Right Wing News has a list of the top 50 action movie lines, which got me thinking of why don’t we see action movie lines in real life more often? I guess it’s because people are usually panicky after killing someone and so not as likely to say something clever. Really, you have to be at least somewhat sociopahtic about death to be cracking wise while killing. Plus, killing doesn’t often happen with an audience, and nothing says crazy like killing people and then talking to yourself.
Still, I thought I could come up with some cool action movie lines myself. Try these on:
When shooting someone in the face. “Now you’re dead… IN THE FACE!”
When killing someone after he said something that could be taking as innuendo. “That’s what she bled.”
“Time to bring on the pain… and I don’t mean the window kind! That’s pronounced the same but spelled differently that the pain I am talking about. So, to reiterate, the pain I am bringing is the P-A-I-N kind and has nothing to do with windows… unless I throw you through one. Then I guess pane would be causing you pain… or would you be touching the pane? I forget what part of the window is the pane; is that the glass or the frame? Whoa, what was I talking about again?”
“I have something in my pocket for your face… MY FIST!”
When attacking people with a dinosaur with rocket launchers on it. “You better kiss Jur-ASS-ic goodbye!”
When nuking the moon. “That that… moon!” (Okay I admit that one could use some more work).
“I know what you’re thinking, punk: Did I fire six bullets or only five. Being this is a Glock with seventeen rounds, it’s a moot point, but I’m doing a cognitive psychology study on people’s ability to count in stressful situation. You’ll get twenty dollars to participate. So, do you feel like helping science? Well, do ya, punk?”
Yeah, I’m awesome.
Dirty Harry would never use a wimpy 9MM Austrian piece of trash. I protest.
Undercover cop posing as a bank teller shots the bank robber: Here’s the money…with INTEREST!
After shooting a crazy hobo that was ranting and acting violent, nod toward the pistol and say, “This is MY anger management tool.”
After shooting an anti-gun protester who was shouting “Guns are dangerous!”…look surprised and say, “Well…whaddaya know?”
“You got a lot of nerve showing up here not dead.”
“I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get late renaissance/early mannerist on your ass.”
If they move kill ‘um!….The Wild Bunch
“Member FDI MURDER! Guaranteed for up to fifty thousand DIE!”
–Hobgoblins, MST3K
Throw the cow over the fence some DEATH!
–A Haunting in Lancaster County
“You complete me.”
“Yeah! With my fist!”
“I’m king of the world!”
“And my fist is about to be king of your face!”
All said in a Clint Eastwood voice.
-Bleep you and the dinosaur you rode in on!
-I’m gonna count to ten… and if that goes well I may try 20… but I am gonna shoot you on two and half anyway.
-Now its the Second Amendments turn to talk.
-Gays and Mexicans I can be neighbors with but your a commie and there ain’t no more room for you here.
-I’m pro-choice…. knife…. or gun….your choice
-Hitler had nightmares about me being born!
-No one will know who you are tomorrow but my little quip I am about to make will live on for a hundred years.
-I don’t mind that you hate America… Cuz America is don’t putting up with you.
As said by a Baptist church security guard as he slams his fist into his palm “Time to lay hands on the brother”.
Practice time! And you get to hold the targets!
I don’t have to run fast enough to catch you. Can you run at 850 feet per second?
When Smith & Wesson talks, everybody listens.
You got my point. Hollow point, that is.
-After throwing a guy through your window, “Feel my PANE!”
-While repeatedly punching a guy in the face yell, “You like that? You like that?” then when he gurgles, you yell, “SHUT UP!” and resume punching.
-“This is where you die.”
One of my favorites, from Full Metal Jacket
Door Gunner: Git some! Git some! Git some, yeah, yeah, yeah! Anyone who runs, is a VC. Anyone who stands still, is a well-disciplined VC! You guys oughta do a story about me sometime!
Private Joker: Why should we do a story about you?
Door Gunner: ‘Cuz I’m so f***in’ good! I done got me 157 dead gooks killed. Plus 50 water buffalo, too! Them’s all confirmed!
Private Joker: Any women or children?
Door Gunner: Sometimes!
Private Joker: How can you shoot women or children?
Door Gunner: Easy! Ya just don’t lead ’em so much! Ain’t war hell?
#9 FTW:
“A KBA is a KBA.” – Actual hilarious statement made by a half-drunk pilot to a half-drunk intelligence officer at a party celebrating the pilot’s survival of a particularly hairy mission, somewhere in Southeast Asia, late 1972.
KBA is the acronym for (an enemy combatant) Killed By Airstrike.
At the time of his demise, the KBA in question had been operating a 37mm anti-aircraft cannon, blowing pieces off of the pilot’s airplane.
– Ya know what? I never liked you. BAM.
– Shooting time is upon us.
– Well now, it’s not my fault that I’m the one with the gun.
– DIE COMMIE PINKO B*ST*RD!!! (not original)
A Gem from Way of the Gun:
-We’re not talking about how long you’re gonna live, we’re talking about how slow you’re gonna die.
I don’t know how this missed the cut (Fistful of Dollars):
– I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, my mule don’t like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might convince him that you really didn’t mean it.
No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other bastard die for his country.
Wars may be fought with weapons but they are won by men.
May God have mercy upon my enemies because I won’t.
Quotes by General George Patton Jr…….better than any action movie lines.
When I get out of bed and my feet his the floor, the devil shakes and says “he’s up again”
My name is Sue! How do you do?! Now you gonna die!!!
“You broke into the WRONG D*MN REC-ROOM, didn’t you?!!”
– Tremors
“Yippie Ki-Yay, ObamaVoter!”
-November 2, 2010
“That, that… moon!”
This is the best one! Leave it alone!
Line from a liberal action movie:
“I’ll file a bunch of lawsuits against you and make you spend lots of money, while a bunch of us protest your business every day and spread lies in the media about your company. We’ll put you and all your employees out of work. And I can do it, because I don’t have or want a job, so I’ve got nothing better to do. I’ve got NOTHING better to do.”
A lovely gem from Tropic Thunder
Cody: Hey, thats a nice side arm. What is it?
Four Leaf Tayback: I don’t know what it is. I only know the sound it makes when it kills a man.
“I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’ll all out of bubble gum.” They Live.
Quaker homeowner, roused from slumber by a burglar: “Friend, as a pacifist I mean thee no harm, but thou art standing where my shotgun is about to shoot.”
#18: “You broke into the WRONG D*MN REC-ROOM, didn’t you?!!” — Tremors
Still one of my all-time favorite movie lines. Particularly given the hellacious blasting that Michael Gross and Reba McIntyre give the giant worm before this line.
“The Man With Two Brains” was not quite an action film, but imagine Pelosi being thrown out the window by Fred Thompson, who shouts Steve Martin’s immortal line, “Into the mud, scum queen!”
#24 – bfwebster,
Tremors is my favoritest monster movie of all time precisely because the monsters, while large and dangerous, were Not bullet-proof.
“Three outa the four voices in my head really don’t like you.”
OK, that’s not a movie line. Just what I say at work to get the boss off my back.
First there is what people want to believe, then what people want to hear, then there’s everything else, Then there is the Truth. The International
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