The iPad

So, that iPad is pretty neat, huh? It’s like an iPhone, but bigger. It’s like the perfect device to use when you’re walking from your laptop to your iPhone.

Okay, I don’t really understand what it’s for, but it’s from Apple so I’m guessing it’s pretty slick. I think I’ll get one because I don’t want to be left out if this is the next big thing. I’d hate it if everyone was all smiley and happy with their iPads and doing cool high tech stuff and they looked at me and were like, “Where’s your iPad?”

And I’m like, “I don’t have an iPad.”

And then they’d stare at me in horror and be like, “So why don’t you just kill yourself?”

I mean, the iPad could revolutionize the way we do… something. I may make fun of the iPad, but I also made fun of the internet and was like, “Information? What do I need that for?” Well, ends up the internet is starting to look like it’s kinda useful. I also made fun of the Segway, though, and that ended up being kinda prescient.

But the iPad could be the next big thing. We’ll one day say, “What did people do before the iPad? It’s hard to imagine!”

And another person will say, “They just sat around in circles smashing each other in the face with rocks. That’s how primitive they were.”

Ooh. I think I can read comic books on it. Neato!

22 Comments

  1. from an email I got today:

    Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

  2. I wonder if anybody has plotted the rise in Apple popularity against the decline in scholastic achievement.

    Thanks for clearing up all things Apple, Frank. Until today I thought an iMac was a McDonald’s breakfast item.

  3. Ipad sounds cool and all, but I still want the wrist computer that projects a hologram image and takes comand by voice. And I want that hologram image to look like Eurkel off of Family Matters. Seriously, Does Apple expect me to navigate the web by touching stuff. Why should I use my own hands like a fool?

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