“Nancy, didn’t you just love that movie about the publishing of The Pentagon Papers? That brave Meryl Streep. Devin Nunes must have loved it, too, because he’s doing the same thing.”
Rumack: All right, now we know what we’re up against. Every Democrat in this town who heard the FISA report will become violently ill in the next half hour.
Elaine: Just how serious is it?
Rumack: Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat.
[Pelosi starts suffering from these]
Rumack: When the virus penetrates to red-blooded Americans, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash…
[Pelosi suffers from those as well]
Rumack: …then the I.G. goes to work on the central intelligence system, severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling.
[Pelosi also suffers from these]
Rumack: At this point, the entire dirty-tricks surveillance system collapses, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. [Pelosi does]
Rumack: . . . Until finally, the poor bastards are reduced to quivering wasted pieces of jelousy.
Not to nitpick, well actually it is a nitpick, but you imply Nancy as being part of the group “Red-Blooded American”. I must give you a serious Mr. Spock Eyebrow raise on that.
Valid objection. What I meant was when the virus of corruption — that is, the news of it — spread to R.B. (R&B?) Americans, the consequences would follow; but it was unnecessarily confusing, of course, mentioned in the same breath with the virus infecting the Democrats & Pelosi.
Close my eyes
I can kiss you,
Tomorrow
Dismiss you;
Remember it’ll always be true:
Though I wish I were gay
When you’re home, every day
I’l defend my male hormones from you.
(Chorus:)
All malevolent
I will censor you
All malevolent
Darling eye-bleach too . . .
That’s the look of someone trying to figure out how to get rid of the terrible taste in her her mouth after eating crow. Also not looking forward to the midterm ‘sh*t on a shingle’ sandwich that she’s going to be gnawing on in November.
Sh-t for brains and loose dentures? Well we can’t help you with both of those problems, but we can help you with one of them….next time you go to a SOTU address try Fixodent.
I once asked walruskkkch that same question about when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor and he said he had a toga party. I think we should have him investigated for that.
I would like, at this point in time, express my deep concern for accusations that I was, or in any way, had been involved in posting something of that nature, or any nature, that could be construed, in any fashion, as not being both relevant to, and based upon, another post which would be, in any way shape or form, not of a level of humorous content either implied, subtle or outright, excellent. I can only speculate, and call for an investigation to prove, beyond any acceptable measure, that my handle, and or account or any known or unknown association from this site, was hacked by a party or parties unknown with plausible and possible connections to Russia and/or any party or parties associated with forces and elements incapable of understanding my sense of humor or creative brilliance.
So, Mr. Walrus — just to clarify — are you or are you not saying that you in fact did not (to the best of your knowledge) deny having a complete lack of foreknowledge of, or participation in, what you deny had not taken place? Or, to the contrary, are you contradicting that affirmation, or the denial?
“I hope that my face isn’t frozen in this position.”
“I knew that I shouldn’t have gotten that botox injection this afternoon.”
Nancy has a stroke of genius, absent the actual genius part.
“Damn crumbs getting stuck in my teeth.”
Should be hung in Post Offices nationwide.
Just should be hung.
“Nooo Mr. Trump I expect you to die!”
I’m not saying she is an Alien shedding her human skin mask… but she’s an Alien shedding her human skin mask.
The Pelosi is unclean, for although she chews the cud, she does not have the divided hoof.
Nancy unsure what to do with her recent meeting with Bill Clinton.
Spit or swallow…the choice is yours.
“Oil can! Oil can!”
Fake Straw Man; Invisible Straw.
Nancy is channeling her inner Hunchback of Notre Dame. “Sanctuary Cities! Sanctuary Cities!”
I caaan’t hear yooou!
Nancy contemplates her most enduring question, “What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it is all about?”
I resemble this remark…
You must tell us what that is all about.
You poked the Hokie.
Somehow that HAS to make it into an Urban Slang Dictionary.
(TM) 2018
“I’ve lost my Monocle! Oh the humanity!”
Why did I eat those peanuts…they get under my false teeth….
