Archive of entries posted on 4th November 2019

IMAO Time Machine: Know Thy Enemy: Brush Fires

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Frank wrote about brush fires 16 years ago. — The Editors

As we all know, Gray Davis set California on fire in vengeance for people recalling him. It could happen again, and thus I set my crack research team to find out all they can about brush fires so people can be more prepared in the future.

FUN FACTS ABOUT BRUSH FIRES

  • Brush fires are caused by the combination of brush and fire.
  • The conspiracy between brush and fire started when both became dissatisfied with the government in the 60’s.
  • If the conspiracy of brush and fire joined with the Zionist conspiracy, then we’d all be screwed.
  • I just saw Matrix Revolutions last night. Do you think when anything goes wrong in the machine city, they blame it on a Zionist conspiracy?
  • A brush fire has two main modes of attack: burning using its fire and suffocating using its smoke. It also has a special attack, but first needs to power up.
  • To avoid brush fires reaching your home, dispose of all your brush by tossing it over the fence into your neighbor’s yard.
  • If there is a brush fire, you may see panicked animals flee the forest. Stay and fight, you pansy-ass animals!
  • If a brush fire is coming towards your house, lock your doors. Fires can’t operate locks.
  • If you run into a brush fire, don’t panic; it’s more scared of you than you are of it.
  • There is no reason to have lots of brush congregated in one area. Brush should be destroyed… just not by fire.
  • If you wake up and find your room on fire, that’s a house fire – not a brush fire. Those are common, so don’t worry about it.
  • A brush fire can be identified by its strong, smoky smell. If you see a large fire coming your way, see if it has a smoky smell.
  • Since fire needs oxygen, a good place to store your brush is on the moon.
  • Much like the Wicked Witch of the West, a brushfire can be killed by water.
  • Water can also kill the aliens from Signs.
  • I’m sorry if you haven’t seen that movie yet and I ruined it, but someone ruined The Sixth Sense for me and I’m still bitter.
  • I don’t know if dropping a house on a brush fire would kill it just like it did the Wicked Witch of East, but it’s worth a shot.
  • That probably would also kill one of the aliens from Signs.
  • In a fight between Aquaman and a brushfire, Aquaman would only be able to be identified afterwards by his dental records. If only Aquaman actually had some Aquapowers.
  • A giant brush fire can be an awe inspiring site to watch, but it can be canceled in case of rain and replaced with a movie.
  • You can’t kung fu fight a brushfire. Then again, I’ve never tried it.
  • I once set a hairbrush on fire. It like totally melted! It was so cool!
  • Having caught the 10:15 showing of Matrix Revolutions last night, I am very sleepy right now. Hopefully some conniving brush fire won’t use that to its advantage.

This Day in Python — November 4th

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1972:

At one point, about 7:00, I had just come back into the studios after having a drink when a slight, thin figure walked towards me. The face was familiar, but before I could register anything, a look of registration crossed George Harrison’s face, and he shook my hand, and went into a paean of praise for Monty Python — with the same exaggerated enthusiasm that I would have lavished on the Beatles had I met them five years ago. He said he couldn’t wait to see Python on 35mm, big screen.

1974:

At lunchtime came a fresh jolt from the BBC. In Graham’s speech as the Icelandic Honey Week rep — very funny and all recorded — they wanted the lines “Cold enough to freeze your ****s off, freeze the little buggers solid in mid-air” cut from the tape, as well as one “piss off” (we could keep the other).

— Michael Palin, Diaries 1969 – 1979: The Python Years

Laika

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Yesterday was the anniversary of the launching of Sputnik 2, which carried Laika, the first space dog, into orbit in 1957.

[The YouTube]

I was always fascinated by Laika for some reason. When I was young, all I heard was that the dog had died. It was much later before I became aware that was the intent all along.