What does happen when we get too much debt? Does China come over to break our thumbs?
Curling just felt natural. It’s like we evolved specifically to slide rocks down sheets of ice.
Good question for Gibbs at the next press conference: “But what does this all have to do with the iPad?”
Secession is wrong, but maybe we should be able to kick states out of the union.
Man, I could just imagine the illegal immigration problem we’d have here in Idaho if we kicked California out of the union.
Nah, I guess we couldn’t kick states out; we’d feel all guilty and stuff. We’d first need a drug that removes guilt.
2010: no flying cars or Mars missions, but the iPad seems more in line with what I was expecting.
If Democrats are right about the public not caring about process, we could try repealing Obamacare through military coup.
Other way to repeal a bill: Break into National Archives and steal it. Who’s up for a heist caper? I’ll be the tech guy.
Environmentalists are hypocrites. Saw a guy complain about global warming and then later garrote polar bears for laughs.
Wait, that was me.
The Guiliani endorsement of Rubio would seem to be the final nail in Crists’s coffin… if we could reach the coffin under all that dirt.
Stupid anti-science conservatives all saying, “Guam isn’t going to capsize; it feels so stable.” That isn’t how science works!
Capsize is a weird word, especially since caps are usually one size fits all.
Maybe the word “capsize” comes from a captain letting his boat tip over because he was too busy getting his hat to fit just right.
This year I’ll let the kids have an Easter Egg hunt in my DVD library.
I hope Kal Penn returns to House to play zombie Kutner.
I’m almost sure I recognize Rep. Phil Hare from numerous cartoons.
Just to show I’m not closed minded, I will fully support Obama’s health care plan if he buys me an iPad. 64 GB model.
For the record, I also won’t give urological exams to Obama voters.
52% of bloggers consider themselves journalists? Personally, I’m 75% sure I’m 15% journalist.
I just know that when I get an iPad, one of its many uses will be whapping the cats.
The word “onomatopoeia” comes from the sound someone makes when they say “Onomatopoeia.”
Can’t believe Nintendo hasn’t capitalized on the Obama presidency with a “Yes Wii Can!” game.
Anyone get an iPad? How pad-like is it? What does the ‘i’ stand for? Does it smell like apples?
Apple, if you send me an iPad, I’ll mention you on my blog. FOR FREE.
For Easter, I’m going to celebrate Jesus’s resurrection. I do that every Sunday, but this time I’m going to do it EXTRA HARD!
It really sounds like the iPad is going to revolutionize the way we do whatever is the iPad is supposed to be used for.
The penultimate thought is my favorite, but I thoroughly enjoy this blog and your tweets!
HAH! You gave Apple free advertising. Now I will buy Apple stock since FrankJ mentioned it on IMAO.
Did you have to look up “onomatopoeia” before you wrote it? Or did you rely on Microsoft word to spell it correctly for you?
I’ll be the fat, old retired crook you come to for advice before the heist. No, no, I’m too old & fat now for that kind of work. But I have a hot daughter/niece/protégé with just the skills you need.
I’ll be the crazy Russian guy who speaks with a Scottish accent! I’ve always dreamt of being the crazy Russian who speaks with a Scottish accent!
Can we do Kelly’s Heroes next? I want to be Telly Savalas.
I’m almost sure I recognize Rep. Phil Hare from numerous cartoons.
Actually, I think that you recognize him from Office Space; he played the guy who tried to commit suicide and ended up collecting a big personal injury judgment.
I’ll be the comedy relief who surprisingly doesn’t ruin
the caper because his stunning ineptitude
is overcome by his astounding blind luck.
… sorta like the Democrats,
if they surprisingly don’t ruin America.
I’ll be Tom Cruise. I’ll distract Lord Xenu and inject the security guards with Phalens to buy time for you guys to crack the safe.
Frank, I wish my mind worked like yours. Then I’d be really cool.
BTW, I’ve been meaning to ask – How did you end up in Idaho? My memory may be faulty, but I could have sworn a couple of years ago you were thinking about moving to Round Rock. Then we would have practically been neighbors. I could stop by uninvited, drink your coffee and bore you with sea stories.
“Other way to repeal a bill: Break into National Archives and steal it. Who’s up for a heist caper? I’ll be the tech guy.”
Oh sure, all of the good parts are already taken. So, I’d most likely end up being the guy we actually see very little of before the heist, who’s death during the operation either serves to warn the others not to go in that direction or distracts the guards while the others escape. So, that being the case, I may choose to pass on this one. And, if I do go, I’m definitely not wearing a red Star Trek shirt, just in case.
The purpose of the ipad is to sit in coffee shops and be seen with an ipad until such a time as nobody cares – mid April
Don’t worry Son of Bob. I’ll take your hot daughter under my wing and teach her the theft trade. Hopefully she has more aptitude than her bungling father.
I’m a little behind the technological curve [my PC runs on squirrels and Jolt cola] so when the iPad came out I thought it was a new bra from Victoria’s Secret.
Hey for this heist plan, can I be the guy who ends up with the hot daughter/niece/protégé at the end? I didn’t hear anybody call the part of dashing, handsome leader/mastermind yet. I don’t really fit that role, but maybe I can fake it.
