Straight Line of the Day: Reasons To Suspect You Might Not Have the Best Lawyer in the World: … Posted by Oppo on 22 April 2024, 12:00 pm Spread it around:Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)MoreClick to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Like this:Like Loading... Related
… he keeps shouting, “They have the motive which is money and the body which is dead”, but your case is for speeding… Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
… when you ask about a writ of habeas corpus, she only mutters, “It’s in the trunk…” Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
Reasons To Suspect You Might Not Have the Best Lawyer in the World: … He’s in the cell next to you. Loading... 6 Reply to this comment
Reasons To Suspect You Might Not Have the Best Lawyer in the World: … All of O.J.’s lawyers are dead or re-tired. Loading... 4 Reply to this comment
When talking about his “extensive network of expert witnesses,” he motions toward his stuffed animal collection. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
Insists on pointing & shouting “Objection!” during cross-examinations. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
… What, they suddenly had scruples about showing Mittens getting his inheritance? Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
… Offers prosecutor Quid Pro Cuomo in open court. … Refers to you as “This Coors-Puss Derelicti” during DUI hearing. … Gives cash to Stormy Daniels, out of his own pocket. Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
… His only defense against the (very serious) pending charges is pushing papers off the table and stretching for a belly-rub. Loading... 1 Reply to this comment
I hired him during my college days. The conversation went like this. “Take it easy, I’m pre-law.” “I thought you were pre-med.” “What’s the difference?” Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
He calls a press conference to announce you have evidence against Hillary Loading... 6 Reply to this comment
During consultation, instead of listening, he is busy talking to the invisible beings on each shoulder Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
Wait, the invisible beings on his shoulders, or the ones on my shoulders? ‘Cause mine keep complaining about people ignoring them. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
Your lawyer has a JD from the University of Virginia, and the name on it is “Sheila Jackson-Lee” Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
Your lawyer was rated “Bored Certified” during peer review. One level above “Bored Certifiable.” Loading... 1 Reply to this comment
He walks into a bar and the bartender asks him how’re they hanging? Charges by the hour, cash only, directly to his pimp. Can’t enter a courthouse closer than 100 yards of a school. His best suit is made from Raymond Burr’s skin. Loading... Reply to this comment
… his card includes the slogan, “cash, grass or…”
… their only listing is in the Yellow Pages, under “Plumbers”…
… the receptionist keeps asking if you want to come upstairs…
… all his references list their address as San Quentin…
… he keeps shouting, “They have the motive which is money and the body which is dead”, but your case is for speeding…
Love that movie.
… when you ask about a writ of habeas corpus, she only mutters, “It’s in the trunk…”
Reasons To Suspect You Might Not Have the Best Lawyer in the World: …
He’s in the cell next to you.
Reasons To Suspect You Might Not Have the Best Lawyer in the World: …
All of O.J.’s lawyers are dead or re-tired.
Casey Anthony’s is still available.
The “We accept EBT” sign in the front window.
…he’s being considered for a judicial appointment by Joe Biden.
Extra helping: ~~~
…her method for getting her client off requires lubricant.
Any photos?
… is brother of sheriff; dating prosecutor.
…He was invited to be an analyst on CNN.
….his name is Lionel Hutz,
When talking about his “extensive network of expert witnesses,” he motions toward his stuffed animal collection.
Full of Sound and Furry!
… Uses the “N” word constantly.
Insists on pointing & shouting “Objection!” during cross-examinations.
Cackles and draws Venn diagrams.
An insufficient supply of boots.
… What, they suddenly had scruples about showing Mittens getting his inheritance?
… Offers prosecutor Quid Pro Cuomo in open court.
… Refers to you as “This Coors-Puss Derelicti” during DUI hearing.
… Gives cash to Stormy Daniels, out of his own pocket.
… Constantly corrects judge:
“No ‘He,” Your Honor. ‘It.’ “
He drives a Honda Civic – his ex-wife drives a Porsche 911 Turbo.
… His only defense against the (very serious) pending charges is pushing papers off the table and stretching for a belly-rub.
… His name is Gilligan. No first name, no title.
…. He has both a Harvey and an Obscury.
… and he approaches the bench like this, to examine evidence:
I hired him during my college days. The conversation went like this.
“Take it easy, I’m pre-law.”
“I thought you were pre-med.”
“What’s the difference?”
The state ethics board has him on speed dial
The phone number on his card is a pay phone
He thinks “strategery” is an actual word
He calls a press conference to announce you have evidence against Hillary
During consultation, instead of listening, he is busy talking to the invisible beings on each shoulder
Wait, the invisible beings on his shoulders, or the ones on my shoulders? ‘Cause mine keep complaining about people ignoring them.
Your lawyer has a JD from the University of Virginia, and the name on it is “Sheila Jackson-Lee”
Your lawyer was rated “Bored Certified” during peer review. One level above “Bored Certifiable.”
He walks into a bar and the bartender asks him how’re they hanging?
Charges by the hour, cash only, directly to his pimp.
Can’t enter a courthouse closer than 100 yards of a school.
His best suit is made from Raymond Burr’s skin.