There is a report floating around on the interwebs that scientists, using Science! have succeeded in hacking a person’s brain and retrieving information from it. As scary as that sounds, the procedure is still in its infancy, and requires a lot of brain activity to pick up on.
Regardless of this little problem, which I am sure Science! will fix eventually, I can foresee such a brain-hacking of an important person. Say…Joe Biden for instance. That would be interesting. So, of course, I had to think to myself what might be retrieved from Mr. Biden’s brain in such an experiment…
Biden Brain Hacks
______________
10. *silence* (Scientists: “crank it up to 50!“)
9. “Hmm, where have my pants gone this time?”
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8. “What does Barack see in that teleprompter of his? He’s not as intimate with me.”
7. “I wish I had as big of a stick as Barack does.”
6. “I wish I had a rainbow pinwheel. Those are really cool.”
5. “My favorite three letter word is wood…w-o-o-d. It has such a woody quality to it.”
4. “I had a successful dump today. Was about 150 lbs.”
3. “This brain sucking project must be a big @#$% deal.”
2. “If I had a nickel for every time Barack puts papers in my personal safe, I’d have, um, a lot of nickels.”
1. “After this is over, I am going to look up the website number for this place.”
______________
“I like pie.”
Bo uses Joe just like a “ho”,
To lie, stroke, and suck up.
But Joe’s a ho Bo can’t control,
He’s an @ss hat run amok.
“Respect cannot be learned, purchased or acquired – it can only be earned” (Anon.)
“Men are respectable only as they respect”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Obama” dreadfully tinny word. Bleh.
“the procedure is still in its infancy, and requires a lot of brain activity to pick up on.”
ummm I’m pretty sure that precludes reading Biden’s mind
@ EJ
Well yes, but Science! will solve that problem. I said that.
I did say that, right?
Science! can do anything.
Even make the invisible unicorns Obama gave us, visible. Some day.
Thank you, Science!
biden’s brain wasn’t hacked – it was devoured by a virus.
unlike clinton’s brain, that was full of trojans…
Biden is safe…for alas, one must possess a brain before one’s brain can be hacked. On the bright side, he is safe from an attack by brain eating zombies.
Q: Hey girl. You thinking what I’m thinking? A: Yes I am Joe, but where are we going to find a fifty gallon drum of mayonnaise and a cattle prod at two AM in the morning?
“….and don’t call me Shirley.”
You canot retrieve a value from a null set.
M-o-o-n spells moon
Biden only has two thoughts that randomly pop into his head : Where is my finger? And also : This finger smells like poo.