IMAO Time Machine: IMAO Podcast #6 7-4-05

The 6th IMAO Podcast, from 2005. — The Editors


  1. SarahK sings “The Star-Spangled Banner” (very pretty)
  2. Introduction & sponsors
  3. The Podcasters Union (Part 1) [note: Brick Coleman = Bruce Campbell]
  4. Why Frank loves America
  5. Buck the Marine for the Marine Corps
  6. Right Wing Duck: Revolutionaries vs. Terrorists
  7. “World of Knowledge” w/ host Frank J: The American Revolution
  8. The Podcasters Union (Part 2)
  9. Why SarahK loves America
  10. Frank J. begs you to vote for the podcast (yeah… the voting is LONG over)
  11. Harvey: Fun Facts About Colorado Part 1
  12. Right Wing Duck: IMAO School of Acting
  13. Harvey: Fun Facts About Colorado Part 2
  14. Why Spacemonkey loves America
  15. SarahK reviews “Michael Moore Hates America”
  16. Why Harvey loves America
  17. Laurence Simon’s Crappy Bedtime Stories: 3 Little Pigs
  18. The Podcasters Union (Part 3)
  19. Frank Discourse (Roundtable): Tom Cruise’s “War of the Worlds”, Right Wing Duck’s new religion, Live Aid quotes.
  20. Frank: Conclusion, listener emails
  21. SarahK sings the 4th stanza of “The Star Spangled Banner” (also very pretty)
  22. Epilogue: “The Pledge of Allegiance”

I Can Only Conjecture This Poor Man Thinks There Are No Security Cameras ANYWHERE

“Reality is the comedy; comedy is the reality.” — Oppo

OJ Simpson Sues Las Vegas Casino, Contends He Was Defamed
kxan | Nov. 8, 2019 | Ken Ritter

O.J. Simpson is suing a Las Vegas hotel-casino that banned him in November 2017, alleging that unnamed employees defamed him by telling a celebrity news site he had been drunk, disruptive and unruly.

Simpson, on parole in Nevada for a 2008 conviction for armed robbery and assault with a weapon, filed the lawsuit Thursday against Nevada Property 1 LLC, corporate owner of the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

The complaint acknowledges that Simpson, after several hours with two friends at a steakhouse and a lounge in November 2017, received a notice from a security guard as they left. It prohibited him from returning to the Las Vegas Strip property. He says he was never given a reason.

Simpson denied in the lawsuit that he was “belligerent,” broke glass or damaged property.

. . .

Simpson had been released on parole less than six weeks before the incident, and LaVergne said Friday his client was stung by criticism he received on social media. The attorney said Simpson did not have a Twitter account in 2017.

“Now we’ve got Twitter. We’ve got a lawsuit. We’ll see how things play out,” LaVergne said.

Simpson opened a Twitter account last June with an initial video post saying, “I got a little gettin’ even to do.” Most posts since have been about football.

The defamation complaint said a parole officer arrived unannounced at Simpson’s Las Vegas home following news reports of the Cosmopolitan incident and administered drug and alcohol tests.

Parole officials found that Simpson had not violated probation “and ultimately determined that the Cosmopolitan’s assertions against Simpson were false,” the complaint said.

Nevada Department of Public Safety spokeswoman Kim Yoko Smith declined to comment about the parole finding. She said state law prohibits disclosure of information about supervision of a parolee.

Simpson has been living in a gated golf course community after being freed from prison. He was convicted in October 2008 of leading five men, including two with guns, in an ill-fated bid to retrieve personal items and memorabilia from two collectibles dealers and a go-between at a Las Vegas casino-hotel.

Simpson claims in the complaint he is a “model” parolee and points to “an extremely warm and positive reception by many” who pose with him for photos.

With good behavior credits, his parole could end before 2022.

The lawsuit characterizes Simpson as “a well-known public figure,” college football Heisman Trophy winner and Pro Football Hall of Famer who “has experienced various legal problems.”

Weird Hair, and Everywhere. (Song Parody)

[To the tune of the Beatles’ “Here, There, and Everywhere”]

♩♩♪

To lead a bitter life
I need Millennials near . . .

Weird:
Faking each day of the year.
Closing their minds
With the wave of the hand.
Nobody can
Deny there’s nothing there.

Their
Twinkles-Up hands in the air
Each of us thinking how rude they can be
Someone is speaking
But they just don’t know he’s there.

