Midnight Special

Welcome to tonight’s show. I am sure you are asking “What’s new pussycat”? Well the answer is tonight’s artist. Ladies and gentlemen…

Tom Jones

On to the music!

I Must Be a Pretty Poor Scientist

I never noticed those eight dots in our pelvis. Must come in handy when you’ve got a lot of gas.

The remains of an individual buried in the Augustinian friary, taken during the 2016 excavation on the University of Cambridge’s New Museums site. Credit: Nick Saffell

In What Just May Possibly Be an Example of Headline Hyperbole . . .

. . . Tech Xplore wrote:

Microsoft Patent Would Let Us Chat With the Departed

(Now, if they had said “the deported,” I might have kept reading.)

Promoted Comment: Zzyzx Lays Out the Only Two Possibilities

There is no evidence the vote in Georgia was fixed or tampered with in any way what so ever. Yeahbut, then that proves the voters of Georgia are morons.

— Zzyzx

Joe’s Earpiece Tells Him To Promise Americans ‘Three Squares a Day.’ Joe’s Promise:

Straight Line of the Day: Always Trying To Be Helpful, IMAO Suggests That You…

Straight Line of the Day: Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…

Welcome to IMAO — Home of the Space Lounge Chair

Random Thoughts: Minimum Wage and Cats

Moderation is fine, but what we’d like is:
1. Rules applied equally to everyone and not done arbitrarily
2. It be clear who is being banned and for what and have an appeals process for when that goes wrong
3. To not be constantly lied to
Twitter fails on all three.

Never been exactly clear on the difference between stories based on anonymous sources and fan fiction.

Ben Shapiro is a real person? I thought he was just this made-up thing in everyone’s heads representing whatever they currently wanted to scream at.

Trump is kind of creepy when he’s not on Twitter and you have to constantly wonder to yourself “What’s he thinking right now?”

If someone produces less than $15 an hour in value, it should be illegal to hire that person.

If you want to pay people $15 an hour, start a business and pay people $15 an hour.

I’d love to see Bernie Sanders try to start a profitable business. That would be a hilarious reality show.

If a $15 minimum wage destroys jobs and makes things worse for poor people, there will be no reckoning. Everyone will pat themselves on the back for how caring they were when in fact they’re a bunch of sociopaths.
There is no minimum wage for someone making their own business. They can lose a ton of money. But someone succeeding there will do a million times more for their community than any activist.
If you have really strong opinions about how businesses should be run, make one. Or just harmlessly spout your idiocy. But don’t back your stupidity and ignorance with government force.

When I last earned the minimum wage, it was $5.05 an hour in Idaho when I worked in the mall food court over the summer. I did a good job and was about to get a raise but I went back to college in Pittsburgh where I spent the money I earned on textbooks.
I don’t know if it was a livable wage. I didn’t try to live on it.
Somehow, in much of the world, people still live on less than a dollar a day. I bet they don’t have broadband internet, though.
I wonder there is the opposite of a livable wage — like an instantly kill you wage. I would not want to earn that.
I’d say most people shouldn’t worry too much, though. If history is any guide, no matter how much you earn, most of you will still be ungrateful and whiny.

I guess the scientific way to figure out what’s a livable wage is to pay people less and less until someone finally dies.
Might be some ethics involved there, though.

Fair Warning: If the government sends me another check, I’m using it to buy an AR-15.

“We really really care about poor people so you have to pay them more.”
“If you care, why don’t you give them money?”
“No, you do that.”
“Can you at least end the shutdown so I can have more business?”
“No.”
“I might have to close my business.”
“If you can’t pay people $15 an hour, you shouldn’t have a business.”
“Now all the people I had hired will make $0 an hour.”
“It’s worth it to teach you a lesson!”
“I thought you said you cared about poor people.”
“As much as a sociopath can.”

It’s time for an ultra-dark reboot of Gilligan’s Island oh wait that was Lost.

No, you don’t deserve $15 an hour. You don’t deserve $8 an hour. Looking at most of human history, you don’t even deserve $1 an hour.
But we were all born in an extremely rich country and that’s made us all very entitled and privileged.

If I were in the Dora the Explorer universe, after the Map sang “I’m the map! I’m the map! I’m the map!” over and over, I’d look it right in the eye and ask as seriously as possible, “Are you the map?”
I bet that would absolutely devastate it.

It would nice if there was like an equation to justify $15 an hour like “we used this to calculate that this is a wage we can enforce that won’t actually destroy businesses and hurt poor people” — at least pretend it’s not a number someone just pulled out of his ass.
That whole “We love science!” pose sure gets chucked out the window when it comes to economics.

PEACOCK AD: “We have more than just episodes of The Office.”
“Really? Because all I know about you guys is that you have that.”
PEACOCK AD: “We also have The Office bonus footage!”
“Have some self-respect guys.”

How about we pass a minimum wage but then small business owners get to pick some random aspect of your life to change where they’re sure they know better.

