Received this notice in the IMAO inbox. All right, which one of you is responsible for the shipping charge, and what was it for?
_____________________________
Dear Valued Customer,
Please find attached statement of your account including all current, past due and credit balances.
Kindly note, this statement may not reflect payments submitted in the last 48 hours.
Current: $0.00
1-30 days overdue: $1,560.00
31-60 days overdue: $0.00
61-90 days overdue: $0.00
91-180 days overdue: $0.00
Over 180 days overdue: $0.00Total Overdue: $1,560.00
Available Credits from Overpayments: $0.00
Please remit payment at your earliest convenience.
For wire transfers use: Your remittance advice shall be emailed to xxxxx@xxx.com and should include payer name, full amount of the wire and break-down allocation of the payment by invoice/bill of lading number.
Best Regards,
Credit and Collections Dept
MSC MEDITERRANEAN SHIPPING COMPANY (USA) INC.
_____________________________
Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s our nightly Open Thread, and you have the floor.
Aw man! They finally found me. I knew it couldn’t last.
Has the Emu been shopping for brides again?
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I’m doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch…
What did the cats have on God to get 9 lives?
Harvey Award!
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I
needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and
threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was
great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to
find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big breasts.
You didn’t start where you finished?