Are we getting another war in the Middle East?

Wish I was an expert giving smart comments on big news. Maybe one day the big news item will be something I know a lot about, like Legend of Zelda.

So how many more turns do you think it is before our enemies in the Middle East get the drone technology?

Why are the Syria announcements while Obama is at the Dubya presidential library? “Quick; Obama is gone; let’s get important stuff done!”

If there are chemical attacks, I’m just glad we have Hagel, Kerry, and a sack of potatoes in charge. Oh; we don’t have a sack of potatoes?

Just thinking of going to some organic, hippie weapon store. “Our weapons are all chemical free!”

Was once told at a candle store the candles were “chemical free.” Bull. All matter is chemicals.

Do kids these days even know how to get past the alligators in Pitfall?

BTW, I got through the alligators by going the wrong direction so if you died, you ended up on the opposite side of the pond.

The Bush presidential library opening is making me nostalgic for the times we had presidents who were somewhat less horrible.

Being a terrorist puts the rest of your family in a really awkward position.

Obama: “There are other color lines that come after red.”

I’m pro-choice in that the less money the government takes from you, the more choices you have.

Journalism school is an actual thing? I thought when people referenced that they were just being ironic.

By the time I finish my presidency, instead of presidential library I’ll get to dedicate a filled Kindle.

Chris Matthews could get his tongue stuck to a flagpole and it wouldn’t make his top 1000 list of stupid.

Unless he did it in the summer.

Actually, I could see that: “I wanted to know what glue tasted like and then I wanted to know what the flagpole tasted like. Hardball!”

I don’t think most of our country’s current problems are solvable. Only good solution is to do a reboot on the U.S. and get new plotlines.

But not a darker grittier reboot.

Think of the American Revolution… but set in the modern era with a younger, more diverse cast.

Probably want to gender swap some of the main roles like they did with Starbuck in BSG.

And maybe Benjamin Franklin could be a dog this time… I’m just spitballing here.

Somehow I missed this in all the years of hearing incoherent screams: What exactly are the awful things the Kochs are supposed to have done?

The Boston bombers got welfare benefits? Man, I’d least hope American terrorists would be self-sufficient.

So how much longer is the New York Times going to be around?

When I think of what books would be in Chris Matthews’s library, I imagine Hop on Pop with a chewed up cover.

There’s something about your look of disgust at me I just don’t believe. #InfoWarsPickupLines

If you don’t go out with me, I’ll be blue… and not just because I ingested too much colloidal silver. #InfoWarsPickupLines

Heaven must be missing an angel… and if so, I blame the Jews. #InfoWarsPickUpLines