Crime is So Bad in Hawaii Police Are Urging Beachgoers to Take Their Valuables Into The Ocean
Gateway Pundit | Jun. 12, 2024 | Ben Kew“For those enjoying the beach, don’t leave valuables unattended on the sand,” the message read. “Instead, use a waterproof bag that you can take into the water with you.”
Your mai tai gets watered down.
… then you have to watch out for loan sharks…
… the roving bands of beach thieves will just move into the parking lots…
… the surf line will turn into a war zone, like Omaha beach – you’ll have to fight your way out to the safety of your car because the dangling valuables bags will become prime targets…
Women have their dangling valuables bags; I have mine.
… people who bring their Renaissance paintings to the beach usually don’t listen to good advice.
…cars don’t fit in your pockets.
… the sand banks aren’t as secure as you might think…
Much better off with a river bank.
…it’s attracting pirates closer to the shore.
Hawaii Police Are Urging Beachgoers to Take Their Valuables Into The Ocean. Only Problem Is…
…having all your valuables in the water means one unexpected wave and you’ll be wiped out.
You’ll be in a better position to ride a rising bubble, though.
Only problem is …your chances of getting skin cancer goes up by 23% if you see a beach bum loittering for more than 23 minutes.
My wallet is so fat, it’ll surely pull me to the bottom.
Maybe I should stop putting pizza slices in it. “I like pizza”, procedes to lick the top of a slice.
Wives snicker when emergence from water reveals shrinkflation of the family jewels.