Unfortunately, the narration sounds like every motivational video and stockholder presentation ever — which I guess is pretty much what it is.
A computer-generated Turing Test of cliches presented in random order:
…
“Our successes build upon one another, and amplify what is possible.”
“It’s time we take the next great leap.”
“We’re building the next great chapter [apologies for the mixed metaphor] of American exploration.”
“So we can go beyond . . . to expand what’s possible.”
[“We must move forward, not backward. Upward, not downward. . . . “]
“A sustainable* {*That’s a useful word. We’ll try to get that in once again} mission.”
“Pressing our pioneering* {*That’s another useful word. We’ll try to get that in once again.} spirit into every component.”
“Defining our resolve with every line of code.” {Ambitious goal}
“and securing our success with every welcomed partnership”
{Make sure the video shows lots of diversity}
[But don’t be too blatant about it]
{Actually, make sure you are.}
[In your faces, white male scientists!]
“This is not about flags and footprints” [Take that, anyone who took pride in Apollo 11!!!!11!!1!!1!!]
“This is about sustainable {*Ahh, there it is again}
science; and feeding forward [if you will forgive an odd figure of speech]
the advance of the [cliche alert] human spirit” {To whom is it being fed?}
“We are the pioneers” {*Ahh, there it is again};
“the star sailers,
the thinkers,
the visionaries,
the doers”
[The music makers
and the dreamers of dreams — Willy Wonka]
“And because [cliche alert] we stand on the shoulders of giants”
“Every day — every mission — we advance this call.”
Note to self….. get Mike Rowe to narrate all the training films used to motivate my (future) army of henchmen. He makes even a collection of catch-phrases and buzz-word-soup sound important.
“That’s no moon.”
We were supposed to be way past Mars by now.
Unfortunately, the narration sounds like every motivational video and stockholder presentation ever — which I guess is pretty much what it is.
A computer-generated Turing Test of cliches presented in random order:
…
“Our successes build upon one another, and amplify what is possible.”
“It’s time we take the next great leap.”
“We’re building the next great chapter [apologies for the mixed metaphor] of American exploration.”
“So we can go beyond . . . to expand what’s possible.”
[“We must move forward, not backward. Upward, not downward. . . . “]
“A sustainable* {*That’s a useful word. We’ll try to get that in once again} mission.”
“Pressing our pioneering* {*That’s another useful word. We’ll try to get that in once again.} spirit into every component.”
“Defining our resolve with every line of code.” {Ambitious goal}
“and securing our success with every welcomed partnership”
{Make sure the video shows lots of diversity}
[But don’t be too blatant about it]
{Actually, make sure you are.}
[In your faces, white male scientists!]
“This is not about flags and footprints” [Take that, anyone who took pride in Apollo 11!!!!11!!1!!1!!]
“This is about sustainable {*Ahh, there it is again}
science; and feeding forward [if you will forgive an odd figure of speech]
the advance of the [cliche alert] human spirit” {To whom is it being fed?}
“We are the pioneers” {*Ahh, there it is again};
“the star sailers,
the thinkers,
the visionaries,
the doers”
[The music makers
and the dreamers of dreams — Willy Wonka]
“And because [cliche alert] we stand on the shoulders of giants”
“Every day — every mission — we advance this call.”
“And . . . {big finish} [cliche alert] . . . we’re just getting started.”
Dilbert’s Pointy-Haired Boss would feel good having given this speech.
They may stand on the shoulders of giants but they are still midget ankle-biters.
Yeah, I was gagging a bit on the fake diversity, but… I don’t know… Space is different.
I’m old and bitter and cynical, but space still makes me feel like a kid, and that part of me wants to believe all the cliches.
was that put together by some Hollywood producer who got off with community service for doing something naughty because he was “important”?
Note to self….. get Mike Rowe to narrate all the training films used to motivate my (future) army of henchmen. He makes even a collection of catch-phrases and buzz-word-soup sound important.
Mike Rowe is the white Morgan Freeman