Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The first thing Trump signed on Monday…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The first thing Trump signed on Monday…
…was his name
Literal sarcasm, literally.
The first thing Trump signed on Monday…
his new Presidential “ID” so he can use the staff breakroom at the White House.
the list of people who’s permissions to immigrate to Canada can be expedited, no need to keep Hollywood waiting.
The first thing Trump signed on Monday…
a receipt acknowledging services received from White House Fumigation Services, Inc. The overtime included in the bill was significant, but justified given the eight year stench requiring cleansing.
…the lease which transfers all utilities out of Barack’s name.
…was the “we’re #1/Hawaiian Good Luck” gesture to the media.
Which he does every morning, before his coffee.
The first thing Trump signed on Monday…
were letters of transit that not even Nazi Germany could rescind.
Heh. A rich vein.
New York Times Subscriber: We read five times that you were killed, in five different places.
Victor Laszlo: As you can see, it was true every single time.
.
Hillary Supporter: I’ve often speculated why you don’t return to power. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator’s wife? I like to think you killed a man. It’s the romantic in me.
Hillary: It was a combination of all three.
.
Pro-Obamacare Woman: With the whole world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love.
Anti-Obamacare Man: Yeah, it’s pretty bad timing. Where were you, say, ten years ago?
Pro-Obamacare Woman: [trying to be cheerful] Ten years ago? Well, let’s see…
[remembers, smiles] Oh, yes, I was having a brace put on my teeth. Where were you?
Anti-Obamacare Man: Looking for a job.
.
Major Stresser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine Muslims in their beloved Paris?
Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris.
Major Stresser: Can you imagine us in London?
Rick: When you get out of there, ask me!
Major Stresser: How about New York?
Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Studies Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.
.
Hillary: By the way, last night you evinced an interest in the Wikileaks informant.
Press: Yes.
Hillary: I believe you have a message for him?
Press: Nothing important, but may I speak to him now?
Huma: You would find the conversation a trifle one-sided. The Wikileaks informant is dead.
Press: Oh.
Hillary: I am making out your report now. We haven’t quite decided yet whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape.
DNC: Care to donate 20,000?
Government worker: Make it 10,000. I’m a poor corrupt official.
DNC: We will make sure you get a raise.
Government worker: Make it 20,000.
In Washington DC there are vultures! Vultures everywhere!
was the top of John Koskinen’s bald head. First he wrote “You’re fired”, and then he signed it.
… were the payroll checks. Fewer than last week.
… was for the press: an autographed biasball.
… a note excusing Obama and Biden from class for the rest of the term.
… yes, any kind of class.
…was a gross of MAGA hats, for the CIA…
A butt load of change of address cards.