Straight Line of the Day: Can you make up wilder claims than these?
Her wild claims are pretty funny:
A Farewell to Ithaca College After 18 Years
The Ithacan | March 3, 2021 | Sandra Steingraber
(A stein-grabber, indeed)
What does climate change have to do with human performance? Well, higher heat and humidity represent health threats to outdoor athletes.
In California, three-quarters of new oil wells are drilled in Black or Latino communities.
To understand the permitting of fossil fuel infrastructure, one needs to understand systemic racism.
Women and gender studies shows us that domestic violence and sex trafficking accompany oil and gas fracking.
And music? Ask me about the wood used to make Stradivarius violins. It’s sourced from forests now being decimated by extreme weather patterns in Italy.
Damn! How many did he make?
“At least nine IC professors who teach some aspect of the climate crisis — in five different departments — are on the chopping block, with Recreation and Leisure Studies disappearing altogether.”

Can you make up wilder claims than these?
Nope, not even gonna try. It will just give them ideas.
Wilder claims? “ I’m not going to the toilet, I’m going to showbiz!” …
Can you make up wilder claims than these?
Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word “draw” in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, “Reach for it, mister!” I spun around… and there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the a$$. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle… and I’ve been there ever since.
Not only does Budweiser make beer…Beer makes Bid Wizer.
I got up at the same time this morning and it was colder and darker than it was last week. Daylight savings has cured global warming!
If a person keeps their hands thoroughly cleansed, eats only non-GMO natural foods, gets at least 7.4 hour of sleep each night, exercises regularly and properly, lives in California and simultaneously wears three CDC-approved face coverings 24 hours a day …. they will NEVER die.
Kamala Harris is not the first woman Vice President – Joe Biden was…
Given a Turing-complete universal predicate F(e; x) for defining partial functions from the natural numbers to the natural numbers, and any property P of such functions, the set E of every program e that defines a function F(e; x) that has property P is Turing-computable if and only if the set is empty or everything.
This does not comport at all with the standard Fizzbin analysis. Please revise.
Can you give an example in conjunctive normal form? My booleans are arguing with each other.
Sorry, all my conjunctions are abnormal.
I can promise that the set of programs that compile to partial functions of neither finite nor cofinite domain isn’t computable, at least.
…a large wooden badger a day, keeps the liberals away.
If only.
Jed Clampett pumps his oil to spent wells in Black and Latino neighborhoods so he can drill for it again.
Collar temperatures rise at a slower rate when Donald Trump is not president.
TUNA STOCKS ENTIRELY DEPLETED WITHIN 1 WEEK!
Not all tuna – just what’s in the cupboard right now. Please add to the shopping list.
Jeffrey Epstein killed himself
That’s just kookie talk
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
If things go according to plan Earth will be the number three recreational destination for vacationing Jupiteraniens in 2029, according to the National Beef Council.
Of course, Jupiterians only come to Earth to serve man.
…and pay homage to Uranus.
My father would often make outrageous claims that he invented the question mark, other times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.
There is indeed intelligent life to be found within the DC Beltway.
Can you make up wilder claims than these?
Wait, lemme turn on CNN….
Those who demand that Basil be pronounced Basil are actually mistaken.
The 2020 election was fair and honest, and Xiden won without the use of “the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.”
He did?!?
I messed with EMU and lived to tell about it.
For now
The Snyder Cut is going to be awesome!
…It’s pronounced Frankenstein not Frankenstein.
That’s not what Igor told me.
Igor or Igor?
Yes
WTF is “Recreation and Leisure Studies” doing as a College Major?
I’m still not sure if it’s “Basil” or “Basil”!
“WTF is ‘Recreation and Leisure Studies’ doing as a College Major?”
The Mustang Ranch needs to get summer interns from somewhere.
Jobu has been named quarterback for the N’awlin Saints. ( It’s still very bad to steal his rum )