NASA & the incoming Obama team are having a tiff about cutting funds for Project Constellation – the effort to return astronauts to the moon by 2020. I speculate thusly about what else may be on the chopping block:
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* Project Gore – Searching for conclusive proof that the global warming on Mars is man-made.
* Project Foxworthy – getting rednecks drunk and luring them out into the woods for a good probin’.
* Project Blagojevich – Selling that valuable @#$%ing NASA directorship to the highest bidder.
* Project Lewinsky – investigating whether NASA could actually operate at a profit if it started making & selling zero-G pr0n.
* Project Big 3 – loaning $15 billion to any car company that agrees to start producing hybrid space shuttles.
* Project Gitmo – placing terrorists in the ultimate secure holding facility: the inescapable gravitation of the sun’s surface.
* Project NotBush – using mind-control space lasers to brainwash people into voting for McCain. Probably SHOULD ax it, since it only worked for the first six months of 2008, anyway.
* Project Marlboro – retrofitting a space shuttle with a smoking section so that Obama can be the first President in space.
* Project Klaatu – searching for extraterrestrial life forms primitive enough to consider Keanu Reeves to have acting skills. Probably something in the amoeba or lichen range.
* Project IMAO – testing uncontrolled fission reactions on natural planetary satellites.
All I know is that until they work the bugs out of the zero-G toilets, I’m staying indoors during “meteor showers”.
Project Qualified-
Using the Hubble telescope to find a birth certificate in Hawaii.
Project IMAO looks like a winner, let’s deploy it January 19th.
Can we expand Project Marlboro so that it will also transport the VP, Speaker of the House, and the SecState? We should keep them in orbit for the next four years, so that we will be ready to properly greet any ETs that might be up there.
* Project Silky – developing microprocessor-based grooming kits for metrosexual astronauts. The kits don’t include hair straighteners.
* Project Hindsight – using advanced NASA sensors to determine if the Bush presidency looks better from orbit from an historical perspective.
* Project Hubble – using the Hubble telescope to locate the Republican Party and keep the Hubble alive long enough to map-out Huckabee’s ambition and track Palin’s moose killings.
* Project Bailout – redirecting NASA’s infrared satellites to locate the heat signature of all the bailout money since no one knows where it’s going.
* Project Transition – clandestine effort to feed the Obama transition team completely erroneous climate data to counter Gorebal warming idiocy.
* Project Gaffe: shooting Joe Biden into space.
Hey, isn’t Mars actually cooling?
* Project Foxworthy – getting rednecks drunk and luring them out into the words for a good probin’.
Can someone explain this one? I’m afraid I don’t understand it… What words?
Maybe Woods?
“Shucks, Clem! I cain’t see the forest fer all the trees! Wha’dya think that ‘air bright light was? Clem? Clem? ….”
# DC says:
December 14th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Hey, isn’t Mars actually cooling?
Al Gore hasn’t arrived yet. As an aside, it is interesting to note that the atmosphere on mars is 90% CO2, versus – less than 4 – 10ths of 1 % on Earth. That’s right folks – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth%27s_atmosphere
“woods”
Typo.
Sorry about that.
Fixed now.
I half expect with a Barak and Space in Project Marlboro to somehow also have a ‘bong hits for Obama’ slogan in it too.
A link on the drudge takes you to a story where the hypothesis of the article is … dah duh……….
ITS WARMING BECAUSE ITS COOLING. WE HAVE TO HURRY UP AND ACT.
Which I can translate for you: We have to hurry up and act before it gets too cold since the world is cooling or we will be found out to be frauds that we are.
Project Mars First: Appoint Algore as chief forestry official for the entire Red Planet.
The obamessiah is keeping his campaign promise on the Orion-Ares part of the space program.
Not the one he made to Florida voters three months ago vowing to maintain the leadership of the US in space, but instead the one he made a year ago on his website to defund it for 5 years and spend the money on preschool education.
Project Black Hole: finding a giant black hole to dump all of our money into, instead of wasting time passing bailouts.
Project Circus Peanuts: A humongo-jumbp magnet sucks all tea-leaf brained commies into its orbit and thrusts them into the next galaxy. Named for Jimmy Carter, the first to be tested in this fascinating experiment for true social progress.