The Insurance Shop Sketch

(With Apologies to Monty Python)

"If I don't buy your bloody insurance, the Ministry of Silly Walks will make me pay a fine"

If I don’t buy your bloody insurance, the Ministry of Silly Walks will make me pay a fine

Customer walks into the Henry Fortis’s Obamacare Exchange and walks past the bouzouki player.

Customer: Good Morning.

Fortis: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Healthcare Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Fortis: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was sitting in the public library on K Street just now, skimming through “It Takes a Village” by Hillary Clinton, and I suddenly felt my pre-existing condition flare up.

Fortis: Pre-existing condition, sir?

Customer: Ulcer.

Fortis: Eh?

Customer: Someone needs to pay for my Nexium!

Fortis: Ah, Nexium!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, “a little quasi-single-payer coverage will do the trick,” so, I curtailed my Clintonizing activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some risk-mitigating contractuals!

Fortis: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some health insurance.

Fortis: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Fortis: Sorry?

Customer: Ah don’t feel no ways tahrd of it!

Fortis: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some insurance please, my good man.

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