For those still waiting, I haven’t forgotten about Hellbender. I just haven’t had time to sit down and write. I hope to this Christmas season. The story will have a conclusion; I swear!
I’ll be glad when it is done so I can check IMAO for humorous political talk instead of just being disappointed that Hellbender hasn’t been updated lately.
I never got into it, so I’ll continue be undisappointed by the lack of updates. To me, Hellbender will always be an odd looking fishing lure with treble hooks that sits in the back of the tackle box because you never catch any fish with it.
Damn it! This better not be foreshadowing of a Stephen King patented “crappy-wrap-everything-up-quickly-cause-I’m-bored-with-this-story-and-the-monster-is-a-giant-spider” ending. If it is, I am so throwing out my HellBender secret decoder ring.
Things started exploding just at that point, and this distracted Ronove long enough for Bryce to scoop up the bunny cube. He lofted it towards Charlene, whom Bryce hoped was still on their side for the next few sentences. Unfortunately, she was one of the things that wound up exploding, and the cube bounced around a bit until Chikeize picked it up.
“Crap,” said Bryce. “I wanted to sleep with her again before the end of the story.”
But they had worse problems. Chikeize ignored the cube and instead started to sing.
“HEY!” Lu yelled. “Stay in character!” But it was too late. Ronove reached for the cube… it was all over… until Doug cut off his hand.
“Stop!” said Frank J suddenly. “It’s all over.”
Slowly, Doug lowered his sword. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, that’s how I wrote you,” Frank replied. “Yay me! But really, this is silly. To be honest, I don’t remember half of what was supposed to have gone on, and I skipped some interesting stuff that became important later… and honestly, THIS guy” – Frank dope-slapped Chikeize – “was a bad idea, I may as well have had Constantine in the story.”
Bryce shook his head. “I should have known. No wonder nothing made sense!”
“You could have warned us,” Lu sniffed. “My plans would have all worked if those missing plot points had actually happened.”
Frank shrugged. “Sorry. Anyway, now I’m bored. I want to blog about punching hippies.”
“My girlfriend exploded,” Doug said. “Why couldn’t you get bored ten minutes ago? Jerk.” He cut off Frank J’s head.
“Uh… you know, Doug, he could have UN-exploded Charlene,” said Bryce.
“You can discuss it with my genuine Hattori Hanzo, jackass,” said Doug, cutting off Bryce’s head. Ronove, who was about to ask for his hand back, thought better and snuck off, hoping to find a transport that Frank J had not written out of the story before his demise.
I hope to Hellbender it is!!! It has been too long. Dammit, FrankJ get on the ball.
Oh, and Merry Christmas to you and S.
You said bi. Meh.
I’ll be glad when it is done so I can check IMAO for humorous political talk instead of just being disappointed that Hellbender hasn’t been updated lately.
I never got into it, so I’ll continue be undisappointed by the lack of updates. To me, Hellbender will always be an odd looking fishing lure with treble hooks that sits in the back of the tackle box because you never catch any fish with it.
Hmm. That may explain why I never got into it.
Always waiting for Hellbender or MyWorld 🙂
Forget Hellbender! Get to writing an IMW about the recent shoe incident!
Damn it! This better not be foreshadowing of a Stephen King patented “crappy-wrap-everything-up-quickly-cause-I’m-bored-with-this-story-and-the-monster-is-a-giant-spider” ending. If it is, I am so throwing out my HellBender secret decoder ring.
HELLBENDER – Chapter 60 – I’M BORED
Things started exploding just at that point, and this distracted Ronove long enough for Bryce to scoop up the bunny cube. He lofted it towards Charlene, whom Bryce hoped was still on their side for the next few sentences. Unfortunately, she was one of the things that wound up exploding, and the cube bounced around a bit until Chikeize picked it up.
“Crap,” said Bryce. “I wanted to sleep with her again before the end of the story.”
But they had worse problems. Chikeize ignored the cube and instead started to sing.
“HEY!” Lu yelled. “Stay in character!” But it was too late. Ronove reached for the cube… it was all over… until Doug cut off his hand.
“Stop!” said Frank J suddenly. “It’s all over.”
Slowly, Doug lowered his sword. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, that’s how I wrote you,” Frank replied. “Yay me! But really, this is silly. To be honest, I don’t remember half of what was supposed to have gone on, and I skipped some interesting stuff that became important later… and honestly, THIS guy” – Frank dope-slapped Chikeize – “was a bad idea, I may as well have had Constantine in the story.”
Bryce shook his head. “I should have known. No wonder nothing made sense!”
“You could have warned us,” Lu sniffed. “My plans would have all worked if those missing plot points had actually happened.”
Frank shrugged. “Sorry. Anyway, now I’m bored. I want to blog about punching hippies.”
“My girlfriend exploded,” Doug said. “Why couldn’t you get bored ten minutes ago? Jerk.” He cut off Frank J’s head.
“Uh… you know, Doug, he could have UN-exploded Charlene,” said Bryce.
“You can discuss it with my genuine Hattori Hanzo, jackass,” said Doug, cutting off Bryce’s head. Ronove, who was about to ask for his hand back, thought better and snuck off, hoping to find a transport that Frank J had not written out of the story before his demise.
“So now what?” Lu asked.
“I dunno,” Doug said. “But now I’m bored too.”
“Let’s go for pizza.”
Even the regulars among us aren’t sure whether or not to believe that one.