I never got the whole skinhead thing. What does white supremacy have to do with not having hair?
“You said anyone could do a better job than me, but look how wrong you are!” -Jimmy Carter speech at DNC, presumably
“So now that I have a Mac, how do I keep people from assuming I’m a douche?” -most common question for Apple Geniuses
My sister has a cover on her Mac that makes it look like a PC. “You’re kind of pretentious for a PC user… wait a second!”
Tip for Romney: Act like you’re above all the muckraking by responding to charges by talking like Thor for the Avengers.
When Americans win the gold in the Olympics, during the medal ceremony they should play the theme to Team America.
What I mainly want from politics is I don’t want useless jackasses trying to control me, and it’s always asking way too much.
Better response for Romney to Obama’s charges: “My righteous fist seeks his face!”
I heard from a reliable source that Romney cut off a gay kid’s hair, gave him cancer, and then tied him to the roof of his car. Even worse, I heard Obama was president during these last four awful years.
“I had to overcome many hurdles to get to this point.” -Olympic hurdler
“Oh, wow! Dat diver done dove!” -me as an Olympics dive competition commentator
“Hmm, a road. I guess I should build a business here.” -how businesses are made, by Obama’s understanding
I hope Romney nominates a rogue VP who doesn’t play by the rules. But not Cheney again.
Mitt Romney is going to use his rich powers to give you cancer and dance a horse on your grave.
Obama is just a blue collar guy who worked his way up in the memoir factory earning a nickel per memoir he wrote about himself. He made eighty million dollars doing that.
Mitt Romney left a woman to drown in a car or am I getting him confused with someone else?
Out of nowhere, Buttercup said, “I’m sorry, Daddy,” and hugged me. Did she finally figure out I’m a failure?
I thought she’d have to be at least two before should could comprehend that one.
Why would I download the Romney app to find his VP pick? Somehow I think I’ll still hear it quicker on Twitter.
Mitt Romney is going to use his rich powers to give you cancer and dance a horse on your grave.
Romney turned me into a newt.
I got better.
How many members of the US Women’s Olympic Trampoline Team got their start on The Man Show?
Romney drank my milkshake!
@2: I don’t know, but I probably wish it were more.
Thoughts on the Olympics:
* The women’s floor exercise and balance beam are mainly hand waiving arguments.
* Why do the women’s male coaches need to hug and kiss them so much after a victory?
* All the inventors of synchronized events need to be synchronously exterminated.
* I miss Peggy Fleming’s “Oh, look at that extension!” ice skating comments. Wait. Wrong Olympics. (Fleming? Frank? Related?)
* Bob Costas opening piece every night makes me think the Olympics are more important than they really are.
Isn’t Bob Costas like 3000 years old now? I think he did his first Olympics in Athens, at the actual first Olympics where he landed the interview with Heracles who won gold in every single event.
That guy doesn’t age!
Keln, Bob Costas is so old that his first games were actually broadcast from Alexandria, Egypt at the Pharaoh’s Slave Games in 2100 B.C. Apparently, at that time, the most popular event was the head toss (forerunner of the shot put).
You should be so lucky to be Bob Costas. Jim McKay was the announcer before Costas, and McKay did it for about 167 years. McKay’s first Olympics go back to time when good commentating consisted of, “Ug. Ug, ug.”
This +infinity. This is pretty much exactly how I feel. You’re not smarter than me, so stop trying to tell me what I can and can’t do. )^@#$(& poiticians.
Out of nowhere, Buttercup said, “I’m sorry, Daddy,” and hugged me. Did she finally figure out I’m a failure?
Nah, she probably figured out that you are going to find out eventually about whatever it is she just did (e.g. Shaving the dog, crayon art on the wall behind the couch, donating your life savings to the Obama campaign on line, etc.)
““Hmm, a road. I guess I should build a business here.” -how businesses are made, by Obama’s understanding” don’t you mean “somebody, probably the government, should build me a business here”?
Drat! I was kinda hoping for Dick Cheney for VP again. I guess I could be molified by Don Rumsfeld.
“I had to overcome many hurdles to get to this point.” -Olympic hurdler
You didn’t hurdle that!
Mitt Romney is going to use his rich powers to give you cancer and dance a horse on your grave.
That horse will be a white Lippizaner and it’s not so much of a dance as doing the Goose-step with right leg and fore-hoof extended in salute.