Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
an electrical shock system that forces you to a knee. Whether you want to or not.
A reasonable price tag.
That’s just crazy talk.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
I’m not saying it’s Aliens but… it’s Aliens.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
frikkin’ laser beams.
…self-tying laces for the digitally-challenged…
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
Colin Kaepernick to help you lace them up personally.
…jump-assist inserts by the Acme Company…
…Hookers & blow.
Didn’t DeLorean try that marketing technique back in the 80’s?
What happened to Henchmannumber1?
. . . We . . . we don’t speak of him…
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
we can’t tell you exactly what it is but when you say “Go-Go-Gadget!” you will find out.
…a stealth mode…
Jees, and I already had trouble just finding my socks.
I can temporarily still see my feet.
You will soon suffer from de-feet
Your comment stands on nothing, NOTHING!
You’re such a heel.
And you are a sole of wit.
People call me a sole all the time. Like “get outta here a sole.”
People call me displaced cowboy.
Call me an Original Gangsta of Love.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
feet already in ’em!
(Available mainly in Seattle)
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
wings.
Stamp-ons?
Water.
Gross!
You only have to buy one pair.
Yuck!
I don’t know, why a Yuck?
Why a-no chick in?
You try to wear a chicken and you’ll find out why-a no chicken.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
a money back guarantee that you will be able to have sex with any woman you desire.*
*Some restrictions may apply.
Quite a lot, actually.
(– The Rat Tart Sketch)
How about the “Crunchy Frog”?
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
a sign you can place on the Moon with your new, mad hops.
… and a revocation of your White Man card if you start calling them “kicks.”
Neat-o Daddy-o.
Check out my Red Ball Keds. (“So Sexist!”) (Faints.)
Chuck Taylors.
“You dont like my tennies?”
(“That’s gotta be sexist!”)
(“Or, at least, elitist!”)
(Faints again.)
Tennies are numeralist.
And reality-centrist.
{Feints.}
I gave myself a thumbs-up for that one.
I’m tired of playing by The Man’s game!
You can thumb yourself up?
Very Flexible.
Um, no retort possible.
Well played, Mr. Bond….
But this is not the last you have heard of me…
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
a third shoe for those transitioning to tripedal.
… or for any transitioning — “Almost-Across” Trainers.
And let’s have an honest discussion about Bi-peds . . . .
Are you Pedocurious?
Yuck! (Although the pun was stolen from the me five minutes from now, if I thought of it. And is corn-y.)
These bouts were made for Walken.
It’s a Chris we all must bear at some point in time.
{Walrus flicks cigar ashes and waggles fake eyebrows over fake mustache. But he should have said “Well, . . . “}
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
built in whoopie cushions to amuse your friends and distract your court opponents.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
fries on the side.
aka shoestring potatoes.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
a Gillette razor you emasculated soy boy.
So they’re not going to pump ™ you up. Sad!
Listen to me now and believe me later.
Jah, and think about it some other time.
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
wainscotting.
“They’ve said it again!”
+1.
So out-there I laughed.
Good, woody word!
“Lemon curry?”
Better than the Salmon Mousse.
Bleah!
…a line of credit so you can afford them.
Their toxic masculinity has been removed.
I’m sure soccer moms across the country would really like to know how that is done.
I would think having them play soccer is a start.
… it comes in extra-large Ed Sullivan size.
Do I really have to say it?
…they throw you to your knees during the Star Spangled Banner
I like this dig so much you deserve bacon, but Walrus was there first (see #1)
…a picture of the 8-year-old Chinese “artisan” who made them.
deserves the gold
…a rotary dial phone in the heel
Complimentary “Cone of Silence”?
Hymie the Robot wants his feet back.
Instructions on how to really ‘tie one on’.
…a free pair of Adidas.
I would prefer Puma “Clydes”.
… but “you’ll have to buy them to see what’s in dem.”
.. but the Trump Shutdown is preventing them from telling you about it! WACHH*!
*Women and children hit hardest.
WAACH! ™
… a GPS unit that automatically issues you a Jeff Foxworthy sign if you approach a funeral wearing them.
I already used the “cab forward” and “Fahrvergnügen” jokes so I’m all out right now.
Please stand by.
All-Wheel Drive!
Fahrvergnügen!
(c) Oppo
He who hesitates is lost.
An Alexa command interface, So you can say, “Alexa, Kick his ass.”
… the elimination of their trademark swoop, along with an abject apology to any Indians who felt that their war whoop was being referenced, and any Poows who felt they were being called backwards.
Plus they are only available in Rainbow.
… Also in “I’m Here Now Campaigning in the Heartland” sizes, for Democrats. Complete with denim. Bus or pickup oppo-tional.
Patty Murray editions.
built in antitoxins to repel over-masculine persons.
Catnip shoelaces
Nike’s new shoe comes with an unexpected feature…
Left only pairs for hadrcore Democrats.
After 85 comments,
Do you ever get the feeling that the owners are asking each other,
“What The Frank is going on”?
I’m sure they do ask that question but I think it’s best if we keep them in the dark….unless they have a need to know…which they don’t.
I thought the site ownership was shuttered due to the government shutdown. I’m almost tempted to try some inappropriate language to see how long it will be in Awaiting Moderation status.
…undercoating.
…giving white men the ability to jump.
Does a POC own the High Jump record?
…fourteen pairs of baby daddy baby shoes.
…self sagging pants.
…a Nike nightlight, for those sleepless nights of new Nike excitement. And a fake man card.