I think it smells like apples, too.
If Ernie Loco makes the cut for the “dashing, handsome leader/mastermind”, can I be the guy who everybody in the audience likes in the movie but dies in a churning meat grinder accident in the third reel? Kinda like a “red shirt” in Star Trek, ya know?
Breaking into the National Archives to steal the bill is a good idea, but how can you pass up the chance for some additional mischef while your in there? Like planting information that Barrack is a Ferengi who got kicked out of Ferengi-ville because Ferengis can’t be commies. Or that Michelle is a Klingon. Or a Wookie. Or that hippie punchers live a full two decades longer than non-hippie punchers. Or that liberals are a bunch of bed wetting pansies. OK, that last one isn’t made up…
Forget it Ernie! I’m not having any hot daughter/niece/protégé of miine hooking up with a criminal like you! She’s getting out of this businesss as soon as she has enough money for med school/Harvard Law/art school in Paris.
By the way, I noticed your obsession with something called an “I-Pad.” Is that like a Stay Free Mini pad? Feminine hygene products are soooo confusing, good thing I’m a guynine, or whatever the hell those of us who aren’t feminine are called.
Anyway, I’m sure they got plenty of I-Pads in the feminine hygene section at your local hardware store, right between the explosive and plumbing aisles. Or is it between the ammo and paint ailes?
I’ll settle for being the total dweeb-oid guy who works on the inside. My character will be believable because who else would work at the Archives? I’ll get no girl at all, but being a dweeb, I’ll be overjoyed just to be with the popular people.
Intelligence has it that they will instead use Chinese Finger Torture Devices (CFTD’s). Think of the economic ruin caused by sticking every American’s index fingers together.
For the last time, I got my words mixed up! Obviously, I meant it would sink. –Hank Johnson
I’m opening a special clinic to test reflexes. I will only serve Obama voters.
I’d like to ride the publicity coattails of that Florida urologist
and open a clinic that ONLY serves Obama voters.
Is Dr.Kervorkian availiable to staff it?
Does Apple not have access to ANY focus groups on which to test the name of this device? Seriously. It’s. just. wrong.
Random Thoughts:
The advantage of a free market like a constitutional republic is that it has the ability to be dynamically self correcting. This actually exacerbates the amount of smaller short term problems but minimizes the big the problems. While elections every 2 years are messy and contentious they are much better then then a bloody coup every few decades.
If you remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine and Jerry try and come up with the set of rules to avoid the predictable collapse of the friends with benefits system, that in essence is what our founding fathers tried to do with the Constitution. They looked at all the dynamics which had collapsed every empire and nation from the past and tried to make a set of rules that would avoid or delay that fate.
Rather then deluding themselves into trying to build a perfect car that ran forever they built a simpler modular car that laymen could repair themselves. Thus breaking up the old system of the peoples dependence on professional auto-mechanics who had the people by the short hairs. The statists liberals are very much like a new breed of organized mechanics who promise everyone better cars they will no longer have to fix themselves but, the with fine print caveat they can no longer be fixed by laymen and will again be dependent on the auto-mechanic system to decide when and what gets repaired or replaced and how much it will cost.
“If Democrats are right about the public not caring about process, we could try repealing Obamacare through military coup.”
Not only random, but psychic.
“Other way to repeal a bill: Break into National Archives and steal it. Who’s up for a heist caper? I’ll be the tech guy.”
Can I be the quite guy that turns out to be a psycho who pulls out an AK-47 and starts “wasting turkeys”?
“Can’t believe Nintendo hasn’t capitalized on the Obama presidency with a “Yes Wii Can!” game.”
(The only problem is that they would have to give it away to the estimated 297.5 million people who don’t already have Wii, along with an unfunded mandate that it can be played on all platforms without copyright restrictions and free lessons to the elderly, women and minorities who may not have the technical skills to properly use the device (excuse me, would benefit from federal retraining grants). Oh and don’t forget the electricity subsidy so their utility bills will not have a negative impact. Employers with over 1.75 statutory employees would be required to provide paid Wii breaks in an inviting room and minimum standard equipment including 50″ plasma screens. Furthermore, to protect players’ self esteem from emotional trauma, scoring is removed, and there is no limit to the number of lives. Rewards for nominal progress through the levels of the game must meet guidelines to avoid liability. Answers to any puzzles must be in a minimum of six languages (including ASL and Braille) and take up no more than a designated 12.38% of the screen and be in a minimum 36 point foint. Audio instructions for the literacy challenged may not be disabled and must be in an alternate set of languages upon verbal request in said language. Wheelchair and paralytic friendly Wii remotes must come standard and cannot be disassembled to accommodate standard use so that the differently-abled players won’t be able to recognize that they are different. However, medical treatment for Wii Wrist would not be covered as it is not a recognized medical condition with an established diagnostic code. Doctors, excuse me, medical practitioners would be forced to under threat of fraud label it as something like “anterior joint edema,” unless of course the patient was over 84.7 years of age in which case the eligibility board would approve hospice. )