Straight Line of the Day: Since the Girl Ghostbusters Movie Lost $70 Million, The Next Ghostbusters Remake Will Feature…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Since the Girl Ghostbusters movie lost $70 million, the next Ghostbusters remake will feature…

21 Comments

    • …prominent roles for LGBTQ scientists of various gender identities, ethic mixes and colors…

      . . . and any negative comments or reviews will be punishable as a hate crime. Also, everyone will be obligated to buy tickets, or pay a penalty – um, I mean tax – to the Federal Department of Enforcing Progressive Groupthink – um, I mean the IRS.

  1. …. MST7000K robots built right in down front.

    … four Keymasters (encryption experts) trying to revive the Gatekeeper’s (Lois Lerner’s) dead Slimers (emails). Cameos by Hillary (as Zuul) and Loretta Lynch (“OK. So she’s the DOJ.”)

  2. … a bunch of hard-core Conservatives (as imagined by Liberals who’ve never met one) hell-bent on destroying the environment with their four unlicensed mobile nuclear accelerators.

    It turns out their spiritual Armageddon was just a training warm-up for the real thing.

    In an updated twist, the ghosts themselves have to summon up Gozer (Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Gozer the Traveler, Volguus Zildrohar and Lord of the Sebouillia), who takes the form of a gigantic Margaret Cho to save the humanity she so thoroughly despises.

    Earth is saved!!! …and slips into a thousand years of darkness.

  3. …hot chicks.

    …hot chicks in bikinis building a wall. At the end have newspaper headline: Wall Fails, Ghostbusters Save The Day Against Homegrown Ghosts, President Trump Can Suck It Ha Ha Ha! (Surefire Oscar winner)

    …team made up of wisecracking punk rocker strippers, Ghost Busty and her ditzy cousin Most Busty.

    …more brawn but less budget.

  4. Since the Girl Ghostbusters movie lost $70 million, the next Ghostbusters remake will feature…

    an hour and a half of a sequel Louis Tully party.

    Casper and Spooky cartoons.

    the ghosts of Vince Foster, Ron Brown, the Benghazi 4, and other victims of Arkancide.

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