IMAO Time Machine: Secret Rules For Closed Senate Sessions

When the Senate slips into a closed session some super special secret rules apply. Here are just a few of them.

  • Standing Senate Rule .20 (the Teddy Kennedy Rule) – Closed session – Open Bar!
  • First Rule of Closed Session: Nobody talks about closed session!
  • Rule 2 – What happens in closed session STAYS in closed session.
  • Rule 3.14 – Everybody gets free pie, all you can eat. Mmmm pie.
  • Rule 5 – Senators must use secret handshake and refer to each other by their self-assigned top secret code names. Harry Reid’s is “H.R. Uber Smooth.”
  • Rule 32 – Casual Dress AKA Clothing optional.

There are, as indicated by the gaps, other super secret Senate rules but they are so secret even I don’t even know them. Or do I?

Unfortunately since you now know some of the secret rules, I must kill you all now. I’m sorry, really.

Update: It’s been pointed out that Rule 32 makes rule 2 a lot more interesting. My response to that is “What about all the pie and open bar? Don’t they juice things up too?”

Well, You Can’t Say This Isn’t Scientific Progress


“11,000 Scientists” Climate Emergency Petition Includes a Bunch of Fake Names

wattsupwiththat.com / Anthony Watts / Nov. 7, 2019

From the “there’s no quality control in climate science” department comes this laughable revelation, via the Australian:

Scientists’ Petition on Climate Crisis Blocked Over Fake Signatories

Dozens of signatories including Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter headmaster Albus Dumbledore from Hogwarts have been ­removed from an Alliance of World Scientists declaration of a “climate emergency.”

Access to the 11,000 name-petition that accompanied a statement of concern published in BioScience on Tuesday was blocked on Thursday.

A statement issued by ­Oregon State University said “an administrative error unfortunately saw the inclusion of a small number of invalid names.”

Twain’s Almanac

In 1865, Mark Twain was not yet a novelist; just a popular columnist writing sketches for newspapers (a proto-blogger). He was still pretty far behind FrankJ.

After a severe San Francisco earthquake on October 8th of that year, he provided these helpful forecasts in his “Page from A California Almanac.”

(Excerpts)

Oct. 19. — Look out for rain. It would be absurd to look in for it. The general depression of spirits increased.

Oct. 20.
— More weather.

Oct. 21.
— Same.

. . .

Oct. 23. — Mild, balmy earthquakes.

Oct. 24. — Shaky.

Oct. 25.
— Occasional shakes, followed by light showers of bricks and plastering. N.B.– Stand from under!

Oct. 26.
— Considerable phenomenal atmospheric foolishness. About this time expect more earthquakes; but do not look for them, on account of the bricks.

. . .

Oct. 29. — Beware!

Oct. 30. — Keep dark!

Oct. 31. — Go slow!

Nov. 1. — Terrific earthquake. This is the great earthquake month. More stars fall and more worlds are slathered around carelessly and destroyed in November than in any other month of the twelve.

Nov. 2. — Spasmodic but exhilarating earthquakes, accompanied by occasional showers of rain and churches and things.

Nov. 3. — Make your will.

Nov. 4. — Sell out.

Nov. 5. — Select your “last words.” Those of John Quincy Adams will do, with the addition of a syllable, thus: “This is the last of earthquakes.”

Nov. 6.
— Prepare to shed this mortal coil.

Nov. 7. — Shed!

Nov. 8. — The sun will rise as usual, perhaps; but if he does, he will doubtless be staggered some to find nothing but a large round hole eight thousand miles in diameter in the place where he saw this world serenely spinning the day before.

So look out tomorrow!


Straight Line of the Day: Wine Has Been Launched Into Space. Next Up…

Straight Line of the Day: Wine has been launched into space. Next up…


NASA meets Napa:

Bordeaux Wine Fired Into Space To Test Ageing
decanter.com | November 5, 2019 | Chris Mercer

A Northrop Grumman rocket blasted off from a NASA launchpad in Virginia on 2 November, sending the Bordeaux wines into space among 3,700kg of research and supply cargo that also included a zero-gravity baking oven.

But the wines were not part of the International Space Station’s Christmas dinner planning; researchers hope to study how radiation in space affects the ageing process.

It is part of a project involving several universities, including the University of Bordeaux’s ISVV wine institute, and led by a start-up company named Space Cargo Unlimited.

The Bordeaux wines will be stored on the ISS at 18 degrees Celsius for one year before being returned to earth and compared to a control sample that has been kept at the same temperature, NASA said in an explainer article.

The name of the Château involved has not been released.

It’s not the first time that wine has been sent to space. Château Lynch-Bages saw its 1975 vintage launched into space aboard NASA’s Discovery shuttle in 1985, returning to earth in 2015.

What will be studied?

The Bordeaux wines will be stored in a ‘Complex Microbiological System’ – or CommuBioS – according to NASA.

Scientists were keen to study how radiation and microgravity affected components in the wine, such as polyphenols, crystals and tannins.

That could offer clues on how to improve long-term storage of food and drink in space and also how the agriculture sector on earth might adapt to climate change.

Emmanuel Etcheparre, co-founder of Space Cargo Unlimited alongside entrepreneur Nicolas Gaume, told France’s Sud Ouest newspaper, ‘Ageing wine incorporates some of the essential elements of the terrestrial biological ecosystem, such as yeasts, bacteria, crystals, colloids and polyphenols.’

Space Cargo Unlimited’s website contained plans of future space research missions related to food and agriculture, as part of its ‘WISE’ project, over the next three years. This is set to include an experiment on how plants react to microgravity.


Butch and Sundance, One More Time

It seems I posted about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid a lot recently. Which I think is odd. So, why am I doing it again?

Well, on November 7, 1908, the duo were killed in Bolivia. I know, some think they weren’t. Okay.

I think we can all agree that whatever did happen, didn’t happen like in the movie.

[The YouTube]

I still like the movie, despite it playing fast and loose with the facts. It was fun. I might watch it again soon.