Help Find the Escaped Democrats

Wisconsin police have sent the police to hunt down the escaped Democrats. I think they may have even hired bounty hunters to track them down (“No disintegrations — that would prevent quorum.”).

We should all help in our own way by keep a looking out for escaped Democrats. They could be hiding anywhere around you, but here are some signs to look for:

1. Whininess
2. Completely unearned sense of entitlement
3. Desire to spend other people’s money
4. Inability to make numbers add up

If you think you see an escaped Democrat, don’t make any sudden movements. If frightened, Democrats will immediately spend billions of dollars we don’t have. Instead, smile to the Democrat very politely as you slowly pull out some bear mace and spray him in the face. Then bind his hands and feet with duct tape so he won’t get away. Then spray him with some more bear mace. Then check his wallet for your money. And then go ahead and empty that can of bear mace on him.

BTW, you’ll need to purchase some bear mace.

Afterwards, you can then call Wisconsin and tell them to come get their Democrat. And after they get quorum, hopefully Wisconsin will be smart enough to send their Democrats out of state again and make sure they never come back this time.

28 Comments

  1. Then check his wallet for your money.

    He/she won’t have any of your money on him/her, not until its been laundered through the Public Employee’s Unions (I’m not being P.C., I just like calling democrats he/shes). But I would still seize the contents of their wallet as evidence.

    then call Wisconsin and tell them to come get their Democrat.

    Unfortunately, our laws in Wisconsin don’t allow us to come get our democrats, even if we wanted to, whether they are in Wisconsin or not, or we would have done so. Kindly drop our democrats in a mailbox with their state-issued id card stapled to their forehead, that they might be returned to us, or at least dumped onto a pile of undeliverable mail that no one wants.

    We should have done like Michigan, and put a $ .10 deposit stamp on their bottoms, so that some industrious homeless person would pick them up and turn them in to us for all those dimes.

  2. Some other signs to look for:

    * Blurting out sentences like “Do it for the children!” and “We need jobs!”
    * Heavy use of words like “needy” and “compassionate” and “give back.”
    * Sh!t-eating grins.

    but mainly,

    * It’s the smell.

  3. I’ve been administering Math Tests to anyone in a suit for the last 4 days. Just to be sure. I stocked up on Bear Mace and plenty of Taser Cartridges in case they try to run.

    P.S. I make them run anyway. Tee Hee!

  4. Find the democraps? Is this like one of those lame “Where’s Waldo?” books? They all look alike except for little things. They all sound alike too. Who cares where Waldo is? He holed up with those stinking demos. forget the state police I want the Crazed Balancer to find them. Start with those funny hats and matching scarfs. Bet they were made at union shops in Hoboken

  5. Why are we looking for them?

    How hard would it be to pass a WI law to outlaw the Democrat Party?
    It only needs a simple Quorum. Sneak it through the House when they dems are out complaining. You cant find an objection in the Senate.

    Bwaahhahahahhaahaaa

  6. Well, the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we crossed the boarder into the sun,
    And the first one said to the second one there…in Illinois we’ll be having fun.
    Dems on the run, Dems on the run.
    And the jailer man and Trooper Sam were searching every one,

    For the Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run,

    Well, the Governor drew a heavy sigh seeing no one else had come,
    And a bell was ringing in the capitol building for the Dems on the run.
    Dems on the run, Dems on the run,
    And the jailer man and Trooper Sam, were searching every one,

    For the Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run,

    Well, the night was falling as the Wisconsin world began to settle down,
    In Wisconson they’re searching for us every where, but we never will be found.
    Dems on the run, Dems on the run,
    And the union judge, who held a grudge,
    Will search for evermore,
    For the Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run, Dems on the run….Sir Paul, still beltin’ them out

  7. Wouldn’t it be even more super excellent to taser the democrat either before or after the bear mace? Doint the crappie flop on the street while trying to rub mace out of their eyes would be fun to watch and we could all take movies with our IPhones and such and submit them for a Hollywood Extravaganza! We would like all win Oscars and be super rich or something!

  8. No not a taser (would make me have to spend more money) but there is something missing…

    Bear Mace (good)

    Bear Mace again (better)

    Bear Mace again (approaching overkill but still well within acceptable ranges)

    I submit for the “piece de’ resistance” …. FACE PUNCH or Punch in the Junk.

  9. Good one, zzyzx.

    I believe the FleeBaggers may be hiding out at abortion mills.
    Those places never get inspected, or when they do, it’s by DemocRats……..”Nope, no DemocRats here. No Siree.”

    DemocRat FleeBaggers may be using DemocRat MindTricks on the weak minded……”These aren’t the DemocRats you’re looking for.”……” These aren’t the DemocRats we’re looking for.”

    Don’t fall for DemocRat MindTricks.

  10. I think I saw them all in Kalamazoo Michigan having lunch with Elvis. They were all eating fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It was a place called Heartbreak Hotel at the end of Lonely Street.

  11. While y’all are looking out for such open socialists, you might also want to accost any relatively important neocons who, like their more-honest ideological forebears the socialists and progressives, favor gargantuan government spending of stolen wealth; likewise, they enjoy using central banks to massively inflate the money supply, thereby occasioning boom-bust cycles and affording the government a relatively covert means of procuring wealth wherewith to fund their warfare-welfare schemes (the only notable differences between the neocons and open progressives is the former’s occasional use of libertarian rhetoric and slightly more aggressive worship of America – in other words, differences of semantics and convenience, not principle). I hear tell they’ve infiltrated the successor groups to the Tea Party (founded by Ron Paul supporters).

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