So there’s this budget debate and a looming shutdown, and I just find it hard to care about. We have Paul Ryan’s new budget to cut trillions, but they’re arguing over less than a hundred billion. It’s like let’s just skip this and get straight to the entitlements and hope we can come up with some plan to pay things down in fifty years or so.
Man, things are just so messed up in this country right now; sometimes it doesn’t seem like we’ll ever get right again. If we kept up the momentum for the eighties — the Reagan years — right now we’d be flying around in rocket cars, polishing our large stacks of gold, having parades for our dino warriors, and updating our maps to remove all the evil countries we destroyed. Instead, we’re just trying to scrounge enough money to keep our horrible government going for a few more months. We’re just really sucking it up right now; I blame liberals, RINOs, and fat kids. And the Founding Fathers.
I mean, obviously if we got from their Constitution to what we have today, they made a bunch of mistakes. We now have this entrenched political class full of useless morons who want to boss us around and spend all our money, and obviously the Constitution didn’t prevent that well enough. I’m not even sure we can fix it; we’ll probably have to wait for the government to collapse under its own weight and then learn from our mistakes when we make a Constitution for our new country. Like now it’s pretty obvious that half the Constitution should be devoted to strict limits on how much money the government should take and for what purposes. And maybe the other half on the severe punishments that we’ll inflict on politicians if they’re even slightly crooked. And perhaps we should try to come up with some way to make sure the politicians we put in charge aren’t all sociopath morons, but that doesn’t matter too much if we just limit their power. Oh, and we definitely want to redo the Supreme Court — instead of a bunch of weirdo judges trying to look for hidden meanings in the Constitution, we do it more like jury duty where we grab a few regular people and ask them if a bill matches what’s allowed in the plain meaning of the Constitution. And fat kids should be unconstitutional.
What do you want in the new Constitution?
I like the old Constitution…we should just start enforcing it.
No Fat kids
No RINO’s
No Liberals
No News Media
No Taxes…EVER
No Government Departments except the Military which we double
Robot Research
Double our Nuke Stock Pile
Reduce our current Nuke Stock Pile by using some on bad countries (mainly Arabs and N. Korea) then we go in and take all of the goodies (oil and gold and such) Plundering is good for victors!
PBS and NPR constitutionally made illegal
Rush Limbaugh put on Mt Rushmore by the Constitution
Constitutional mandate that all Chevy Volts are to be sunk in the deepest part of the ocean where they will be crushed by the pressure of the water depth never to rise again!
Constitutional says that all ghey people must move to San Fransisco and then we (by accident) nuke SF!
Constitution outlaws liberalism. If you become a liberal you are put in stocks in the town square and people are allowed to throw rotten eggs at you and give you wedgies and stuff!
Constitution allows for tar and feathering of idiot congressmen and women!
Constitution forces all environmentalists to move to Canada
Constitution mandates a wall of fire between the US and Mexico and also Canada
I think that the answer is all too clear. Frank for President, Head Supreme Court Judge, Senate Majority Leader, Speaker of the House and Secr’y of HHA (Someone has to know where to house the minions). Then, and only then, rewrite the Constitution as it was supposed to be written, in Plain English.
Add something in the writ about working your own ass off to get ahead. No Pig-less Pig farm subsidies. Something about gunrights. And a clause about punching hippies.
Hopefully I got in here FIRST!
Dang. Still, top 3!
Chop out certain loaded words/phrases from the current Constitution like “provide for the common welfare” (source of liberal justification of all entitlement spending) and “regulate commerce” (source of the “commerce clause” runaway meddling in ALL our economic affairs). Eliminate the 16th Amendment. Taxes are involuntary servitude. Have the Federal Government charge for services for everything besides our military and run in the black by law. Not running in the black? Shut the department down by law. Shut down the FED and institute a United States Central Bank based on hard currency around choice of precious metals or commodities of economic value (e.g., gold, silver, platinum, copper, rare earths, etc. etc. Even water would work!) Our money system need to be based on actual wealth and not actual debt. Enforce strict Federalism….
There’s nothing funny about this. But then, I’m not in a funny mood.
