Straight Line of the Day: Ways To Make the Bible More Relatable to Modern Folk: … Posted by Oppo on 11 October 2025, 12:00 pm I’ve already made my contribution with the brilliant idea about pronouncing “Noah” as “No-Way.” I implore you to leave the burning bush alone.
Even more catchy – Lazarus of Bethany Pa. Crypto Company: Put some Crypto in your Pepto! Reply to this comment
Just drop in to see what condition your condition is in… and seek a cure for it! Reply to this comment
Add some of that slang the young people are using these days. “In the beginning, God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light, and he saw that it was groovy.” 1 Reply to this comment
Recipe for turning water into zinfandel. Out: Savior In: Influencer Less Bible, more Scripture Tats. Pope Samuel L. Jackson I. 2 Reply to this comment
Bible translator: What does it say:_____________________? What does you want it to say:________________? 6 Reply to this comment
Bible translator: What does it say:_____________________? What do you want it to say:________________? 1 Reply to this comment
You could probably shorten some parts of it to make it less intimidating. Like, And Job’s wife said to him, “Do you still retain your integrity? Curse God and die!” And so he did. And they all lived happily ever after. The end. 1 Reply to this comment
YHWH
YMMV
Chat KJV
David 360 no scopes Goliath
Let me check with Letitia James to see see what is legal. 🙈
Lazarus-brand crypto-coins.
{In multiple denominations.}
Even more catchy – Lazarus of Bethany Pa. Crypto Company: Put some Crypto in your Pepto!
According to Democrats, start by getting rid of the “Ten Suggestions.”
That’s going too far…just make them optional.
Just drop in to see what condition your condition is in… and seek a cure for it!
Add some of that slang the young people are using these days.
“In the beginning, God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light, and he saw that it was groovy.”
More cats
Recipe for turning water into zinfandel.
Out: Savior
In: Influencer
Less Bible, more Scripture Tats.
Pope Samuel L. Jackson I.
Ways To Make the Bible More Relatable to Modern Folk: …
More BIPOCs.
Bible translator:
What does it say:_____________________?
What does you want it to say:________________?
Bible translator:
What does it say:_____________________?
What do you want it to say:________________?
You could probably shorten some parts of it to make it less intimidating. Like,
“Integrity is Job 1.”