By saying:

His uncle Ambrose Finnegan, during the Second World War,

“got shot down in an area where there were a lot of cannibals at the time. They never recovered his body.”

(2 bodies, to be specific.)

In this day and age, why not?

We’ll have to sift through our interns to see if there’s any she-nanigans going on.

Riley Weston: the Screenwriter Who Successfully Pretended to Be a Teenager
Far Out Magazine | Sat 13 April 2024 | Aimee Ferrier

Hollywood is rife with problems …

… preventative anti-wrinkle creams are marketed to us before we’ve even hit 25 …

… Unbelievably, Maggie Gyllenhaal once revealed that she was told that, at age 37, she was “too old” to play a 55-year-old man’s love interest in a film.

… In the 1990s, Riley Weston caused a scandal when she posed as a teenager to get a job, successfully becoming part of the writing crew for Matt Reeves’ show Felicity.

… Changing her name from Kimberlee Seaman to Riley Weston, she told people she was 19 when she was actually 32.

… Weston managed to trick everyone around her, fabricating documents, using phrases popular with teenagers, and even bringing her mother to work with her on occasion. She did all she could to appear as though she was a recent high school graduate, convincing everyone to the point that she even guest-starred in Felicity as a teenage character.

I can see being fooled. Genetics.

Yeah, another Muzzie.

Sydney is rocked by another stabbing rampage with a priest and worshippers attacked at Christ the Good Shepherd Church in Wakeley
Daily Mail (Australia/UK) | 15th April 2024 | Max Aitchinson

A bishop and three worshippers have been attacked in another stabbing rampage to rock Sydney, as riot police have been called in to quell mounting tensions in the city’s west.

Bishop Mar Mari Emmanuel was preaching at Christ The Good Shepherd Church in Wakeley in Sydney’s west on Monday just after 7pm when a man dressed in black walked up to the altar and allegedly stabbed him multiple times.

{“Allegedly”?}

Horrifying footage of the incident, which was being broadcast live on the church’s YouTube page, shows Bishop Emmanuel look up in astonishment as the attacker suddenly rains down blows on his face and head.

The alleged attack has sparked unrest outside the church as hundreds gathered in protest, hurling bottles and bricks at a hastily-erected police barrier as chants of ‘an eye for an eye’ could be heard.

Walrus appears to have deployed some sort of probe to her thigh region.

Free Beacon Looks Into President Joe Biden’s Lifelong Stutter
Twitchy.com | 4/15/2024 | Brett T

Remember when President Joe Biden tried to quote the Declaration of Independence? “We hold these truths to be self-evident: all men and women created by -go- you know – you know the thing.” That was his stutter. All the times he’s lied about his son being killed in Iraq? That’s his stutter too. Getting arrested trying to visit Nelson Mandela? His stutter. Those times when he just freezes up like his brain is rebooting? That is his stutter. We hear a lot about Biden’s lifelong stutter, even though it’s noticeably absent from footage of him as a senator and as vice president.

…

That reminds one of Biden telling us it was “no joke” that he used to attend a black church daily after mass, even though no one there has any memory of him.

…

Just like Biden almost certainly lied about how he became a public defender the same day he screwed over a welder who burned off his penis. https://t.co/3N1Om7aodk

— Joe Gabriel Simonson (@SaysSimonson) April 15, 2024

(But why it so hard for journalists to simply report the story?)

Mysterious Death of WWII Veteran Milkman Who Vanished After Rounds Finally Solved 56 Years Later
Mirror | 14 April 2024 | Imy Brighty-Potts

Fifty-six years after a Florida milkman vanished after doing his route, the mystery of his murder has been solved, closing one of the oldest cold cases

A murderous mystery has finally been solved as fifty-six years after the truth behind a Florida milkman’s death has been uncovered.

The man failed to return home after his rounds, and now the mystery has been solved, closing the oldest cold case in Indian River County Sheriff’s Office history. Two people who say the suspect confessed to them helped investigators finally understand who killed Hiram “Ross” Grayam, a decorated World War II veteran who was fatally shot from behind while working on April 11, 1968, delivering milk.

So long after his murder, his family were shocked to have new information. The victim’s son Larry Grayam, who was 16 at the time of his father’s death, said the closure of the case has brought mixed emotions.

“It devastated my family as a young kid, and caused me to actually lead a life of public safety and work as a photojournalist as well,” Larry Grayam said. His father, Hiram Grayam, 47, was a married father of three from Vero Beach, was a recipient of the Purple Heart.

He was last seen by a witness talking to two males who then got into his truck, Sheriff Eric Flowers said Thursday at a news conference. The witness “said Mr. Grayam engaged them in conversation and announced that he would be back shortly,” Flowers added.

The next day, Grayam’s body and truck were located in a wooded area in what was described as a “chilling scene,” the sheriff’s office described in a statement. 16 separate investigations occurred through April 1974 in an effort to solve the case, to no avail.

After a long-winded article that doesn’t get to the point . . . 56 years later . . .

Williams died in 2016, but two people said prior to his death he confessed to them that he had brutally killed the milkman. The sheriff’s office told CNN investigators were tipped off in February 2022 by an inmate in their jail, who told them Williams had confessed to him, and perhaps most shockingly, the inmate was a member of Williams’ family, according to the Sheriff.