What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Make sure you get hip to the lingo. Pepper your conversation with happening phrases like “groovy,” “far out,” and “right on.” That way, people will know that you’re a cool cat and not just some square.
In the 80’s I was at a summer camp and they had a staff member that just came over from Australia. He was often quoting Fonzie from Happy Days. I guess it took a while to get to Australia television. Maybe he thought it was how people spoke or it was a way he felt he could fit in but he was often met with uncomfortable silence when he did it.
The camp wasn’t even in Wisconsin for crying out loud!
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Make sure you study the proper customs. Tea and crumpets is something those foppish Brits do. In America, we don’t have time for such namby-pamby refreshments. Here, we drink half-caf lattes with soy milk and stevia with a gluten-free muffin.
Up the coverage on the comprehensive portion of your car insurance, especially if moving to Portland.
Ditto if moving to Chicago.
Nyet
Bring lawyers, guns, and money.
Yes! Because unlike in your country…having a lawyer in this country is not a total waste of money.
hope you’re ready to give up some of the things you are accustomed to.
Bring toilet paper.
Bring Vodka!
I hope you can dance.
Stay, you have more freedom there.
Don’t announce that you’re bringing Hillary’s hacked e mails.
Expect to see a great deal less smoking in public.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Learn Spanish.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
In America, we don’t care where you come from. We only care about the size of the kickback we’re getting from you.
Assimilate.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Make sure you get hip to the lingo. Pepper your conversation with happening phrases like “groovy,” “far out,” and “right on.” That way, people will know that you’re a cool cat and not just some square.
In the 80’s I was at a summer camp and they had a staff member that just came over from Australia. He was often quoting Fonzie from Happy Days. I guess it took a while to get to Australia television. Maybe he thought it was how people spoke or it was a way he felt he could fit in but he was often met with uncomfortable silence when he did it.
The camp wasn’t even in Wisconsin for crying out loud!
‘Eyyyyy!”plus
“Sit on it, Rihar”
– Aussie Camper –
Ahem. He wasn’t a camper he was on staff.
I tried to make him feel more at home by quoting lines from The Goodies but I was met with uncomfortable silence.
Probably because The Goodies was British and not Australian. Certainly not because I wasn’t funny. I’m convinced my quotes were hilarious.
Sad epilogue::
When everyone began quoting Crocodile Dundee to him.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Make sure you study the proper customs. Tea and crumpets is something those foppish Brits do. In America, we don’t have time for such namby-pamby refreshments. Here, we drink half-caf lattes with soy milk and stevia with a gluten-free muffin.
Be very careful about quoting “Blazing Saddles” in public.
…don’t forget to ask about our nuclear wessels.
Tell him his “Yakov Smirnoff” capabilities must be of the highest order to make time with the ladies around here.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Be wary is someone asks you to “Hold my beer”.
I don’t know about be wary, just be ready for some death (sometimes) defying awesomeness.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
it’s Basil not Basil Boris.
You meann Boris, not Boris.
It’s Igor not Igor.
You have to know a Russian named Igor to get that one.
They get really mad when you pronounce it Igor.
Unless you have seen Young Frankenstein.
Does his hump move?
What hump?
Ah… never mind.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving from Russia to the U.S.?
Learn to understand and enjoy baseball or go home you pinko commie.
Lose the track suit. Quit asking, the Russian mobsters know you’re here and will get in touch when they need you.
Yeah, those purges sucked but Stalin never tried DNC style purges, wait until AOC is in charge.
Those aren’t Olympic shot putters, just feminist leaders.
You had me at “Lose the track suit.”
Don’t bother, it’s just a lateral move now.
No one can Gopnik like the beloved of Warm and Fuzzy Stalin ™
Don’t worry, potential immigrant. Portland and Seattle await you with baited breath and soy milk.