The Mayor of New York City is now offering counseling and safe spaces to those city employees who are stressed after Trump’s surprise election victory.

Absolutely. Can you imagine the tragedy if a DMV worker were too shell-shocked to be surly?

Critics have submitted a petition for Wonder Woman to be stripped of her honorary UN ambassadorship, claiming she’s a “white woman of impossible proportions… the epitome of a ‘pin-up’ girl.”

Fine. Round up the signers and shove ’em into the engine intakes of her invisible jet.

Also, she’s a fictional character. Why are you angry?

In one of President Obama’s final speeches as President, he said that America still hasn’t “overcome the legacy of slavery“.

Really? Perspective – it’s been over longer than Guy Lombardo, flappers, and gramophones that play wax cylinders. Maybe it’s still here because someone profits from not letting it go?

In Mexico, a village tired of having its citizens abducted, kidnapped the local drug boss’s mom.

Not sure if that’s a real news item or the plot of Three Amigos 2.

President Obama said he wanted to punish Russia for “election interference”.

Oh. What’s he going to do? Become President of Russia?

President Obama said he’d have beat Trump if he could’ve run for a third term.

If so, then the Electoral College is only my second-favorite part of the Constitution.