Archive of entries posted on 14th December 2012

Link of the Day: The Shockingly Supportable 1840 Democrat Party Platform

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[High Praise! to Western Hero]

Holy SH*T I’m a Democrat!!!

Excerpt:

1. Resolved, That the federal government is one of limited powers, derived solely from the constitution, and the grants of power shown therein, ought to be strictly construed by all the departments and agents of the government, and that it is inexpedient and dangerous to exercise doubtful constitutional powers.

8 more equally sane-sounding planks at the link above.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Fools Susan Rice Thug PayPal Races

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The New Cabinet So Far

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So my editorial defending Susan Rice wasn’t enough to save her. So now they’ll just have to find another dishonest, incompetent person to be Secretary of State. It will apparently be John Kerry, and he’ll probably do okay since he’ll fit in visiting Europe since he’s so French-looking. He can tell everybody there how he served in Vietnam; he likes telling people that. Plus, I don’t know if there’s really thing other than that he’s ever done. Being a longtime Senator does seem very similar to being a loser slacker.

Oh, and I guess Hagel may be made Secretary of Defense. I hate Hagel. Remember when long ago I wrote about Donald Rumsfeld repeatedly pushing down a flight of stairs? Those were good times.

Trying to Prove Conservatives Deserve Violence

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The left are really trying to work hard to prove that Steven Crowder deserved to get punched in the face. Why? Because once again, they just don’t want to ever deal with anyone who disagrees with them and would rather violence be okay so we would all be too scared to oppose them. Because at heart, the left in America are a bunch of fascists.

Hey, can you think of any other group in history that were a bunch of race-obsessed fascists?

A Marine Being Held Hostage… in Mexico?

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Have you seen about this Marine being held in Mexico for declaring to Mexican customs that he had an antique rifle? He’s now being held in Mexico on made up charges and his parents are being extorted for bribes. And so far the State Department hasn’t been much help (he’s been in prison for four months). I only heard about this because my Mom had the O’Reilly Factor on at her house, but it seems like it should be national outrage.

Can’t we work out a deal with Mexico? We’ll send you one million Mexicans who are currently in America in exchange for that Marine. Or two million. Or if the problem is the Mexican government is too incompetent and corrupt to handle this quickly, we can helpful kill everyone in the government so they can get a new one.

How can a country be so much smaller and weaker than us and be evil little jerks? How does that make any sense? People should be much more scared of us than to do things like this.

Cartoon of the day – spending

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[Source: Lisa Benson – GoComics]

Taxes aren’t the major problem. They’re a problem, to be sure, not in the way liberals, Democrats, and others with defective thinking think.

Taxes don’t need to be raised. Spending needs to be cut. Drastically.

Obama and his crew, though, aren’t serious about cutting spending. Because it will cut “entitlements.”

Here’s a secret: people are not entitled to entitlements. The name itself is a lie. It’s a “feel-good” kind of thing that makes the economy feel bad. Heck, not just feel bad, but be in intensive care.

If we don’t cut spending, and cut it drastically, the patient won’t make it.

Random Thoughts: Hold the Rice

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This movie seems unbelievably awesome. GlaDOS. Luther. Giant robots punching giant monsters.

You never know when we’ll encounter giant monsters which is why we need to start building the giant robots now. It’s just common sense.

With how long her Secretary of State hopes lasted, they should call her… MINUTE Rice.

I’m not sure whether I’m going to withdraw my name for consideration for Secretary of State. How much does it pay and do I have to travel?

What Obama needs to do right now is explain to Republicans that he won.

If John Kerry is sure to be Secretary of State, why the long face?

Being a programmer is like being Aquaman but you command computers instead of fish.

We’re too focused on the old kinds of racism that we don’t spend enough time condemning the newer but equally dumb kinds of racism.

See, sorta the whole point of not being racist is that skin color does NOT imply certain behaviors. Thought this was obvious.

NYTimes: “Let’s not be so quick to condemn the violence against Steven Crowder. BTW, the death toll from Sarah Palin’s target map is now at 532.”

I’m keeping a list of journalists who think it’s sometimes okay to punch journalists in the face. For future reference.

New Theory: Obviously Crowder first attacked the guy who punched him, but that guy won’t come forward because Crowder later murdered him.

A lot of times people will miss your dry humor. You need to moisten your humor so it will stick in people’s brains.

I know it’s about tanning related health issues, but an anti-dark skin ad makes me uncomfortable.

Sometimes I like to find random people on Twitter I’ve never interacted with and block them.

Yay! We’re Building the Death Star!

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Derek [High Praise!] emailed to let me know that the Death Star petition has met the required 25,000 signatures before today’s deadline.

Like I always say, if you’re going to go over the fiscal cliff anyway, you might as well fly off it in a planet-destroying space station.

Now, with that out of the way, Derek recommends starting petitions for dinosaurs with rocket launchers, the Mexi-Cannon and nuking the moon.

Any other suggestions?