I, too, am no longer in a funny mood, Jimbo. Since I was
imprisonedtaken on vacation this morning by theWisconsin police unionsbenevolvent forces of the working man, I feel thattheir incompetent attempts at brainwashing have dismally failedmy class consciousness has been raised ten fold! Moreover, I have found that these benevolent forces of the working man are quite fond of doughnuts and other fruits of capitalist labor.Their fondness for the fruits of the system they hate leads me to the conclusion that once everything around us explodes, it may be possible to win over some of the other side. Their own silent majority follows along for the ride because they’ve been trained to be ignorant by modern liberal “American” culture.
PresidentThat imperialist bastard Reagan understood that he couldpersuadechain such people to the wheels of American slavery and hisrunning on traditional American principles of libertydogmatic, ceaseless crushing of the proletariat won him two elections. It can work forusyou pigs now.Frank, please moderate my comment so I can leave and smash some rocks in the yard.
Violation of the Constitution is treason and the penalty for treason is a musket to the junk.
Quoting or parapharsing Marx results in immediate confiscation of all of your wealth (made using that nasty capitalist system) and deportation to a State Sized closed commune (I nominate France ) where you can live and work with other people who believe in “marxist” ideology – think of it as an orphanage for adults who want to act like they are in Kindergarten, where no trade is allowed with the outside world.
Despite having ample resources, the people sent ot the commune will die within weeks, and by their own hands, thus ridding us of the cost of actually punishing them ourselves. You think Marx works without a capitalist socity to bleed and leech off of? – go on – show us.
Quoting or parapharsing Marx results in immediate confiscation of all of your wealth (made using that nasty capitalist system) and deportation to a State Sized closed commune (I nominate France ) where you can live and work with other people who believe in “marxist” ideology – think of it as an orphanage for adults who want to act like they are in Kindergarten, where no trade is allowed with the outside world.
Despite having ample resources, the people sent ot the commune will die within weeks, and by their own hands, thus ridding us of the cost of actually punishing them ourselves. You think Marx works without a capitalist socity to bleed and leech off of? – go on – show us.
Violation of the Constitution is treason and the penalty for treason is a musket to the junk.
Double posting results in musket to the junk…
I’d add a reading comprehension test for Supreme Court Justice and a clause at the end that said, “And this time, we mean it!”.
And one more change, I’d change the phrase “well-regulated militia” to “Armed Citizenry”.
An Armed Citizenry being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
Meant to add,
As wise-guy once said, if I have my second amendment rights I can then demand all the rest, so that’s the most important one.
Term limits, just in case some sociopath morons do slip through the cracks and start voting on ways to keep non-sociopath-morons from replacing them (like the McCain-Feingold Incumbent Protection Act). 2 terms for Senators (who are picked by the state governments anyway), 4 terms for Congressmen, and 20 years for SCOTUS justices.
If you can find it I highly recommend “Lone Star Planet” by H. Beam Piper. The story is OK but his description of the political system in that society is awesome.
I especially like the “Court of Political Justice”. Seems that on New Texas killing a politician isn’t a crime if you can prove the politician deserved it for his actions in office.
A quote from a young lady schooling a newcomer to the planet who was a bit put out after seeing a man acquitted of murder for killing a senator with a machete:
The copy I have was published in 1984 while the novellas original copyright is 1958.
You can read it online at Lone Star Planet.
We burn as a witch anyone who uses the extra-constitutional phrase “wall of separation between church and state.”
Establish that there is no offical state religion but all religions that aren’t judeo-christian are illegal and may not have there symbols put up on courhouse lawns unless of course they pay for it.
Anyone who wishes to criticize God must use his Arabic name and display his offical address for all appropriate responses.
Make the Second amendment the first. Anyone wanting to redistribute wealth gets shipped off to Detroit. Add a new holiday: Nuke the Moon Day. Maske it Mat 1st to drive the enviroweenies nuts. (Or nutiter than they already are)
Term Limits!
– for congress
– for judgeships
– bad action movies
Any citizen (esp. Hollywood libtard) threatening to become an ex-pat after an election must self deport or surrender voting rights.
I only have one thing to add: NYC is given to Massachusets, Albany is to be demolished, burned, burried in cow feces, burned again, burried 20ft below ground, and re-named. The new capital of this new, unnamed state will be built someplace closer to the center of the state.
