…First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in imao’s sight, shall snuff it.
. . . do not open any Candygrams, do not open the door for land sharks, do not guess if Harry has fired 5 shots or 6, do not tell Gozer you’re not a god, do not publicize that you have incriminating evidence against Hillary, under no circumstances take trunalimunumaprzure, and above all, have fun!
…”What? What did you say? Well, same to you, fella!”
do as we do, not as we say. Never as we say. God, remember that one time?
Rig for high orbit before nuking the moon.
…let IMAO hold your cash for you.
… check out our new line of fabulous IMAO gear – all the awesome catchphrases, all the uncopy-righted memes, all the sizes you would ever need…
….build a giant wooden badger.
…take their advice,
pull down your pants,
and slide on the ice.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips
Give them a push!!
You’ll be surprised
You’re doing the French Mistake!!
VOILA!!
…First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in imao’s sight, shall snuff it.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
say Basil and not Basil.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
…sit. (pick one: ‘down’, ‘on it’.)
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
send lawyers, guns and money.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
not eat the yellow snow.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
know your favorite color.
…and the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
Both the African and European variety to be on the safe side.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
let the Emu win.
…carry along a whole mess of dimes in case there are unexpected tolls along the road of life.
DON’T PANIC
Too late.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
dance with who brung ya, swing with who swung you.
You put de lime in the coconut, you drink ’em bot’ up
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
Expect the Spanish Inquisition
I never would have expected IMAO to suggest that.
Never steal Jobu’s rum. It very bad to steal Jobu’s rum.
Buy tuna!
And ammo.
But mostly tuna.
… never, ever say anything about the Aliens…
…put everything into Pioneer Aviation.
Seinfeld obscurish!
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
… plan to make espresso whenever possible.
Ensure that there are no smart aleks sneaking around with Folger’s crystals when making that espresso.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
lighten up. (some claim that it’s racist)
Except if your name is Francis…
I was wondering how to word a retort…
Stop asking who FrankJ is.
he’s da man.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
Don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
. . . do not open any Candygrams, do not open the door for land sharks, do not guess if Harry has fired 5 shots or 6, do not tell Gozer you’re not a god, do not publicize that you have incriminating evidence against Hillary, under no circumstances take trunalimunumaprzure, and above all, have fun!
…and don’t ask Hal to open the pod bay doors.
Always pick the door that Carol Merrill is standing in front of.
WHAM
“Oh, sorry Carol! I didn’t know you were out there. Are you all right?”
… short GameStop stock.
Don’t drink and drive. Drink then drive.
Swing away Merrill.
Set the volume all the way to 11.
Become a catch-basin of useful phrases, or a basin of useful catch-phrases. Not sure which.
Always trying to be helpful, IMAO suggests that you…
…try the veal. It’s vegan.
Okay, the veal itself is meat, but the animal the meat was butchered from was a vegan since it was weaned.