What teeth??
She has a craw. The Nunes memo has stuck in it.
“Not craw, craw!!!”
Outstanding, Get Smart from about a million years ago. Still funny.
“Look at my impression of Chelsea Clinton!”
Crap! The lower part of my facelift just failed!
“Beer goggles, of course, have limitations. See illustration.”>
“Hmmm, did I remind Manuel to water the Rose bushes this morning?”
Or Harv Weinstein?
Do Rose bushes need that much protein?
Man, these Everlasting Gobstoppers are the Schnizzle!
Fifteen is my limit on Schnizzle. ~ Sheriff Bart
Nancy contemplates hocking a loogie at Trump as he exits after his speech.
Walrus you’re a sick pup.
It ain’t me, it is the material I have to work with.
CBS Photoshopped out the part where she was making spit bubbles.
Why the long face?
A question usually reserved for John Kerry.
Illustrated definition of “Eating crow” both as the subject of the eating and the eater of the subject.
Just add a cartoon thought bubble. No text – just an empty thought bubble.
Won’t fully work, it still implies she is capable of thought even if it is an empty one.
Nancy Pelosi… Sooper Genius.
Well she did get millions in contributions from the Acme Corp.
If you’re on the Beltway and Old Dumber goes beep beep.
Push her aside or Ginsburg may be asleep.
Old, Dumber, Old, Dumber, running her mouth all day.
Even the DNC can’t make her change her ways……
…(Thought bubble) “Captain Queeg told me these ball bearings would help me stay calm…”
“Nancy, didn’t you just love that movie about the publishing of The Pentagon Papers? That brave Meryl Streep. Devin Nunes must have loved it, too, because he’s doing the same thing.”
And Nancy bids fond farewell to the giant blue wave of November 2018. Adieu! Adieu!
“Here’s my impression of Captain Pike.”
The Mismanagerie
But I didn’t have the Salmon Mousse!
Let’s face it, Nancy is not going to throw up in front of Chuck Schumer, she is going to throw up ON Chuck Schumer!
I could only give bacon to this once, but I’ll add the coveted “I Wish I’d Said That” (IWIST) Award.
Excellent SLotD, Harvey!
I miss the caption entries we used to do.
Nancy’s “Must not smile” face goes over OSHA mandated recommended safe levels. Automated shutdown sequencing commenced.
That paste tasted funny.
Again, the coveted “I Wish I’d Said That” (IWIST) Award.
I’ll be baach.
Garbage Pail Kid all grown up.
Lord John Whorfin attempts to take control.
Nancy is auditioning for the role of “Two Faced” in the next Batman movie.
Rumack: All right, now we know what we’re up against. Every Democrat in this town who heard the FISA report will become violently ill in the next half hour.
Elaine: Just how serious is it?
Rumack: Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat.
[Pelosi starts suffering from these]
Rumack: When the virus penetrates to red-blooded Americans, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash…
[Pelosi suffers from those as well]
Rumack: …then the I.G. goes to work on the central intelligence system, severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling.
[Pelosi also suffers from these]
Rumack: At this point, the entire dirty-tricks surveillance system collapses, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. [Pelosi does]
Rumack: . . . Until finally, the poor bastards are reduced to quivering wasted pieces of jelousy.
or jealousy
Not to nitpick, well actually it is a nitpick, but you imply Nancy as being part of the group “Red-Blooded American”. I must give you a serious Mr. Spock Eyebrow raise on that.
Valid objection. What I meant was when the virus of corruption — that is, the news of it — spread to R.B. (R&B?) Americans, the consequences would follow; but it was unnecessarily confusing, of course, mentioned in the same breath with the virus infecting the Democrats & Pelosi.
Mea gulpa.
And there are few things that can pull me up short like a “serious Mr. Spock eyebrow raise.”
Thought that what was what you were going for. As usual you have done a great job and I just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Ha! Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up typos!
If Steny doesn’t stop farting I’m gonna smack him!
” Check out my Monica Lewinsky spitball”!
