Penguin at Edinburgh Zoo Promoted to Major General in Norway Army
Euronews Weekly | 22/08/2023 | Joshua Askew
A penguin has been promoted to the third highest rank in the Norwegian Armed Forces.
Sir Nils Olav III, a resident of Penguin’s Rock in Edinburgh Zoo, was given the honorary title of Major General in the King’s Guard of Norway on Monday, as their official mascot.
Some 160 uniformed soldiers visited the Scottish zoo to bestow the unique honour upon the king penguin, involving much military pomp and circumstance.
The decorated bird, already a Brigadier, now has the grandiose title of Major General Sir Nils Olav III, Baron of the Bouvet Islands.
Other Improvements To the Military: …
Batman is investigating possible international spy.
Other Improvements To the Military…
An emu promoted to Rear Admiral in the Australian Navy.
Objects in rear are larger than they appear.
I believe this title and rank are strictly honorary. Much like the title “boarder czar” this is a non-functionary title. The person (or penguin in this case) holding the title isn’t expected to actually “do anything” even remotely connected to the title.
Come on, how much worse can he be than what they got commanding now?
A certain Eciton Burchellii has been named to be a general in charge of ground movements for all South American operations…
Other Improvements To the Military: …
Get em focusing on killin’ and not pronouns.
Poo flinging monkeys given hand grenades. And kilts, for close quarters combat.
Large wooden badgers filled with recently paroled chickens from Bristol.
Got your own six rifles that shoot around three corners.
Might have to retrain medics to run toward cries of fire in the hole.
Ah, so you have tried my recent batch of salsa..I named it Jeepers Scoreapers for the addition of Scorpion peppers and Carolina Reapers…it’s got game..and for those that don’t have the stomach of a crow, like myself, may cause one to exclaim ” fire in the hole!”
Vicious Chicken of Bristol to pilot Putin assassination drone.
How?