It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome
So we don’t need to give up our useful occupations to replace people in the media, for the same reason that when a dancing monkey dances poorly, we don’t stop what we’re doing and dance in its place. We just need to train it better. And if that doesn’t work, we tie it up in a burlap sack and throw it in a bog . . . or I imagine that’s what we do. I’ve never actually dealt directly with monkeys. Anyway, no matter how frustrated you get, don’t tie up actors and journalists and throw them in a bog. Then I won’t get to find out what happens on my TV shows.
Aw, I was getting all happy until you said not to throw them in a bog. Trust me: your TV shows aren’t worth it.
Obviously, what is needed is a TV show where actors and journalists are thrown in a bog. Everybody wins!
Well, since actors and journalists came out of a swamp, they can certain go back.
Anyway, no matter how frustrated you get, don’t tie up actors and journalists and throw them in a bog. Then I won’t get to find out what happens on my TV shows.
Sounds to me as if it’s okay to tie journalists up and throw them in a bog, but not actors. I’d say that that’s a good start. Is it okay to hit actors with a Louisville Slugger? That sounds like a lot of fun to me.
“THE DEVIL’S WHORES”
[THROW THE MEDIA INTO HELL]
One day in hell, the Devil said,
“Come minions, let us think:
America’s out of sync,
They’re almost at the brink!
But our boy BO and his HO JOE are really getting hit,
Their lies just aren’t worth spit!
Their groupies might just quit!
What can we do to keep the Kool-Aid flowing?”
Lots of inventive things we’re said,
And pondered on that day—
But devils need not pray,
Nor will they ever go away!
They just get crazy devious,
Their speeches get more tedious,
Their falsehoods more mischievous!
And so it went till Satan stopped them all!
“We’re thinking far too hard right now,”
He exclaimed with a devilish grin,
“If we really want to win,
“We’ll rely on MEDIA’S sins!
“They’ll always claim that black is white,”
“And swear that “wrong is right”
“That way, we’ll top this fight.”
And the USA will fall to rise no more!
The POLLS and MEDIA WHORES were called in once again,
BO’s HOs talked everywhere,
Putting people in a scare,
Claiming truths that “just weren’t there”!
Thus BO the Liar and Joe the Clown,
Just turned truth upside down:
“We’re winning this Hands Down!”
Doubt us?—ask our MEDIA whores—they know it all!
NO RIGHTS RESERVED