It’s Friday, so you know it’s time for the wire services to post the non sequitur non-news story of Mahmoud Abbas praying at a mosque.
However, this week’s different… this week we’re going to start a new feature called:
So, from Mahmoud Abbas’ expressions, can you tell what Mahmoud Abbas is praying for?
Is it:
a) A shipment of some real “Head And Shoulders” instead of this cheap, UN-knockoff “Behead and Shoulder-Fired Missiles” camel-spunk
b) Atkns-friendly relief supplies. Having the tailors of his suits executed to cover his weight gain is backfiring… they’re all moving back to Jordan.
c) Nobody to notice his rug. Now where did Arafat keep the clean tablecloths…
d) Head and Shoulders! Now!
e) Home Depot to build a franchise in Ramallah. Some wood paneling could cover up that ugly flag on the wall.
f) Dr. Rusty Shackleford to get a kitten for Christmas.
g) To be able to afford chairs. All this standing and bowing is killing his knees.
h) An aspirin for his knees.
or
i) NONE OF THE ABOVE
Put your guesses in the comments.
“Dear Allah, I want a pony and a little plastic rocket for Christmas. Please behead Santa and all of his elves if he does not deliver. Also, get IMAO shut down by our friends at CAIR, but not before I’ve gotten my copy of FrankJ’s book so that I may flush it down the toilet in retribution for the infidel’s treatment of the Holy Quran. They should know by now that the Quran belongs by the toilet in the magazine rack with the latest issue of Reader’s Digest and a copy of Chicken Soup For The Soul, not in the toilet with the stuff that dumb, monkey-faced liberals fling. Amen.”
Damn, it itches. I told him not to make the new hairpiece out of wool!
You forgot:
* Odor Eaters for that sweaty guy to my right.
* Beano for whoever that pig is that keeps cutting the cheese!
A&D:
“Was John Kerry elected President? And is he trying to assassinate me?
Somebody keeps hitting the back of my head with spitballs.”
a: Is that a tick? I think it’s a tick. Weird…where was I? oh, I bet it was when I was at the river last weekend with my flag football buddies. Man, I drank a lot of Pabst..wait-where was I? Lost my place…
d: It IS a tick, and…dang, it came out. Hope the head isn’t still in there. I don’t wanna get lyme disease. Does lyme disease feel like when you drink too many margaritas? Ha, I crack myself up.
A & B: That damned goat fur gets into everything and itches like hell!
Who needs a Home Depot to cover up that abomination on the wall? They know how to use matches with flags, so it should be a simple task to get rid of it.
So…I’ll go with A. The stuff he’s using now is running out fast because of all the brothers guzzling it. 😉 (Because of the Jooos, of course!)
In the name of all the martyred feet-sniffers, Allah, Allah, please be merciful, let the infidels lift the sanction on OdorEaters!!!
I knew I should have checked Mustapha’s goat for crabs first, but she had the most beautiful brown eyes-so full of fear at my touch.
Please allah don’let the scar from the shoulder fired rocket launcher show! ;_)
who the hell do you think you are the quran does not belong next to the toilet you sob and go to hell
You’re so very right Jenny. It belongs IN the toilet right with the rest of the excreted waste from man. A place for everything, and evrything in its place. And the place for the koran is in pulpy pieces swirling down the drain headed to the municipal sewage system. Ta.