. Got to say Babs is one of the few women I think could do the job.
Ted Nugent would rock.
Heh. You said “Finland.”
Didn’t somebody advocate the idea of Charlton Heston’s corpse recently? I mean, if we’re talkin’ Goldwater’s corpse here, we might as well throw Heston into the running.
I can see it now: “I said COLD dead hands! They’re not cold yet!”
The obvious choice is Mr. Thompson, but some have astutely recognized that such a choice would constitute an “old white dude’s ticket” and the unwashed masses might have fears about succession, etc.
The obvious choice, then? J-E-R-I. Highest ratings for a Vice Presidential debate, ever.
EDIT: The above should read “More obviouser choice, then?”. Stupid doing things in a hurry.
Duncan Hunter. If the liberal press loved McCain they must have hated Duncan Hunter. They never mentioned him at all. Perhaps they were afraid to.
I missed the first few Republican debates so I never even got a chance to see him. I didn’t know he’d been running until after he announced he was getting out.
I’ve noticed that the press hates good news and avoids giving any real conservative any positive air time or print space unless they absolutely can’t avoid it. Therefore I conclude that Duncan Hunter, who got no press at all, must be more conservative than God and a good canidate for VP.
Unless Fred wants it.
Finland, Finland, Finland! The country where I quite want to be!
What about Barney Frank? He’s really good at back-door diplomacy.
//Ted Nugent would rock.
#35 – Posted by: John on April 9, 2008 05:12 PM//
HEAR HEAR!!! you want f–king comedy? f–king insanity? you get TED F–KING NUGENT!!! MEATEATER!!
(hattip: penn and teller’s BullSh*t on Showtime)
The ones that would help him the most at winning:
1. Condi
2. Lieberman
3. Hillary
Kermit the Frog…or the 2 old guys in the balcony of the muppets…Statdler & Waldorf i think were their names.
Tom Cruise…just because he’s one of the more insane ppl still roaming the planet without a day pass from the institution.
and honestly & sincerely..Colin Powell.
Love to see Mike “the `stash” Bolton in there but i don’t think mcain would do anything to piss off his fellow dem’s so i guess any mexican professional wrestler or jack black would do.
Duh. Fred’s the only choice, because he could easily off McCain (and anyone that pisses him off), making him POTUS. And a POTUS-Fred story where he uses his awesomeness to right all wrongs would be a bestseller.
In reality, I think McCain would landslide with Condi.
#45 – Posted by: zip on April 10, 2008 08:23 AM
It’s John “the stache” Bolton, and recently he’s become of counsel to the law firm where I work. Ken Starr is one of our guys too. Not trying to brag or anything, though.
Oh, and for veep? I don’t think it matters – I have confidence that you’ll make it work no matter what, Frank.
I’m thinking Alan Keyes. Ask him a question, he goes off for ten minutes on another topic entirely, then McCain says he agrees. Hmmm… seems I’ve seen that joke before. But what the heck.
Shame on you #24 – using “Hildebeast” and “strap”(on) in the same sentence. My eyes! My eyes!
FRED!
#47 – Posted by: kyb on April 10, 2008 12:19 PM
Ooo, how about Ken Starr for veep, in a McCain-Hillary smashup?
My heart says Fred but my funny bone says, John Bolton’s Mustache and it knows from funny my friend.
My vote goes to the Rumsfeld strangler. I miss him.