You see them everywhere:
And with sheep to guide them
They know they need Medicare.
Handout-lovers, they say need is everywhere
Knowing your money’s to share
Each one believing golden geese never die
Tweeting the lies
And hoping they’ll get their share.

You find them everywhere;
And if they deride me
I know I need never care.
But for leverage they leave needles everywhere
Knowing that misery’s to share
Each one believing that Epstein just died
All on welfare
And hoping it’s always there….

… Freebies here, there, and everywhere.
Feared, “fair,” and everywhere!

♩♩♪

This Day in Python — November 10th (Tomorrow)

Since tomorrow is a day off …

Nov. 10, 1976:

Writing with Terry — some hopeful starts, but nothing great as yet, the most promising being a piece Terry has begun about the Three Wise Men, confused over which star they’re following and being constantly mistaken for the wrong sort of astrologers and having to tell people about their star sign. In the classic Python mould of the humour of frustration; irritation at constantly being diverted by trivia.

Nov. 10, 1978:

John dropped in for breakfast. We looked through Three Wise Men together . . . The roof of the stable drips occasionally as a welcome reminder that it could have been raining on Jesus’ birthday.

The costumes are excruciatingly hard to bear. My headdress is like having a sixty-pound haversack on one’s skull, and both Graham and I have immense trouble with long, swirling trains — as we make an impressive exit, Graham’s train catches on the door, rips down the middle and pulls the door off its hinges.

— Michael Palin, Diaries 1969 – 1979: The Python Years


Whistlebloviator

Oppo
I’m going to be a whistleblower.

Basil
?

Oppo
Have FrankJ or you done anything impeachable?

Basil
Uh, no . . .

Oppo
Well, I’ve been offered a Schiffload of money.

He’ll now jot it down as “having been discussed by two persons at the center of the controversy, who choose to remain anonymous.”

 

. . . Unless you want to go public . . . ?

Basil
Nope.

Oppo
(Blows whistle)
Obstructing justice!

Heh. Just joking, America.
Hey – where’d you go?

Overwhelmingly-Blue Scream of Death

Note: There is not even a smidgen of bias in this article. Nope.

Bill Gates Doesn’t Rule Out Voting For Trump If Democrats Make Him Pay Too Much in Taxes
Gizmodo | 11-7-19 | Matt Novak

Bill Gates, a man who’s worth an estimated $107 billion, suggested on Wednesday he’d be open to voting for President Donald Trump in 2020 if the Democrats try to make him pay his fair share in taxes. The bizarre suggestion is just the latest sign that American oligarchs are prepared to support an authoritarian if Elizabeth Warren’s proposed wealth tax moves forward.

“If I had to pay $20 billion, it’s fine,” Gates said at the New York Times DealBook conference yesterday when discussing a possible wealth tax. “But when you say I should pay $100 billion, then I’m starting to do a little math about what I have left over.”

The crowd laughed before Gates said, “Sorry, I’m just kidding.”

Warren’s proposed wealth tax wouldn’t make him pay $100 billion, but even if it did, Gates would have about $7 billion left over.

And a fun bonus quote:

Bill Gates Says Meeting Jeffrey Epstein Was a “Mistake”
nypost.com | November 6, 2019 | Ben Feuerherd

Bill Gates said Wednesday that he “made a mistake” when he decided to meet with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein while seeking money for his global health campaign.

Gates made the mea culpa while speaking to The New York Times Dealbook Conference — saying that by sitting down with Epstein he helped legitimize the convicted sexual predator.

“I made a mistake in judgment that I thought that those discussions would lead, literally, to billions of dollars going to global health. It turned out that was a bad judgment,” said 64-year-old Gates.

“And I gave him some benefit by the association. So I made a doubly wrong mistake there,” he added.

Awesome calculations.

.

Bill Gates Met With Jeffrey Epstein on Numerous Occasions: Report
New York Post / October 13, 2019 / Kenneth Garger

Billionaire Bill Gates downplayed his connection to Jeffrey Epstein when he claimed he had no business or personal relationship with the pedophile financier, and in fact met Epstein at least three times at his Upper East Side mansion, the New York Times reported Saturday.

Citing uncovered e-mails plus interviews with more than a dozen people, the paper reported that the Microsoft cofounder and Epstein first met in January 2011, years after Epstein pleaded guilty in Florida to soliciting an underage prostitute.

Following the first meeting, Gates wrote in an e-mail to colleagues that Esptein’s “lifestyle is very different and kind of intriguing although it would not work for me.”