How about we just super saturation nuke New York City! We nuke it and then we nuke the ashes and then we super nuke the nuked ashes! There may be radiation but that moves from west to east so who gives a rat’s ass, it will move across the Atlantic and hit Europe…like we care about them! If any of them complain, we Nuke them and ask if they have any more opinions on America that they’d like to share? While Nuking New York, we need to send a separate and especially targeted and highly powerful nuke to the United Nations!
After we are done with New York, then we can like start blaming Arab terrorist countries and we will start nuking the bajeebers out of them! Iran (gone), Iraq (gone), Syria (gone) Yemmen (gone), Afganistan (gone), Packistan (gone), Saudi Aribia (gone), Palistinians (gone), ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh quiet and peace!!!
I thought about that, but there are alot of historical landmarks in NYC. We dont want to destroy the cool shit thats still there from a long time ago, we just want to get rid of the leaches. Massachusets seems to think socialism is so great, so let them pay for that money pit.
@17 and 18. Compromise. Nuke everything north of the Mason-Dixon line and east of the Mississippi. Then give that area to canada and let their enviroweenies worry about it.
The new constitution should include a provision for prosecuting all union members and democrats as useless drains to society.
We must declare bacon as the official state food, and designate April 1st as a non hippie punching day. A day of celebration where hippies can have a safe zone around haite and asbury streets for 24 hours.
@ Weisshaupt, I’m all for having a closed-off prison-state where all Marxists are sent to learn the folly of communism and die, but it needs to be televised, ala Truman Show, so that others may learn the lessons, and avoid the mistake. I suggest we give the UP Michigan to Wisconsin and place them in mainland Michigan. That way, they will be surrounded by water on three sides, making a barrier wall to the south smaller and less expensive.
East of the Mississippi? That’s like St Paul, MN! Umm…OK! That would take out our state legislators!!! I’m in! My wife works in St Paul so give me notice so she can call in sick and we will make a trip to South Dakota that day…
I suppose we should plan for after the collapse. I’ve got my picks already, so which gov. officials do you want?
violation of the new constitution results in large scale ditch digging projects to be named “The Judge Smails Mexican/Canadian Buffer Zone” for just being a liberal and a slimming down of all the fats kids………..
We need special provisions for enforcing the restrictions of the Constitution against all elected officials and civilian government employees. I propose drawing a Board of Knight Commissioners from the jury pool, to be given the authority to award knighthoods to Americans. Knights would have special authority to administer humiliation, beatings (only with regulation-sized Sticks), fines, and armed interventions. They would also be immune to any form of prosecution or government harassment unless they are first impeached by either a grand jury or their Commissioners.
How about a constitutional convention? We did it before, to get rid of the old Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union. Then we adopt the exact same thing we have now, without all the Supreme Court “interpretations” and more importantly, except for one addition: The only crime punished by capital punishment is for a federal official, elected, appointed, or hired, to “abuse the public trust.” Make it vague purposely. And make it the only capital offense, not because there aren’t other criminal acts that themselves deserve maximum punishment, but to emphasize just how important it is that a federal public official put his trust ahead of his pocketbook or ego. And make it a requirement that there be at least one execution per year to serve as instruction for the remaining public officials.
I’m thinking that the Easter Bunny has brought an early present for enemyofthepeople. Am I right? That is to say, have the libs thought of a last minute way to steal this election?
After the collapse I say we Blame It All on Canada and declare war.
Enforced borders.
No automatic citizenship for children of illegal immigrants.
You can’t work? You get help from Churches and charities.
You won’t work? You don’t eat.
The 4th stanza of “The Star Spangled Banner” will be sung at sporting events, instead of the first.
The Navy to be replaced by sharks with freakin’ lasers on their heads.
Use the political ideas from Starship Troopers – only veterans can vote. Anyone can be a resident and taxpayer, thank you, but if you want to vote, you have to serve.
But Room 237, where are we gonna put the Marines?
You have to think these things through.
We’ll use whales with frikking laser beams on their heads.
@ Coldguy — A Truman Show of the Communist State is a great idea. But we need a good title..
Anyone suggest a few?