Question 12: How would you respond to the statement “Trump is a Russian asset”?
a) “You are correct.”
b) “You are full of crap.”
c) “Bless your heart.”
As I was going to St. Ive’s,
I met a man with seven wives.
The seven wives had seven sacks.
The seven sacks held seven cats.
The seven cats had seven kits.
So, kit, cats, sacks, and wives,
Is that your face or a monkey crawling down your collar headfirst?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
Spot the sarcasm
A)You’re so good-looking
B)You’re so smart
C)No, it’s/they’re not too small
D)All of the above
E)None of the above (like that’s gonna happen)
“For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?”
“If Train A leaves its station at 12:00 heading east, going 100 mph,
and Train B leaves its station 1,000 miles to the east on the same tracks heading west at 150 mph,
what makes you think you’ll be within 100 miles of calculating their correct meeting point?”
“You want some fries with that?”
True or False, Impeachment is next to Godliness.
Do you even sarcastic?
This is a toughie. Back in the day, I miserably failed the test differentiating quotes between Al Gore and the Unabomber.
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
What’s yer favorite colour?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
pull my finger.
Isn’t this the best SLotD straight line we’ve ever had?
Like ever ever ever…?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
Do you have a wealthy family to fall back on?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
Is it Basil or Basil?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
Sarcasm, the gap between your intelligence and my powers of observation.
My late church pastor spelled that gap “sarchasm”
Question 12: How would you respond to the statement “Trump is a Russian asset”?
a) “You are correct.”
b) “You are full of crap.”
c) “Bless your heart.”
D) Orange Man Bad!
…What is the definition of is?
The Professor or Gilligan?
“Is this the best you can do?”
“If Epstein did kill himself, why should I care what happens to you?”
“How much schist could a shifty Schiff shift, if a shifty Schiff could shift schist?”
For the Stupidity Aptitude Test, 3 of the following quotes are AOC, 2 are Pelosi. Good luck! (D is a gimme.)
A. Unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs.
B. A 17-year-old can walk into a shop and purchase an assault weapon.
C. Raising the minimum wage is the right thing to do, but it’s a popular thing to do as well.
D. I wake up every day, and I’m a Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx. Every single day.
E. Americans deserve a better tomorrow, today.
Re: D – I didn’t realize Pelosi was so blatantly guilty of cultural appropriation…
Did your parents have any children that survived?
What is your major malfunction?
Do you have a malfunction or a dysfunction?
Or a dismal function
Are you really as stupid as you look, or is it just an act?
What is an opened-ended question?
If a millennial falls in the forest, does anyone care?
A millennial in the forest…heh, that’s a good one
Ok Boomer.
Bacon or tofu? (licking grease from fingertips and smacking lips)
It’s BACON!, Or, FU. 🙂
As I was going to St. Ive’s,
I met a man with seven wives.
The seven wives had seven sacks.
The seven sacks held seven cats.
The seven cats had seven kits.
So, kit, cats, sacks, and wives,
Is that your face or a monkey crawling down your collar headfirst?
Aaaaaand, Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Will you be insulted if I assume that you actually believe what you just said?
Which of the following the greater threat to mankind?
A) Global warming.
B) Government efforts to mitigate global warming.
C) People who still use “mankind” instead of “humankind.”
Orange man kind!
According to Pretty Boy, it’s “Peoplekind”
Which feminine hygiene product would you be?
Did your parents have any children that lived?
Are water wings required in the shallow end of your gene pool?
21.
Which of the following best applies today? Show your work.
…you think I need your answer?
Other questions on the Sarcastic Aptitude Test include….
Spot the sarcasm
A)You’re so good-looking
B)You’re so smart
C)No, it’s/they’re not too small
D)All of the above
E)None of the above (like that’s gonna happen)
“I didn’t mean to piss you off, that was just a fringe benefit.”
“For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?”
“Welcome, welcome, welcome, Greta. {Eyeroll} I’m so eager to hear your thoughts.” {Eyeroll}
I regreta nothing!
Government official: I’m here to help you.
Ordinary citizen: I’m glad you’re here.
You are? Wash my windows.
“If Train A leaves its station at 12:00 heading east, going 100 mph,
and Train B leaves its station 1,000 miles to the east on the same tracks heading west at 150 mph,
what makes you think you’ll be within 100 miles of calculating their correct meeting point?”
“Nice tie! Is that a clip-on?”
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