As with the rodeo, there is no calming down. You just gotta hold on to the rope, ride it out, and hope your circus clown buddy has your back if and when things go sideways.
Calmly say “Baby, I’m worried – this stress isn’t good for you. Why try doing something relaxing for just a few minutes? How about making me a sandwich, hmm?”
Level 1: Flowers
Level 2: Chocolate
Level 3: Wine
Level 4: Dinner and a show
Level 5: Diamonds
Level 6: If it gets to level 6, the only thing to do is fake your own death and adapt a new identity in some foreign land.
When I first became homophobic was after watching this film:
The Spoilers (1942): Mentioned in discussions regarding the camp, nearly drag-like appearance of John Wayne in certain scenes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0chd6ZP1p6Y
… look her directly in the eyes and say, “Calm down, Honey, you’re getting hysterical…” …Once you regain consciousness, you’ll find she’s much better…
As with the rodeo, there is no calming down. You just gotta hold on to the rope, ride it out, and hope your circus clown buddy has your back if and when things go sideways.
I worked for a volunteer organization in the early 2000s. One volunteer I worked with was a businessman with serious bucks.
Years later I saw him again at a function. He was promoting the local livestock show and rodeo as a rodeo clown.
I spoke to him later and asked him what happened with him.
Turns out he was still loaded. He just decided that the life of a rodeo clown, dangerous as it is, was preferable to the business world.
Calmly say “Baby, I’m worried – this stress isn’t good for you. Why try doing something relaxing for just a few minutes? How about making me a sandwich, hmm?”
…show her the 10 inch 🥒 cucumber bulge in your pants.
How’s a half a dozen pairs of balled up old socks going to change anything?
It’s an excellent conversation starter if nothing else…probably nothing else.
Have you tried turning her off and back on again?
Are you suggesting a hard reboot?
I’m suggesting a volatile memory dump. As a bonus, any beeps she makes during POST will give you a troubleshooting pathway.
Grain Alcohol?
Level 1: Flowers
Level 2: Chocolate
Level 3: Wine
Level 4: Dinner and a show
Level 5: Diamonds
Level 6: If it gets to level 6, the only thing to do is fake your own death and adapt a new identity in some foreign land.
…and for any young dudes that might be here. If you’re not French kissing by the third date you might be gay.
Extra strength Benadryl.
Spray bottle…results may vary.
Spanking worked for John Wayne.
John Wayne was a dame?
The best kept secret in Hollywierd.
What do you want me to do? Draw you a picture? Spell it out? Don’t ever ask me! Long as you live, don’t ever ask me more.
“The Searchers”
When I first became homophobic was after watching this film:
The Spoilers (1942): Mentioned in discussions regarding the camp, nearly drag-like appearance of John Wayne in certain scenes.
That’s a trick question. There is no good way to calm a woman down.
…tell em you have all of Bad Bunny’s records.
…and threaten to play them.