FURBALL A COMING!!!!
a.k.a. “Steny Ahoyer!”
Hoark! HOARK!
” … and your little dog too.”
“Come to think of it, there are worse things than pretending to listen to this speech. Like being Mr. Pelosi, for instance.”
Close my eyes
I can kiss you,
Tomorrow
Dismiss you;
Remember it’ll always be true:
Though I wish I were gay
When you’re home, every day
I’l defend my male hormones from you.
(Chorus:)
All malevolent
I will censor you
All malevolent
Darling eye-bleach too . . .
(Followed by guitar lick. No other kind.)
“I . . . am . . not . . .
. . . an . . enema!”
“I’m melting…. melting… Oh what a world.”
You killed her….you killed the Wicked Witch of the West!
“Damn…Why did I lend Joe Kennedy my Chapstick…”
Because it was that, or take a ride in his Oldsmobile.
…post Nancy’s last buttocks treatment…. Michael Moore sits on her face to flatten all the wrinkles out.
Yeeeeeu!
Congressional $perm bank
U….G….L…Y
You ain’t got no alibi
You Ugly.
Even Chuck Schumer say you ugly.
Nancy Pelosi opens the Ark of the Covenant with disastrous results.
… for the Ark!
Is this the BEFORE or the AFTER picture? Hard to tell.
During.
{Nazi sturmfuhrer, looking at Pelosi’s plan:} “It’s beautiful!”
{face begins to melt when he looks too long at her} “Ahhhh!”
Call in the taxidemocratist
TaxiDemIst
I knew I couldn’t trust the farts.
Bill Clinton, having mastered the art of astral projection, realizes he still needs to work on his aim…
Nancy Pelosi now understands how McKayla Maroney felt after losing the gold medal.
The look you get when smacked in the face with the truth.
Hmmmm… these Tide Pods are chewy.
When you get your Preparation H and Polident mixed up.
If you’re coming from San Francisco
be sure to have better fitting dentalware…
When you finally realize why Trump is a better President than Hillary ever could be.
That’s the look of someone trying to figure out how to get rid of the terrible taste in her her mouth after eating crow. Also not looking forward to the midterm ‘sh*t on a shingle’ sandwich that she’s going to be gnawing on in November.
Everything I know I learned from Maxine Waters.
The exception to the rule that answers the question of whether a fish has lips.
Mona Lisa, Da Vinci’s first try. After an evening spent drinking.
Holy **** , that was funny! Made me spit out my drink! Now I can’t look at that picture without thinking: Mona Lisa meets Guernica !
Sh-t for brains and loose dentures? Well we can’t help you with both of those problems, but we can help you with one of them….next time you go to a SOTU address try Fixodent.
C’mon, Nukers!
We’re at 93 responses.
Let’s make this Straight Line of the Day a member of the Hundred Responses Club.
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
“Well, that’s not funny.”
“But it’s my only line!”
Ha! Done!
I once asked walruskkkch that same question about when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor and he said he had a toga party. I think we should have him investigated for that.
… and we’re just the guys to do it!!
{Enters chat room} “Walrus! My Man!”
Oppo! Duuuuude!
I would like, at this point in time, express my deep concern for accusations that I was, or in any way, had been involved in posting something of that nature, or any nature, that could be construed, in any fashion, as not being both relevant to, and based upon, another post which would be, in any way shape or form, not of a level of humorous content either implied, subtle or outright, excellent. I can only speculate, and call for an investigation to prove, beyond any acceptable measure, that my handle, and or account or any known or unknown association from this site, was hacked by a party or parties unknown with plausible and possible connections to Russia and/or any party or parties associated with forces and elements incapable of understanding my sense of humor or creative brilliance.
So, Mr. Walrus — just to clarify — are you or are you not saying that you in fact did not (to the best of your knowledge) deny having a complete lack of foreknowledge of, or participation in, what you deny had not taken place? Or, to the contrary, are you contradicting that affirmation, or the denial?
Please answer “yes” or “no.”
“yes or no”
Oh dang, the crow is trying to come back up again