An “Eternal Life” Pill May Be Closer Than Ever Thanks to New Research
JPost | 7/11/23Experts estimate that the “fountain of youth” pill may be on the horizon, thanks to a jellyfish-like marine creature called Hydractinia symbiolongicarpus, which regenerates its entire body from cells located in its mouth.
Hydractinia are tiny tube-shaped creatures that live on the shells of rare crustaceans. Their remarkable regenerative abilities are expected to have implications for healthcare and anti-aging treatments.
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
Politicians will take five of them before the rest of us get any.
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
you may have to show picture ID to get one.
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
China will add fentanyl before they export them.
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
the research is done in the Wuhan lab.
One Drawback, However: …
Is you will come out with a super power ability to sting the crap out of someone. Wait, would that be a drawback?
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
early testing is done on Honey Badgers and Tasmanian Devils.
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
you must go to Mars to obtain them.
… it will seriously complicate your tax situation…
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
They may make you 1) fall up stairs, 2) trip over sandbags, 3) forget where you are, 4) wreck your bicycle, 5) make up words, 6) follow Easter Bunnys, 7) develop a fetish for shampoos.
Howzabout that it turns you into a jellyfish? Fauci, Pfizer, hey guys, wake up. Answer me this. What is this, some of that “In the future you will own nothing, you will be happy and you will live forever. But you will only have one bodily opening that you will use for ingestion, excretion and reproduction. But enough of that” stuff or what? You guys. I can’t even.
Your new Social Security retirement age will be infinity plus one.
New movie: ‘Hydractinia Symbiolongicarpus vs Godzilla’.
Try saying that fast 5 times…or ‘Oppoheimlichmaneuver’.
…can’t go outside in the daytime and your only nourishment is human blood.
… and you fall under the spell of a vegan/fruitopian influencer…
MSNBC will contend the pill has been around for years, thus explaining Brandon’s massive 2020 voting bloc of people born prior to 1850. And since they get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, it is not uncommon for them to vote in large groups at 3 am. So says the seemingly 400 year old Andrea Mitchell.
On a waiting list for a senior apartment complex? Forget about it.
…There’s no guarantee of eternal youth. -Have you even seen Test Subject A? (aka Keith Richards)
Its all well and good unless you are sentenced to 7 life terms in prison…
And Hillary is on the visitors list…
One Drawback, However: …
The quickening
They May Be Able To Develop an “Eternal Life” Pill. One Drawback, However: …
your cat does not get anymore than his nine.
….to have eternal life I have to lick a clam every day! Hummmm