The Suspects

So the right were all like, “I bet they’re Muslims!” — because, you know, history. And the left were all, “I hope it’s white people!” — because, you know, hopes of demagoguery. Ends up it’s white Muslims, so yay for everyone. But for the sake of tolerance, let’s act surprised that the suspects are Muslim.

And now I hope the Boston police safely get the last suspect — and anyone else if anyone else is involved — and isn’t very nice about it.

17 Comments

  1. “You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can be used against you, including your pressure cooker.”

    I’m trying to maintain a sense of humor here while Boston is in lockdown. But I think I’m failing.

  2. you know what’s odd… nobody is paying attention to the fact that the President got a letter laced with ricin…. I’m not sure if it’s because nobody really cares if Obama got a poisoned letter or because the guy who sent it is a left wing loon and doesn’t fit the media narrative… but just thought something should be said.

  3. According to the uncle of the two suspects: 1) they’re losers because they wouldn’t assimilate, 2) they’re ethnic Chechins (the uncle may have mentioned that they were from Kyrgistan-which was spotlighted by the esteemed Viet Nam veteran, and uber genius, John Kerry), 3) oh, yeah, they’re Muslim.

    Also, the media are still making like they’re chasing their own hind ends.

  4. In response, Janet Napolitano was overheard to say, “Well, the fact that two Muslim youth conducted these acts of terror proves that we must step up our investigations and searches of Christian youth and elderly white women. You can rest assured that we will learn from this experience and increase our crackdown on Tea Party operations across the country.”

  5. At approx. 2047 Hrs EDT, Suspect #2 was brought into custody by members of various levels of law enforcement. Initial reports have him alive, condition guarded, being transported to an undisclosed hospital for examination.

    Look for ACLU lawyers, recommended by USAG Eric Holder, to immediately step up to represent this callous lump of Chihuahua excrement.

    Pray that the Mass State Police interrogators wring some useful intel out of him before the Fibbies wrap him up in plush batting and subject him to vicious pokes with soft cushions directly after being torturously thrust into THE COMFY CHAIR. This being standard interview and interrogation methodology which replaced the icky-poo yucky waterboarding and fun with wet sponges and car batteries.

  6. Hey Bunker, I gather you’re a fellow MA-hole. So hugs to you. I’m so glad this f-er is in custody. This jackhole has no idea. Don’t even worry about Holder. I’m telling you: New Englanders are everywhere. This guy will pay dearly. Trust.

  7. Carolyn, yep, 4th gen. Up from Rox and Southie to Chestnut Hill and Beverly.

    Family in the Staties have been feeding me backchannel and I’ve no concerns there, I just know how feds like to poke their beaks in, and how Obama will try to take credit for everything from fastroping in and tossing flashbangs to riding in the ambulance and checking on the little bastid’s IV drip.

  8. So I guess it was just a coincidence that FEMA was doing a terror training drill in boston on the same day as the marathon – and what was the training – A BOMBING.

    Just like it was a coincidence that FEMA did a terror training in newtown on the same day the sandy hook shooting happened – what was their training on that day? MASS SHOOTING!

    Cripes they even tried to invent an AR-15 this time around, too – but nobody ran with it and reported it all over like they did with newtown.

    So while the one hand is performing a trick in front of you, pay attention to what the other hand is doing, and ask yourself about that internet security bill, the nonpartisan report that says at least our last 3 administrations, present included, have gone so far and beyond their bounds in terms of interrogation techniques….ask yourself what happened that gold was slammed down into the $1300s…ask yourself why all kinds of economic indicators tanked hard after obama’s meeting with them last week.

    If you still want to believe the “official” stories, I’ve got a bridge in brooklyn to sell you and a nice big blue pill for you to take. The american people are getting set up.

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