“They can just raise the price of a burger 25 cents to cover the new wage.”
If restaurants could raise prices with no consequence to sales, wouldn’t they already have done that?
If you raise prices, at some point you sell less. And then you have less money to pay for increased labor costs. So you have to do with less labor. This isn’t complicated.
I just don’t get people’s religious faith that enacting $15 nationwide won’t have negative consequences.
And how many of these activists even know anyone who earns minimum wage? If they end up making things worse for people, will they even know or care?
I suspect they’ll just pat themselves on the back for doing a good thing and call it a day.
The minimum wage is emblematic of the worst kind of activism. It’s ostensibly to help the poor but puts that’s burden completely on other people with no concern about the actual consequences.
And where is this idea that all wages have to be “liveable” — whatever you define that to mean? Kids can’t earn extra cash? The disabled who maybe can’t do $15 in value an hour can’t find some employment?
The scariest thing is just the complete lack of concern for unintended consequences. But again, I think a lot of this is being pushed by people who think they’re great for doing something but won’t be directly affected by it at all.

Was trying to help my 10yo daughter do a simple C program which still involved looking up a few things like what headers to include.
“So anytime you want to do anything in programming, you have to Google it?”
“Pretty much.”

So is it a defense in the libel case that that Mike Lindell seems to honestly believe all that?

With our first female Vice President, we’ve learned an important lesson: Women can be soulless phonies too.

Trump’s Patriot Party is going to lose out to my Patrioter Party.

The problem with free markets is to get the best results you have to give up control, and that’s too high a price to pay for most people, especially politicians.

I think we’ll all look back on 2020 and remember it as the year without any new Marvel movies.

I remember when Biden entered the Senate six years before I was born and I said to myself, “There’s a guy with a bright future ahead of him… after forty plus years of utter mediocrity.”

The Trump presidency was a bit weird, but I think the important thing was that absolutely no one learned anything.

I avoid listening to politicians give speeches as much as possible as it seems a rather pointless activity.
I mean, what can you learn from a politician’s speech? You can learn if he’s good at reading from a teleprompter and if he’s hired good speechwriters. Can you learn anything about how he’ll govern? Unlikely.

Don’t be a Hitler. Be a Hugler.

I like classical liberalism. Is there a political party that’s for classical liberalism? There should be a political party that supports classical liberalism.

Religious extremists invented the X Y chromosomes in the 1950s in an attempt to divide people.

I don’t think anyone understands anything about the trans movement beyond that they’ll get ripped apart for asking any questions about it.

One of our new cats is a toe ‘tacking terror. At night, it’s like being in a horror movie. You feel his presence on the bed and you try to be as still as possible as he’ll interpret the slightest movement under the covers as provocation.
I’m a dog person. I don’t like playing with cats. It’s like playing with a dog if the dog often suddenly pulled out a knife.

It’s so refreshing that instead of having a president who is constantly telling us everything he thinks on Twitter we’re back to one who dodges important questions like the soulless snakes we’ve long been used to.

We need the filibuster because it keeps Congress from passing bills which is good because they’re pretty much all morons.

Whatever happened to educating our kids about snitches and their relationship to stitches?

Do you think people are going to care more or less about this impeachment trial than the last one? I mean, it feels like this one is even more superfluous… unless they actually get enough votes to convict which feels highly unlikely right now.

I took my wife to a super-fancy dinner and she repaid me by afterward describing in great detail the entire plot of Bridgerton 🙁

Man, I’d be so annoyed if I were Tom Brady. Just once I’d like to relax and watch the Super Bowl at home.

My 7yo son overheard us talking about the vaccine, and he said, “It’s probably just poison and they’re trying to kill you.”
What YouTube videos is he watching?

Just because I’m laughing at the “there’s no such thing as cancel culture” people getting canceled doesn’t mean I’m for them being fired.

The main problem with actual solutions to problems is that they don’t allow you to feel self-righteous so what’s the point?

81 million Americans voted for Biden because Trump and the Republicans are terrible. 74 million Americans voted for Trump because the Democrats and the left are terrible. Unity means everyone trying to be less terrible.

How about journalists just stop pretending they’re anything other than partisan hacks? It’s just so insulting to one’s intelligence when they don’t admit to it.

Who would win in a fight between King Kong and Godzilla? Neither, as they’d both be crushed under their own weight thanks to the square-cube law.

I feel like everyone thinking Godzilla is going to win with his atomic breath aren’t putting enough weight on monkey smarts.

I think the new Harry Potter series should be about a middle-aged Harry Potter who feels like he can’t do his job as Auror bringing down Death Eaters because of those damn liberals in the Ministry of Magic tying his hands.
Title: Dirty Harry Potter

It’s kind of weird Trump hasn’t gone to one of the alternative social media sites as he’d probably boost one of them a ton if he started posting his unfiltered hourly thoughts there.

The goal of teachers unions is to give children the least amount of education for the most money possible, with the ultimate goal of getting paid without even having to teach. The pandemic has finally helped them achieve that goal.

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Fabu-loss

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